Neil

​Not started yet,my vitriol was due to opening a letter from HMRC fining me £100 for a late return,give me a couple of hours to top up on grog and i'll really let the bitch 'ave it

Shes a fucking minger,hate her cum stained face with a passion.If she was on all fours in front of me now the only thing 9" long i'd give her is a size 9 Doc Marten boot right in the snatch,although I'd probably lose my whole fucking leg in her saggy old clowns pocket.Wouldn,t piss on the cum bucket if she was on fire.Dog rough publicity whore!

Apparently there has been a Twitter campaign to get One Direction to visit her in hospital,hasn't the poor cow suffered enough?

Anyone that has gone down on that fat fucking piece of blubber that is Dawn French deserves any fucking medal thats on offer,lasted years with her I believe,Lenny I salute you,no man should have to face anything that vast,baggy and stinky and the poor cunt has lived to tell the tale

I'm no music snob as I like most music for different moods/times/places but one thing that fucks me off is modern jazz shite,its like having an over active blue bottle buzzing about in you inner ear,utter wank and anyone who tries to tell me i'm wrong must be fucking mutton jeff.i'd rather listen to pinky and perky on acid than this audible wank

"Your liver's fine Mr Kennedy,just go home and relax,tek a wee dram before bed"

wasn't that the silly old fucker in the yellow pages advert who couldn't find his own book on fly fishing?

​Watch this fucking space....................

ive tried to instill honesty,morality and ethical behaviour into my 2 kids but I think I should have just told them to milk this shit fucking society for what they can get.end result is that my 30 year old kids have fuck all chance of ever being able to own their own home and the future is far from fucking rosy.All they see is friends who don't fucking work or have loads of sprogs and seem to get all the help they fucking need.ive told them that credit cards and loans are to be steered well clear of and yet their 'friends' who have no fucking morals or conscience just keep adding to their personal mountain of debt without a worry in the fucking world.then he gets a text from some shitbag company saying that if you've got over £6 grands worth of debt not to worry because there's a government back scheme that could write off 75% of the total debt to ease your worries!..... Utter cunts,I should have told them from an early age to piss off to another country and kiss 'Great' Britain good fucking riddance!

When it comes to blowing smoke up their own kids arses all parents are cunts,especially the ones that cant wait to tell you how many 'A' grades their sprog got.They have great delight in telling you which uni their glowing piece of shit is off to.Had the conversation recently and said cunt couldn't wait to tell me 'golden bollocks' was off to the university of .....er Luton!.thats the equivalent to a technical college in my day,fuck nuts!

Just another name for a poof prep school

What the fuck is it that makes people want to sit in a cloud of their own stench for 20 fucking minutes or more?.I will never get why anyone can take so long to unload,get in,drop the kids off at the pool and fucking get out.Why would you want to sit on an uncomfortable seat,surround yourself in a fog of last nights curry and generally go into a coma for that length of time?,fucking boils my piss when I cant get in the karsi cos some cunt has decided to read War And Peace and do a good impression of Terry Waite. For fucks sake,shit,get off the pot and fuck off!

The list of cunts that are only on telly cos of the amount of cocks they sucked is endless........Kate Garroway,Amanda Holden,Anthea Turner,Anthony Cotton,Alan Carr,Melissa Messenger,Dale Winton,Susannah Reid,Eddie Izzard,Katy Hopkins et al,Lets be honest it all started with the nonce generation,Monkhouse,Green,Dodd,Grayson and the biggest cum bucket of 'em all,Cilla cunting Black,how could such a screeching,tuneless,scouse,goofy ginger cunt get so many TV gigs?,helmet munching thats how.

​Fat Frank Lampard,its time the pair of cunts jumped on a Virgin flight and fucked off to America where the cunts deserve each other,oh and he could take Beckham and his pouty stick insect spunk monkey with him.

Christine fucking Bleakley,horse toothed irish shit-for brains cackling fuck stick

The secret is that if they say SAS or anything other than 'The Regiment' when bigging themselves up about who they served with they were probably in the catering corps and the nearest they got to any danger was being near the bogs the morning after serving up a dodgy curry the night before,Cunts

living in a village that has a stables 200 yards away I have on 3 occasions found jodphur clad bints lying in the road minus said long faced fuckwit equine,scared off by a stray crisp packet blowing in the wind or a loose fucking leaf fluttering across the road.I dont care how fucking big the four legged cunts are they're all scaredy cat cunts,fuck the scandal of a couple of years ago they should all be minced into burgers immediately,and some of the cunts are old bill!

You walk into a public lav to have a wazz and the cunt thats already at the urinal zips up his cecks and strolls out without washing his piss soaked digits putting his cheesy fucking fingers all over the door handle that you have got get hold of to exit the bogs,dirty cunts one and all.In Cyprus last year I went to the crapper to find the restuarant owner zipping up,fastening his belt as I entered and off he breezed straight out the fucking door and by the time I'd got back down to my table the cunt already had his stinky fingers all over some poor fuckers plate containing a freshly cooked meal..Buon appetite Cunt!.WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS YOU DIRTY CUNTS

Just watched the prick walking around Glasgow in stilettos,blouse and a pencil skirt campaigning for the election,he probably thought someone said erection and couldnt wait to get there.A grade 1 cunt!

That Tulisa bird was worth throwing one up until she decided to destroy her chops,silly cunt

That guys spunk must have had plutonium in it!!

What about that old bag in corrie years ago,Irene or Eileen tilsley was it?.looked like she'd sucked off a cock fresh out the oven

​Tighter rope is the only answer

FUCK!!...now I know why my inheritance had suddenly gone down,fucking bitch!

​Please dont knock on her door,she'll think the grim reaper has finally arrived