Frank

Quince?

Alf, even at the eleventh hour, I'll be prepared to forget about all of this shit. You've practically admitted your guilt.. all I want is a simple apology.. a 'sorry Frank'.

QC, I have the hard evidence at hand. Has Alf officially appointed you? If so I'll PM you prior to the midnight hour.

I was referring to Alf. Shut up.

Can I assume his behaviour in connection.with his 'holiday' earlier this year will be taken into consideration?

Alf it's almost 10pm. You have 2 hours to come clean.

Alf do you remember poor Nick Drake? Here, have this...

As soon as I read 'your' recipe, I immediately thought 'Vivek Singh'. Cross referencing the bulk of your post on plagscan.com confirmed what I most feared. I'm too long in the tooth for all of this, Alf. Make your apologies and let's all move on.

You have until midnight to apologise to the membership, Alfie. I will print Vivek's article here on these pages, and the truth will be known.

https://youtu.be/TzMSfaNXYZg

I've PM'd you, B and D the column from where he pinched it. Of course it's not word for word, but it's blatantly obvious.

I think you might be coming to your natural end. Do you dine alone?

I've never seen anything so wet in all my life, Alf. I called you out for the disgusting plagiarist that you are.. dumbing down recipes from renowned chef Vivek Singh's Guardian column. Double deck reverse pyschology set you off into a spin, quickly followed by blind panic and no less than four desperate attempts to edit the above. Kill yourself.

Slightly late with your soft edit, Alf. Calm.. we're friends.

Yep. Morning Alf x

No, Alf.. copyright Vivek Singh's 'The Cinnamon Club'. Fucking chancer, cripple, and total dope.

I used to take my old mum to the Lahore in Gospel Oak every Friday afternoon.. just around the corner from the Royal Free. She always pronounced papadum 'pompadom'.... 'let's have 4 pompadoms, Frank.. 2 spicy, 2 plain'. Although I never once corrected her, she was one racist fucking whore.

You're a very special person. Can you tell more about the Herne Hill incident?

Wet this morning, Alf. I'm driving up to London to collect my new double monks from John Lobb. Jump on your Kawasaki and let's meet for lunch around the corner at Fortnum's.

DRP Alf. It's going on all around you, all of the time. Highy effective when used correctly. Good morning.

Basic double reverse psychology member exclusion.

Focus on the question, stubs. It's a given that I'm rotten through and through.. vile. I'm politely asking you be honest with me.. have you ever once found wiz to be funny?

You're a bright bloke, stubs.. save the odd typo, and you've come through all of this shit with your head held high. I'll take your advice.. what's the future for Frank?

Fucking hell, wiz. This is just fucking extraordinary behaviour. Tell me you're making this shit up.

Forget that shit. This is your time, eric.