Rev

Murray's just a fucking crushing bore. To be fair, I'd be bored out of my fucking tits if I were married to that fucking pig of a wife he has. Where'd he find that chromosome-deficient slag? A cut-price brothel? In a chippie? Or at the Ugly Fucking Cow championships? Answers on a post card. Send to - Rev's "I want him dead" competition.

She's one of those old school lesbanians who almost certainly read Sociology at Uni and wore the dyke uniform of fez, home-made and organic piss-dyed Aran knit, Che Fucking Dirty Commie Fucking Bastard Guevara T-shirt, combat shorts, novelty rainbow socks with individual toe gloves, cherry red Dr Marten boots and sported a beard. I've got nothing against fucking lesbians, but it's time the cunts got their bastard act together. Lesbians should all look like either Lucy Verasamy or Esther McVey and willingly indulge in deep anal public fisting (up to the fucking elbow at least). I don't want to see, or hear about any more of these flabby-buttocked, sagging-titted old pot-boilers with crusty fuds like a fucking ripped out fireplace and sweaty flaps like a pair of LIDL gammon hangers. I want her dead.

The cops seem to have already shot the cunt dead. Early reports are that he was an Afghani. That'll be that religion of peace working again. Cunts.

When this fucking cunt-blister dons his trade turtle-neck sweater, he looks like a fucking roll-on deodorant and his fucking beach-ball head looks like his neck's blowing a bubble. He's a fucking smug, pop-eyed penis with as much discernible talent as a fucking Toblerone. He's a cunt. I want him dead.

This Pegg cunt has yet to appear in a film I can watch more than half an hour of. He needs tethered to a tree and silenced with a breeze block...and set on fire, obviously. Fucking Fanta-pubed cunt. I want him dead.

Back on topic..I fucking hate cats, almost as much as I detest fucking football, but slightly more than I hate Belgians. If they were people, they'd be the friendless, specky gay bastard that no cunt liked at school and grew into an adult who still smelled of stale piss. Julie Newmar was a cunt.

Jesus H Fuck, punkers. The delivery of your comment suggests that it's wrong to.

It's a fucking pity Theresa May doesn't look more like Esther McVey. If she did, I'd be fucking the shiny shit out of her.

You're absolutely bang on the cunting money, Monu. I well remember using this fucking arse-paper to erase about two litres of a vodka and mixed pakora-fuelled flock of sparrows that I'd sprayed a cubicle a rather fetching shade of russet when I was a young bastard about town. I'd fucking shat a bona fide Type 7 on the Bristol Scale and this bastard IZAL was like trying to wipe your arse on a fucking air hockey table. It just turns everything beige and makes your arse look like fucking Pearl Harbour. Nowadays I just use curtains when visiting. It just seems more dignified.

Who fucking cares, really? Football's for fucking benders. And cunts.

They're fucking great places to get reconstituted offal in a roll, pick up your next plaything for the power tools rôle-playing in your discreet, but spacious lock-up and shoot the fucking breeze with the acne-ridden, nails bitten down-to-the-quick cow behind the serving hatch. Some of them, especially the unpopular and fat ginger ones get lonesome and are only too happy to get their knuckles wet, or take a fucking good jack-hammering right up their dung-hatch behind the generator out the back, in exchange for a salad burger and chips with tea to go. I think there should be one set up at every dogging site. After blowing your yogurt over some dirty bint's Scirocco window, every decent bloke should be able to grab a roll and bacon. It's fucking common sense. Peter Sutcliffe's a cunt.

It's a pity Esther McVey left politics. I'd still fuck the ovaries right out of her...and smash her fucking back doors in for good measure.

Juncker's a prick, but he has one redeeming quality. He told Nicola "Fucking Ugly Commie Lesbian Bastard" Sturgeon to fuck right off yesterday. The fucking dwarf bitch came back today declaring her trip a huge success, after Spain, France, Germany, the Czech Republic, Denmark and Hungary told her to go and fuck herself. I want her dead.

