Wolfie

'Hammas'? Do they occasionally fill in for Hamas to launch terrorist attacks on Israel using a hybrid Middle Eastern chickpea recipe? Time and again you prove more peasant than pheasant.

Gyps?

A huge bottle of carbonated champagne would weigh much more than his effortless posture suggests. Perhaps he's going to fill it up and gas it later.

I hadn't thought for one moment you have a Geordie accent.

Clearly, I haven't been getting to you.

Undoubtedly. The weird bottom lip is the result of her Prince Albert penchant.

Have you considered dropping 100 ketamine pills? I do believe another idiot has decided to sign up.

The opportunity for us to meet in some shitty Premier Inn on the outskirts of the M25, in which Ape has probably showered, diminishes slowly with each of your posts.

All that's needed is a waiting list: thickos earn money and prizes. An archetypal chav family could become, say, £50k better off after taxes and restrictions, post-game show. Just imagine it. All that money could mean time to escape the factory floor to potter about. Is this why you've started commenting recently?

I'll wager this is almost identical to your last boyfriend's name.

Was this successful for you, Drew?

This quip is as washed up as your sense of originality. While you still have some life left in you before your tits finally start brushing the Antarctic Peninsula, at least try to say something amusing or worthy of stimulating grey matter. (Only an imbecile will now respond to this post.)

'Cunts who pretend to have disabled children', eh? I bet your parents effortlessly milked it.

*tiptoes around corner* Is it OK if I also post this, great musical liege and Bowie's best pal?

What in God's name is this? Worryingly, you must have searched for it, before saving it to your shitmania archive. It's just as well you dislike kids and dogs, which implies you'll hopefully come into less contact with both. Your status as the site's shit-infatuated oddball keeps on cementing itself.

Your alter ego has been getting another dose of Barry White this morning, hasn't it, 'laid-back' Pansybaby?

My wife coped just fine.

Is it alright if I post this on your thread, 'eavens?

I'm beginning to think his real name is Jacques Mioff.

You're not wrong:

For how long have you been married?

Good God. The childishly classic 'respond to this and you're an idiot' template. What an imbecile I am for falling into your cunning trap! I don't suppose a no-strings attached fuck is on the cards if I play them right?

You don't respond well to criticism, do you? It's no coincidence Bill, Bubba, Decs, Frank, Roops and myself seem to agree you suffer from having a brain the size of a satsuma that's been sitting on a Mediterranean window sill during a heatwave. To accuse you of having a bird brain really would be flattering.

I hope you're good-looking in the real world, gypsy, as this could well be your only redeeming feature.