Neil

It's worse than that Drewpy......having spent the usual fortune at the bar and on grub the fact that this is with the Mrs means I'm not going to be able to do the usual of slipping one up her arse as soon as she passes out when her head hits the pillow.

I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts

You're confusing me with someone who gives a shit

'And Dave' is a shit name for a band,I fear his career may be over

I think she must have eaten all those fucking beans!

"Oil spill in aisle 3"

Is this where the saying "Jackshit" came from? Any cunt that shops in Aldi or Lidl needs a fucking good kicking the scummy cunts

I got 41 points the other day so I'd probably kick your ass..........and you'd never get in my club

Your arse must be red raw then,and you should clean the shit off your club grips before it goes crusty........Fore(skin)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Stop cock blocking me you cunt,I think I might be in here.

I'd do her,right up the stench trench.

Those fucking Swede doctors always had a better way to do a prostate examination eh? shame yours was positive but a better way to find out nonetheless

God bless ya Stubbs...thats one knocked out before tea,I'll save this in the 'ol wank bank for laters.

Just remembered...Rachel De Thame or Summat like that,the sort you'd offer to wipe down afterwards rather than piss clean.

That's not dirt under her fingernails it's Tommy Walsh's shit.Id gladly play with her tits until I spaffed all over them but she'd have to be gagged and have a fertiliser bag over her bonce for me to get even a chubby on.The other bird off of gardeners world would get her lady garden turned over,posh looking sort with long hair,I'm sure someone will tell me her name.......Oh and the rosy cheeked little Blond off of countrywide.I'd go roaming in her gloaming in an instant.

I thought this was the sick joke thread?......Oh wait,Frank and 'eavens......it is.

She goes on to support her evidence and theory, by saying Fruit bats suck each other off during and after sex, possibly for the same reason as the squirrel wanks,  We could learn a lot from these animals,Mrs N watches a lot of nature programmes,I might suggest that she pays more attention in future.

You are Theresa May and I claim my £5

But someone's got to clean the shitter

Lovely cakes though

Remember it well,the way the cunt yells "did you touch my motor" defines him as big a cunt as the fucking slag he got mixed up with, Denise Van outen.......thank fuck they never had kids!

She did say "I'll keep an eye out for you"

Fuck me Eric,You'll have to give me a while to go through the 'ol database of 'wouldn't touch it with yours '.......It may take a long time!

Ok,until it opens its gob