Witheredscrote

I see God as more of a cigar man

Your dining table would look distressed if I visited. I would slam your head into it at least 20 times, you annoying waste of oxygen.

Cunt, I nearly choked on my whisky. It wouldn't be his own urine, he would ask Bill Beaumont for some.

Scotty is never about when you need him

Where is Scotty?, he has a lot of filing to do.

Yeh, and I bet you have bitten a few parts in your time as well.

Exactly. Some help please Punkers, I am serving an entrée of pate forestier aux cepe this evening. I am at a loss as to which wine would compliment it. Any ideas?

Now the Corner is working.

Fuck this shit Eric, did you read what Gobbler said about bananas. It gave an old cunt like me a chubby. Gobbler doesn't do porn voice overs, but if she did, they would be the best porn voice overs in the world

My grandmother used to say ' if you rub a wet nappy on a babies head, it will have curly hair'. Bollocks, I have always had straight hair, and for the first 2 years of my life I smelt of stale piss.

Yes it paints a pretty picture, Droopy sitting there with a plate of mixed veg, salivating in anticipation, and Ape at the head of the table, standing under his chef's hat, carving the spam with a very sharp knife

Fuck off and dine with Ape, he uses Tesco own brand tin veg, opening them with a very sharp tin opener. lol

The missus is not happy, she turned on to look at The Chase with old heterosexual Bradley Walsh, to see some new show hosted by this faggotty cunt clapping and squealing. He is now Rylan Clark - Neal, as he is 'married' to hunky Dan Neil. The cunts are definitely taking over t.v. and peddling their perversions in front of my grandchildren. Roll on a super-strain of aids, and wipe these fucking cunts off the face of the planet. Oh, and fuck off Rick

I don't know if this helps, but comrade Noakes has got a Renault van. So if you are looking for a cock in a van, you won't do better than Alfie......

Some of your clients?, you are on benefits you cunt. Which is it? Make up your mind you thick cunt. Are these 'clients' rich kids that you sell drugs to at the College gates, between signing on and meetings in flat roofed pubs... Fuck off.

It might be worth you applying for a job there then, you would certainly fit in. You could be on Countryfile, talking about angling, you boring cunt.

Not yet, and I still have a few million more brain cells than the cunt that is Pansy.

Ding, if you were to take your northern head out of your northern arse for more than a minute you might recall my family lineage. I am neither an immigrant or emigrant, I was born to an English father and French mother. I have dual nationality, and for 68 years on this planet I have consciously (and subconsciously I am sure) used this to my advantage. Par exemple, if when staying in an English hotel that has given poor service, I take a shit in the shower, thus exercising my Frenchness.

Alan Carr, Clare Balding, George Kleftiko

Let's hope he is being administered a stomach pump in A&E.

They grow to an enormous size in the Manchester Ship Canal. especially at Salford Quays. I think this is due to Manky dumping all his dead hookers in there.

I suppose asking you what your opinion is regarding French partridges is pointless. Fuck off

No he won't, neither will I. In fact we are all hoping that your bladder finally gives out whilst you are sitting in your mobility scooter. With luck the piss will touch the battery terminals and fry your fucking brains.

I used to Apey, but it went over most members heads, I don't bother any more. Facebook is more exciting now that Decs is on there.

and still selling the U.K electric, shite cars, wine, cheeses, and charging you to use 'our' Severn & Dartford Crossings. Yawn