Roadkill

Well I'm on episode four and fuck me is it getting spicy. Spiritual journey Worf is a nice foil for any Raffy bollocks. I'm guessing there's a ship in hangar 12, considering they've fucked the Titan in the arse (literally) and I know they're not just all going to die four episodes in because that would be silly. The question is what ship? Now the Enterprise D got written off the one time they let Troy drive, so unless we're talking time travel bollocks it won't be that, although it could be another Galaxy class. I noticed the fond reference to it by Riker at the pub in episode one. Or it could be Picard's first command - he did mention the Enterprise was his favourite, but not his first. I know for a fact his first command was the Stargazer - the Space Jews found it and tried to get up to mischief with it in that Next Gen episode - and I think that actually survived. But I specifically remember him saying that thing was a piece of shit even back in the day, and it was mostly a wreck by the time they got it back at the end of the episode. They could go full classic and make it an original Constitution or a Kirk era refit for nostalgia, but that wouldn't be related in any way to Picard. I'm hoping it's the Enterprise B - my favourite of the Enterprises because it's basically just a beefed up Excelsior class - we never really hear much about that one after it appeared at the beginning of Generations, but we know the Enterprise C got fucked by Romulans with a time travelling Tasha Yar aboard. Don't let me know exactly, but is at least one of these right?

@Eric Cuntman @Decimus right you pair of cunts. I'm watching season 3 of Picard now and I'll admit it's quite good so far, but there's still one glaring fucking issue. This Raffy bint is a pace killing, B plot forging, pain in the arse sideshow. I still haven't bothered with season 2 due to the horror stories I'm hearing about that shit show, but I tried to re watch season 1 and ran into the same problem. Every time the cunt is on screen she's having an existential crisis, dripping with melodrama and self pity, dragging out every moment on camera and begging the audience to feel pity for her. Everything this miserable cunt is doing would be better performed by Picard's bit on the side Irish Romulan housekeeper - a far superior character than the rest of the absolute shit this show has offered us by way on new characters - including this filthy fucking drug addict who seems like she was cast for a side role in an episode of Breaking Bad than anything relating to Star Trek. I am enjoying the new season so far. But this cunt is still dragging it down in terms of potential. Star Trek has managed to do reluctant heroes in the past just fine - every other cunt on DS9, from the Space Jews to the Lizard Nazis got it spot on, but when this bint isn't moaning about how difficult everything is she's just blindly blaming other, far more likeable characters for her issues. Please let me know if she dies heroically at any point.

Those aren't tattoos on her leg. It's guide lines for the surgery seams for when she cannon balls out another Godspacker. Plastic surgery is an amazing thing. She probably came out of the birthing room looking like that half a cunt Tom Hanks was dragging across the beach at the start of Saving Private Ryan.

Fucking hell. There's really nowt there, is there? Like a goldfish being taught how to bare its teeth on command. I see Mam's been late with the Frubes again, dozy, collapsed faced bint.

It's got electrolytes.

The "Keep Calm and Carry On" generation is long gone these days. I honestly get a stiffy thinking of the mass hysteria and absolute panic that would consume the nation of dyed haired snowflakes and attention seeking cunts in the final moments before a nuclear strike today. There'll be at least one Just Stop Oil cunt who glued themself to a motorway as the worst possible time for the future archaeologists to ponder over, the LGBT community will split into separate raiding warlord tribes in the aftermath. The BBC will secure the borders of London and impose a post apocalyptic Orwellian mega city and the water in Newcastle might run a bit browner for a few days.

This is like those two little spackers on the electric bike. Again, underage, unqualified little shit stain with a doting mother gets caught operating a vehicle they have no right to. They try to run and they get themselves killed - shooting a driver that refuses your order to stop is supposedly legal in France, although they instantly buckled to the pressure and charged the copper who done it with homicide. Mother ignores all concept of her own responsibility and works the crowd into a frenzy before going home and having a cuppa, waiting for the interview requests to start rolling in.

"They're already dead!"

I think we should just bomb Sheffield regardless of geopolitical tensions.

