Neil

I went out on my new bike today,stick to the lanes I thought,don't want to piss off the drivers.Then I thought 'fuck it' those cunts hold me up during the week.Good job I live in a nice part of the world surrounded by decent people.Very curteous they were,gave plenty of room when passing and altogether a very pleasant ride. And before you ask,no I didn't wear lycra.It would have looked like I had a set of pool balls down my leggings and a pool cue in my pants Fuck off

The advert starts with some rug muncher introducing 'my wife Jack',not sure what happens after that because I kicked the cunting screen in.Ive never set foot in an Aldi and never will,dirty fucking cunts.

Cricket is for irons

Apparently having an argument with you girlfriend one morning is the reason you sideswipe a referee and cause him life changing injuries and the need for facial reconstruction surgery.The barrister that deliverd this 'mitigation' is a grade one cunt and the other grade one cunt should have got more than 20 months .I hope Leroy gives him a good old anal stretching while he's locked up.......and the useless cunt had already let 3 goals in!

Sorry about that,I sent my missus in to buy a new pair of kecks.The old ones with Charles and Di on were getting a bit manly.I fucking told her they don't do new for old in Marks

and you cunts pay for it!

Gyps used to go to church regularly but since the scrap price dropped below a quid a kg she's concentrating more on peoples sheds.

Were you born before the war? Send me a telegram and let me know would you.Toodle pip

When my wife died no one came and helped me,took fucking ages on my own with one tiny shovel.....selfish cunts

Osgood,Mckay,Kilkline et al would have ripped his head off and shat down his neck

I know Scholes is a fucking horrible little ginger cunt but Barton is a fucking cunt of the highest order,dirty little scouse thug who stubs out cigars in youth players eyes and fights in the street.A despicable cunt

Is there any chance Donald could build a wall across the Atlantic,not to keep us out but to keep you cunts in.

The thing I don’t get about paedophilia is why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy

It would probably be the messiest blow job a man could get,a full blow back all over your pubes,I never was into recycling

She made me laugh when she fucking died,one of the unfunniest cunts EVER

The only 'comedians' in womens comedy are men hating dykes.Name one funny one

I'm sure the cunting weather is not on this list

She may be fit in the physical sense but its a fucking ugly munter with a horse face............Id fuck it for a fortnight

He was funnier than Ken fucking Dodd

Being a yank his arteries are probably about to give up on him due to the humongous amount of Dr Pepper and foot long dogs the cunt stuffs on a daily basis.Maybe he's Jazz's distant cousin....same spastic tendencies only louder.

I see you've met the Americunt Decs,I had a feeling he may get your juices going.Kill it.

Stuart Lee,the only time this cunt could make me laugh is if he did a 'Tommy Cooper'

The curly permed one lives in my village,fucking boring fact I know but I'm bored so get fucked

I like dogs but I couldn't eat a whole one