Frank

Dingalong.. friend, Ming and I are driving from the Auvergne to Andalusia (Cadiz) next week. It's around 1700 km and we'll most likely wend our way down over 3 or 4 days. I'd be most grateful if you'd suggest a scenic route with the most luxurious stop-overs on the way, avoiding Valladolid and Salamanca.

hello?

Imagine those on a caucasian. Shit.

eh?

Do you place a modesty cloth over the genitalia when embalming?

Did you not read my post on Mrs Obama?

I was enquiring as to the whereabouts of Mrs P.

It's only dickhead decimus, Proper... a ponce of the very highest order. The cunt eats peperami pasties and shit. Ape's posts don't count. Night shift at the Whittington?

I've put out some classics tonight. Do persevere. Alright... I'll get Tot on the phone.

I can only imagine the state of your breath and guts... skin tone etc. Horrible little man.

It certainly shows.

... just to clarify, that's me on the left.

cunt.

Ape you can't surely be for real. Tell me there's a real person in there..

Paraplegic Jazz.. aka PJ, has been admitted to Dixons to have a new nose pad affixed to his integrated keyboard. lol lol

It's only a temporary position Ape. Sleep on it.

Bawsey?

Don't take it to heart minkey.. my tinky winky stinky tinker. If you could just open your one boss-eye, you'd see that Bill is really very fond of you. He's just a little timid. You may be oceans apart intellectually, but with his insecurities and your knowledge of absolutely fucking nothing whatsoever, I can see you both at the altar.... Bill in his rented suit and patent pointed shoes, you in your straw and poly fifth generation hand-me-down. Eddiwina and Decimus as bridesmaids, Jazz best man, Jackie behind the bar, Judge on the door, Snatch on banjo, Spot on bass... Ape attending toilets.

The old bastard needs those binnies to see the fretboard on his plinka. He can knock out any tune on that thing when his rheumatism is not playing up... so long as it's Mull of Kintyre. My God Snatch you're thick.. with respect.

Good morning decimus. I'm out with the Leica this morning in Vejer de la Frontera on a shoot for Paris Match. El Palmar this afternoon. Any photo requests? Life is great in Andalucia. Shit.

Any history?

Picture the scene dingalong - Bill and I on the Sunseeker throughout the summer. Fully staffed... Judge at the helm, Jackie behind the bar... Ape attending toilets. Whores Gobbie and Gyppo will meet us weekly in Peurto Banus for face fucking, Cava, jamón ibérico and other foul play. Bill will eventually kill gyppo by asphyxiation. Meanwhile, here's Snatch on banjo...

She's a very elegant lady.

Not at all Bill. I like you.. a lot. Every day's a school day.

'Never mind that it is limited to one word, spelled wrong (salope is by its very nature feminine, and so an E is suffixed you philistine)'.. Incorrect cockchomper. Salop (pronounced sallo).. https://fr.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/salop No need for an apology. Just accept it and then simply fuck off. Smuggy little tartée