Eric Cuntman

Used to read it all the time. Superb comedy value.

Bulldog bash by any chance? Did any of your stuff end up in B.S.H?

The fletching wasn't just to hold trajectory,it was also handy for pulling them out of your arsecheek after your so called mate decided to shoot you.

Only meant it in fun. You're one of the good ones. Part of my working life involved trying to keep 2 fisted it knuckle dragging Irishmen out of licenced premises. The infamous mr Docherty was a decent bloke but the ward clan are utter cunts. Met Roy Shaw once and he was a truly scary prospect after a few pints, even though he was knocking 70 at the time.

That's the girl, ya fucking dingbat bare knuckle gippo twonk.

Really not funny.

I thought I told you to fuck off? Hurry along, remedial class is starting soon, probably leaf rubbing or sandpit. Anyway don't forget your lunch money. Got to go meet Roadkill now and get her pregnant behind the bike sheds.

Seriously?

Near McDonalds on the one way system, right next to QD.

I've grown up a lot since I used to bully you at school,I understand that my unkindness has led to this angry emotional state you now struggle with. I can only apologise for it all. I'm sorry I pulled the tails off your "my little ponies" but you can't have any of your dinner money back because I spent it. Only joking, now fuck off before I hit you properly and leave your jaw hanging out the back of your skull.

How the fuck did a bunch of kangaroo shaggers get hold of your baby pics? (Pictures of Gurt taken in his infancy)

No Argos

Dinky toy steam roller, in pink

Seems Gurtrude and Gape have a little thing going, I wonder which one of them is frank? Or perhaps they both are. Hope not, he might be a premier shitcunt but at least more creative than this pair of fucking no mark playground fairies. Try harder girls. Here comes the next barrage of repetitive boredom from the spaz twins.

Jing goebells jing goebells jingle all ze vay, oh vot fun it is to ride in a panzer every day.

I knew Heinrich when he was just a nipper, always knew he'd turn out a wrong'un.

And pierrepoint was the fucking spitting image of Barry out of auf weidershein pet!!

Wasn't Ruth Ellis played on telly by that bird who was queenie in blackadder 2?

Innit blood.

I tried to hit "like" on that one but I've wasted my 10 today giving mine to EC coz he moaned that he didn't have enough, the vote fixing fucker!

See what I mean, total discrimination against left handers, if they'd had wooden grips I would have ground off that fucking ridge

It kills the brain last when injected so you're probably about to tell me not to bother with it coz I would survive anyway.

The ones I'm going to empty into your slippery love tunnel as soon as you PM me the address of of your loony bin.

No but there's a fuckload of morphine in the house.

Ratcatchers were fucking great for a jumped up air pistol with a bit more range. Isn't it a shame that firework manufacturers now put that shit in the powder so we can no longer split them open, pour into a crimped copper pipe and make bombs.