Frank

Tell me this is your act, snatch. Please!

I'm not sure if I like your tone, Jackie. You come on here with your cynical views, bringing up old long forgotten noms that you know full well have got me into hot water. I've worked ruddy hard to prove to the mods, and myself, that I can be trusted and, at the same time, inspiring. Having said that, I must add that I have never ever ever... ever, crossed paths with someone as stupendously thick as Snatch. Apart from Ape...Ding...Gong... Wiz...Mike........

In hindsight Jackie, it was probably a little harsh to suggest that Ape was a flid. Anyone who can produce a gem of a nom such as 'Drivers of cars with misaligned headlights' should not be boxed. No sir.

Oh. That changes everything. Shit.

Fair do's

I remember when Ape first joined us. He was total rubbish and showed no promise whatsoever. Now after what seems like a fucking lifetime, he has all but dried up into a little creme prune noisette puff.. drier than gobbie's ex-cocksucking cleft palate.

You've got the family photo albums out, snatch! See... self-deprecation can only be healthy. Idiot.

I don't know about that, duncey. She certainly had a temper on her.

I've only managed the double once in my life, baws. I used to see a sweet Thai lady in Clerkenwell on Wednesday's who had the cutest, roundest bum you could ever imagine. I used to bang it until I stopped. She was double jointed and could provide a sensitive yet deep tissue body2body massage whilst having her face pumped off from behind. Can you picture that?

The most disgustng fucking thing with a gob to match. Still Ed, it's no use punching above your weight.

Maria Grazia Cucinotta and Nigella Lawson in an oral without double bukkake. You can have that for nothing.

It's those clocks. Shit.

Don't bother correcting this confused cretin, Scotty. The boy is so stupendously fucking dim, he struggles to avoid bumping into walls... let alone grasping basic English grammar. Like dipstick Ding, he truly is shot to pieces.. alot.

While most of us enjoy the extra hour snuggled up in bed with our lovers, you're up and away tapping out shit upon shit. One would think that purely, as a numbers game, something you write will eventually raise a smile. No. That's a super new avatar! Dope.

It's 'minkey' you rambling fucking idiot. https://youtu.be/Y9YViHbaAWM

You know what... I think you're right. I hadn't really thought it through. Good morning.

Thanks for your PM spot.. sweet pea. I'm loving this innings. I only ask that you allow me to stay long enough to decimate fuckwit decimus.

It's irrelevant whether you take it seriously. After attending toilets for most of your miserable life, you've become immune to cock-waving wankers like Wiz. Stand tall, Ape... bud.

Duly noted.

The use of the word 'prick' tends to suggest that one has been hurt. Using it three times in one post and you're probably crying inside. Mop up those tears with your croysainT. Cretin.

Alf, in the early hours of this morning, the admin boy rose from his bunk, logged in and called me inelegant, sleazy and pitiless. How do I carry on with that hanging over me?

You've gone to town on the thesaurus tonight, Clint. Not only have you abandoned the soppy hat, you've finally allowed yourself the freedom to interact with us intellects. 'Pitilessness'.... faux ponce. Now that Proper has become an admin bod, and a ruddy good one at that, should I assume that you are now double redundant? lol lol

The tongue/lip/teeth action required to say filet-0-fish is quite extraordinary. I'll give it a try when I next go down on Gobbies Sara Lee slice.. a poohey bloody creme de la creme. Try it in slow motion Baws... the F teeth-flicks off the bottom lip before the tongue rolls over the palate. The O pushes out the lips into a kisser then swiftly draws back to a tight-toothed grin as you shower the word FISSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH ... up and over the fanny.

Don't believe the shit you read on the internet. Ask me if you're unsure. It's a French word. Pronounce it the French way and don't be a fucking idiot all your life. If you continue to use different sized fonts and other fancy shit, I promise with all my heart to track you down and hang you from a tree.