I think it's fucking great and a testament to women's ability to multi-task. Lob their jugs out in public, feed their (or some other cunt's) absent-fathered brat on the one chest-bollock, while I free the sea-monkeys and give her a face like a fucking plasterer's radio, after honking the other like a clown's horn. Job done.

These fucking twelve-toed, chromosome-deficient, rugby ball-headed inbred bastards can fuck right off. All they know how to do is shiv seal cubs, go ice-fishing and make fuck-ugly children and as such, are as much use as a fucking nun's tits. I want them dead. Cunts.

Ah. Now if it were smashing a bloke's back doors in, I'd agree 100% with you. However, the quite fragrant Ms Verasamy is a woman. If she begged you, would you refuse on the grounds that it constitutes chuttery?

Obsessed, Dingo? I think this might have been singularly the only occasion when I have ever mentioned smashing someone's back doors in. That's hardly obsession. However, perhaps you could elucidate on exactly what relationship there is between poofdom and chuttery and smashing Lucy Verasamy's back doors right in. She's a woman. I'm a bloke. I'm having difficulty making the comparison.

They're a shower of yurt-dwelling Summer Solstice-buggering cunt-beards who need grabbed and swung by their anal beads and have their fucking empty bastard heads dashed against a badly pebble-dashed wall...but I'd make this Steve watch me fuck his wife first. I suspect she'll have a slabbering big vagina that looks like the top of a fucking ghillie's wader, what with the bespoke canoes and barbecue equipment she stows away in it.

We're back to educating then. There's no point in having a dozen kids, with the expectation that they'll both bring money to the house and look after their parents when they're no longer able to work, if the fucking kids have a mortality rate of over 85%. 67% of the cunts die before they're 5. Fucking isn't the answer. We should just perhaps bomb seven shades of cunt out of everything south of Tunisia and start again.

What a fucking penis. He is deserving of having his fucking ribs broken courtesy of a 16oz ball pein hammer and set on fire at the very least. All of these piss-stained, tie-dyed unicorn-chasing, maypole-dancing cunts should have their fucking teeth and fingernails wrenched out with a pair of badly rusted tin snips and be molten down into solid fuel. Fucking Save the Whale bastards. Captain Ahab was a cunt.

Yep, let us steer it back on course to a more palatable naked jelly-wrestling lesbian all-in "victor fists the loser" bout between Lucy Verasamy and Esther McVey, refereed by a barely clothed and inconceivably moist Liz Hurley, in a paddling pool filled with Nutella and Jaffa Cakes.

I never suggested doing nothing, however, it would have been prudent to do what I suggested, rather than haemorrhage other cunts' cash on projects that were completely fucking inappropriate.

The majority of Ethiopia is Christian, a very small minority of which is RC, if that is the religious teachings you're talking about. The money should never have been funding any part of their governmental apparatus; it should have created wells, local institutions where cunts could get clued up on not having ten kids and rudimentary public services like basic healthcare. The fact is, whatever way cunts like Geldof spin it, LiveAid didn't work, because they never addressed the root of the problem, preferring instead to plough money donated by other cunts into something that made no fucking difference.

So, my point stands. Educate them. The problem was never going to get solved with them fucking each other to death, while they were dropping like flies in their millions. The problem's still there after hundreds of millions were spent giving them shit they didn't need. 80% of them still live on less than the equivalent of $2 a day and 50 million of them are living in abject poverty, primarily because they won't stop having fucking huge families.

So, cunts over here donated cash, so that Live Aid could feed some fuckers who had completely lost the ability to digest food. What we should have done was air-drop this prick Geldof and 100 metric tonnes of condoms and told the cunts to stop over-breeding. I just never understood their way of thinking. "Help, we're fucking starving, no food, no money, no water. Hey, let's start a family". What the fuck kind of way is that to better your circumstances?