Jiggerycock

Turns out it's not black anymore It's 'Charcoal Grey', I mean a big a load of molten horseshit you'll not find outside a Garth Crooks interview!

I'm a simple man. Sky Sports package and surround sound telly. Decent hi-fi system a comfy bed, a toilet that flushes and that's pretty much my key requirements from a domestic unit. Now I'm not some unreconstituted Neanderthal. I can run up a fair Sunday roast (given 6 months notice in writing) and have been known to iron the odd shirt but just because some predatory homosexual off the goggle box makes poor people feel like dirt by fellating a dado rail and Aga on 'Homes Under The Hammer' or 'Interior Designs' or 'Pimp My Cubicle' or whatever tawdry shite these cathode-ray Onanists are foisting on us this week, suddenly I have to be involved in establishing the PRECISE shade of ruddy Organza the front parlour curtains should be made in. Bring me a beer and fuck off whilst you are doing it! (Hetereosexual - what the fuck is that? Yes I know. You correct basic spelling mistakes because it gives you a hard on!)

That bit about shooting them in the neck got me thinking. Wasn't this the black bloke with no neck who bowled seam up for England in the late 80's? Played for Warwickshire? Where's Applescruff when you need him, the selfish cunt?

Good point One way that could be implemented tomorrow is to back Assad. O f course, we have 'previous' in backing the wrong horse in a two-horse race but I'd go with him in a heartbeat rather than have the world try to deal with the alternative.

By now there must be a group of nations whose populations (certainly) and governments (probably) have an anti-IS disposition, who MAY be prepared to come together in a full military alliance to defeat these savages in the borders of their own self-professed caliphate. I realise in talking about IS it is a nuanced situation. I am not talking about anti-Muslim , or even anti-Sunni Muslim (the sect represented by IS) sensibilities, but nations whose government and populations understand that the threat to the peace of the world is greater (and continues to grow) whilst these barbarians have any traction on the world stage. I realise that such a broad military alliance is unlikely and would require great diplomatic skill, before you get to military command structures and interoperability of military kit between disparate nations. But physical military defeat is the only thing that will stop IS. They do not respond to civilised norms. Anything other than extreme barbarity is viewed as a weakness and, as is seen on a daily basis, they have a 'by any means necessary' attitude to their jihad. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-29123528) Yes there will be fallout. Never mind the bodybags returning home. Engagement on the ground with IS will inevitably mean more pictures like the revolting video of the immolation of the Jordanian pilot doing the rounds on social media - but with Australian, Russian, Japanese, British victims (men and I daresay female combatants). There will also be homeland issues to be faced, with an increase of radicalised blowhards prepared to 'do a Lee Rigby' against kuffir in his own backyard. But the alternative? What if IS get their hands on / develop the technology to make a nuclear weapon? How wide will the borders of the Caliphate grow, given they are knocking at the doors of Turkey (a NATO member state) and Russia as well as North Africa now?

Doubt the tubby cunt can even circumnavigate his own gut to give himself a hand shandy - so his penis is but a foreign land to him on every level.

Bruce Lee has fuck all to worry about - even in his present advanced state of necrosis.

Usually happens every Friday after a night on the tins, in any provincial shithole you care to mention - ends up with everyone projectile vomiting on a statue in the market square

Sort of 'Aversion Perversion Therapy' then?

Aren't we missing the point here? Being a bloke and called Marion is about as cunty as it gets, at least until Hilary Benn adds to this post.

It's the adrenaline surge you get when the big boys come to town and you get a chance to perform in front of a big crowd - and it's the same after the game when they all get down Heaven with the poppers and the man-glide.

There's this thing called Ebola - what a horrible disease that fucker is. We've still to get on top of that one. A bit closer to home? Okay, in Twentieth Century Britain, the number of food banks are growing, we get all dewey-eyed about a young girl raising £1/4m for a pensioner who has been beaten up - forgetting the fact he was beaten up by some piece of shit in the first place.....oh and just for shits and giggles the Russians are getting a bit frisky with our airspace. Still, as long as the agenda can be bossed by some gobby minorities that's just fucking peachy.

Wrong! Brazilian fart porn doesn't exist in the real world. God knows I've searched.......

If there's anything the senseless killings in Paris have taught us.... ... it's how to say 'I am' in French

No sympathy fuck for me then - heartless bitch

Even better name for a song Google 'The Strechheads' for enlightenemnt

I suspect it's not an anal beard he's after, although you never know with that irredeemable pervert.

'Hole in one......mashy niblick.....nice 69 before lunch......one in the rough.....head down the loo, up the arse, no lube' etc

I think he's probably aiming somewhere else - and it's not his beard either

Just goes to show you should never trust Wikipedia. It says Pol Pot died in 1998

Right you cunt - the gloves are off! My imaginary friend is going to come round and get all Old testament on you! How you like me now??

'Cleaning his wig' Well I never heard it called THAT before

This....Location Location Location....all this house buying / renovating wank for the TV drudge-monkeys. Why don't they just call it 'sneering at the poor' or' you'll never afford anything like this' or 'how to turn a small fortune into fuck all via a wanky vanity project' At least that'd be honest. Mind you, you'd still have the horrors of the pretentious, 'up-the-arse' comments of the presenters to deal with. Nitromors enema for the cunts is my best advice

I hate it when Edward Scissorhands takes them off - usually before a prostate examination. Just me again 'eh, as fucking usual.

You make a very sage point