Decimus

If you're not Lorraine Kelly or that faggot cunt who does the entertainment news on This Morning, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself for even knowing who this fat fucking tart is. Kill yourself. PS: In case you are either Lorraine Kelly or the faggot, also kill yourself.

An excellent subject matter sadly ruined by an absolutely fucking awful execution. A top tip for any future posts that you make would be to inject a little bit of humour into them. Failing that, casual racism usually goes down quite well here.

Cor-blimey trouser wearing, pigeon feeding, tuppence a bag waving, eel-stinking, knees-up mother browning, Kray twins knowing, fat bent cunt.

Fat faggot Fonzi '50s cunt

Was going to ignore this, but see you're currently logged on. Fat queer.

None taken. I'd give him one myself (matron) but I'm currently allocating my daily allowance to John Bull.

Let's compare the above two posts. One is from a member widely considered to be perhaps the thickest cunt to ever drape his nit-filled ponytail over Proper's welcome mat. The other is from the self-proclaimed big hitter and "best one on here". Proof if proof was necessary that spastic trumps narcissist every single time.

I imagine that the last time you were sober enough to clutch any wheel was 1976. Did they even have mini roundabouts then?

She does. Reported.

I'm not sure whether you're overly found of Mrs. S. I'm assuming that you wish her dead. May I suggest that you hook her up with Mrs. D. and we then send them off toward Beachy head together in a Bedford Rascal stacked full of flammable substances and a Thelma and Louise soundtrack in the tape deck.

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain. There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake. Cue a stream of obscenities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her. What a stupid fucking cunt.

The emasculation of the nation's hipsters and biker gangs is complete. Gyppo walked all categories and received an additional lifetime achievement award for the hairiness of her gooch, wiping the floor with her nearest competitors, a silverback lowland gorilla, Dave Lee Travers and Mrs. Roops.

Much like the common house mouse, Drew lives his life in a near constant state of incontinence. I imagine that he'd be a fucking nightmare at a festival after his 16th tin, ripping his catheter tube out of his maggot and cracking it around like a pissy whip.

Have you been sanctioned at the job centre again?

You've displayed some absolutely fucking disgusting fawning and simpering behaviour toward the Jews on here in recent days. You claim to be an English gentleman, and state that your golf club has a strict entrance policy. However, unlike most members of the upper classes, it seems that you'd be more than happy to play a round with penny pinching, nasally little desert refugees and have no shame in admitting it. You're no catholic, you're a disgusting crypto-Jew Marrano cunt. Fuck off.

Welcome, brother.

I had no idea who this abomination was until I typed his name into google. My levels of disgust doubled when it soon became apparent that you made this nom after watching Celebrity Big Brother. What have you got to say for yourself?

I always thought that old Willie would be dead to you following his disgraceful independence views.

You're summoning up some disgusting Field of Dreams type images here, Eric. I can imagine the skeletal little faggot stood alone on some French beach planning his next big Corner move, whispering over and over "If I post it, they will like", his Costner wig shoved up his fucking arse.

This past week you have had the perfect window of opportunity to prove to the plebs that you're still relevant. With me out the way, all you had to do was out compete Wizz, Stubby and Eavens to get a position on the leaderboard and mount a challenge to overtake Eric. You didn't even come close. Look at those three names again. Wizz, Stubby and Eavens. Now tell me that you've still got it. Pack your bags and fuck off, you're finished here.

I'd say that I spend no more time on here than your good self or a core group of ten or more others, our respective post counts aside, you're invariably logged on whenever I appear. As for the other matter, I'm afraid that if you're looking to add my scalp to Monumental's, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Beyond this post, I'm not going to respond to anything else on the subject when I have no chance of proving it short of posting a video of me trapsing around some desolate foreign shit hole calling out the username of a member of a niche website. I'm fine with you not believing me.

Now don't get me wrong, this all sounds very plausible to me when you put it like that. But hypothetically speaking, do you think that if I was making the whole thing up for whatever obscure reason, I would have factored all of this in to my subsequent fictitious return and posted a day or more after? I may bullshit for England, but I'm far from stupid. All I'll say is I went and I came back, whether it was an all inclusive package as stated, custom, business, pleasure, personal or otherwise, I'll leave up to the fevered imaginations of Frank and anyone else who is interested.

There was nothing wrong with Proper's previous detection technology...P.