I don't give a shit about either side in this war, Billy. I'm just pointing out your false statement that these glow in the dark cunts are getting free cash that could go towards helping disabled blind children with AIDS and crack addictions. They're getting stockpiled military equipment that was bought years ago at the taxpayer's expense then left in a big shed. The number you're seeing is the highly inflated and often double charged value of all the shit (conveniently decided by the cunts seeing this as a huge opportunity to show the plebs how much they care about independence and sovereignty and unicorns and rainbows and shit), not cold hard bags of cash. Those long range Storm Shadow missiles the little bastards have been frying Vlad with are from back when you still had your original teeth. Due an upgrade or a scrapping, turns out giving them to Ukraine was cheaper and more politically valuable than either of those options. It's more of a huge advertising campaign for the military industrial complex than a money laundering scheme. We have HS2 for that.

Whilst I do agree that seeing a homeless person try and eat a Storm Shadow missile would be amusing, I don't really think handing out stockpiled military equipment to the downtrodden is really going to solve world hunger, Billy.

They're funded by Russia and full of Russian cunts so I think it's safe to say there's a connection. Basically their modus operandi before the war was to rape and pillage in Africa and enforce Russian interests in foreign wars by keeping the right cunts in power. Turns out giving a bunch of murderers and militant racists a bunch of guns and a free pass gives them a bit of an ego, a fragile one at that, which tends to get damaged when the enemy they're fighting does such unspeakable things like fight back or have any kind of training or comparative equipment. They've also been known to kill their own members via sledgehammer or analy rape anyone who isn't geet tough and hard, but they swear they aren't gay. Basically a bunch of 'orrible little cunts who really emphasize the "special" in special forces. There's already been reports of the ones being forced to sign up with the regular Russian infantry getting a friendly welcome by the miserable conscript wankers they were previously lording it over.

Guess this sort of thing should be expected when one of your most effective military leaders is a drunken ex hotdog salesman in control of a PMC better equipped and trained than the horde of teenagers and old men that make up your real army.

I need to break up the old sofa this weekend to get it in the car. You can have it for the prototype if you want.

Biodegradable, too. For the hippies. This would never have happened with us in charge.

Yes, Gypps, I know you were talking about her gash. It was a good joke, calm down.

To quote Data: "Technically, blown out".

The only footage coming close to such a situation would probably be from the Paria pipeline disaster. Five cunts were working in a pressurised bell at the end of an undersea pipe and somehow broke the cap on their side with the other end uncapped. Basically made themselves into a huge spitball, the pressure in the bell forced them into the pipe in an instant. The footage just looks like the camera cuts to black until you hear the confused screaming of not long for this world pulped cunts suddenly finding themselves hundreds of metres inside a pitch black undersea pipe. One cunt made it back out. And that was a tiny fraction of the pressure at the Titanic wreck.

It was an explosive first date.

We learned the depth of the Titanic in school, I watch Formula One so I know what to expect from carbon fibre when it breaks, and I've looked up the results of the Byford Dolphin accident in the past, so I have a rough idea how much of a cunt sudden changes in pressure can be on the human body. Femur is the strongest bone in the body, hip bone is uniquely shaped, makes sense parts of one or the other might survive. Don't get pissy with me, sheep. I'll push you down the stairs.

Five bodies in a carbon fibre tube imploding at 4000m. Carbon fibre is strong but brittle, it would have shattered like a fragmentation grenade at that depth. You might get a fragment of hip bone or femur to mourn if you're incredibly lucky but the rest is already gone on the current.

True, true explorers, exploring the never before seen or recorded (on an iPhone) wreck of the Titanic. Seriously though - we've had footage of the cunt since '86. Even had a fully rendered 3D scan of it mapped recently with all of the sediment and darkness filtered out. I don't fucking "explore" the petrol station - and I fucking guarantee that hasn't been as thoroughly pictured and mapped as the wreck of the Titanic over the years - every time I visit the fucker. And I certainly don't drive there in an entirely experimental airtight vehicle, controlled with a video game controller, with a single door bolted shut from the outside that requires signing a waiver stating three times that I might die getting there.

Well I suppose imploding within a fraction of a millisecond is better than slowly suffocating on your own farts over four days. Personally I fully endorse the idea of this little death trap coffin - may it continue to implode many more rich cunts or "noble explorers". I've already contacted Sony and Microsoft so they can get in touch with their best mate Erroreptyle - he'll be fucking brilliant piloting the next one.

So are they dead yet or do you reckon they killed the pilot cunt to preserve oxygen?

I thought he was my son and your brother. Get your bloody lore sorted before we end up looking like the fucking Habsburgs raped the Addams Family.