Rev

Better watch, Dukes. The fat security cunt at the exit door who has more chance of catching a cold than a fucking shoplifter and smelling of date-expired Brie is Bronski's mate wearing a US Marine's forage cap and hanging out of his mum's blue waffle.

Fuck me. I just watched that today, 7s.

I sense you are unhappy, Andy. What has brought this sudden cynical happenstance to your door? Has your boyfriend left you?

Yeah, Bronski seems like the kind of cunt who'd smear his genitalia with Whiskas Filet Mignon (in meaty juices) and thumb-fuck a Calimero plushie.

Yeah. I just watched it. It'd be like handing the keys to a Formula 1 car to Stephen Fucking Hawking.

I might be able to dig out Nuns On The Job. It's on Super 8, but I've never seen two Carmelite Mendicants giving it the fucking beans with a double-ender any better.

Yeah. Ivy Rorschach and her Gretsch 6120J. Two reasons to masturbate to the Cramps.

I wish that one who went bonkers in Black Narcissus got them out for the lads. Her and that gypsy dancer rolling about naked and oiled up in an inflatable pool of half-set jelly wearing nipple-tassels would have done it for me.

Yeah, Grumps and I remember that night very well.

I did, spotto, after a little re-routing. Very jangly sound. Had to re-locate power jack and put a new(ish) unwarped neck on, too, before I sold it on, but have a Rockett Parfitt relic on order. Six months to build, so bit of a wait before I can put a photo up.

Just at first glance, you can tell neither of those blokes, or indeed any of the female blokes with them, have ever had a fumble under the duvet with a member of the opposite sex. I'm just thinking of the carnage I could cause in that room with a bottle of vodka, a ball-peen hammer and a lock-back, before setting their screaming remains on fire. Cunts.

He didn't know much about the medical intervention of abdominal aortic aneurysms, ergo, he was a cunt.

I'm pretty sure it is. What makes you say that, Londo?

So, in essence, these people are cunts then, spotto?

I'm sure klefto still holds a candle for you, Miss P. In fact, I suspect jugs does too. It's where he regularly puts it that concerns me.

...obviously.

That's a nasty place to have it, Miss P. Have you had your Sanatogen? Lux Interior was a cunt.

His skin is so pockmarked, it looks like some cunt has either set the bastard on fire and put him out with a golf shoe, or run a rotovator over him and planted some King Edwards in his fucking face. Either way, the bloke's an unwashed-looking cunt and probably smells of piss.

This fucking roly-poly, funny as cutaneous T-cell Lymphoma, "Eee, I'm a right fat cunt, men are all bastards" sow looks as if she's necked a zorbing ball built for two and needs her fucking curtains set on fire..and when I say curtains, I don't mean her bay-window drapes. Cunt.

Leave the cunts in the freezer overnight, or failing that, for a quick fix, 90 minutes on defrost in the microwave.

I had that album. I remember having to hide it from the old man the day I bought it, because it had a monologue about benders and lesbanians on the back and didn't want him to think he'd spawned a goat-blowing backgammon player.

Yeah. I'm going to wait a day or two before publicly claiming that Robin Williams touched my smelly freckle out of a mark of respect.