Wolfie

Fuck the cunting Korean appliances. Fridges in Essex fart when you take your meat out of them.

Sounds like an evening in Katie Price's knickers.

I just seen you're from Llandudno. Was it you I met years ago?

Oops! I thought it was your mum.

That ought to be part of I'm a Celebrity's Bushtucker Challenge.

I can't see much Down Under either.

Out of likes? It's over, Snatch. Seriously, you've hit the nail. People are scared to criticise Muslims for fear of not only offending what is generally a very sensitive and intolerant religious mindset, but also for accusations of racism. The press would have us believe 'racism' is a very straightforward word, when in reality, its meaning is extremely ambiguous.

My apologies for researching such authentic stats via wiki before posting. I am going to blame a 1/4 bottle of Courvoisier on them, too.

A most accurate description, Tata. I'll bet, when the rubber-lipped oaf was making the announcement, he managed to cram in a non-stop five minutes about himself. Self-effacing, as always. Sadly, at the time of writing, only 6 of 42 have closed. Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm sick to the back teeth of hearing about this criminal's funeral. Had he been a renowned gangster of white ethnicity, no one would batter an eyelid. The mainstream press has manipulated the whole event to a disproportionate level, leading to the race card being played by much of the Muslim community, among others. He was a big-time drug dealer who was removed by police as a result of our country's law enforcement working as it should. The same goes for any armed villain who is a threat to society. I'm glad he is off our streets. Period.

Really? You don't strike me as someone who enjoys a drink.

Ah, the delightful Lily Allen, whose shit must smell sweeter than everyone else's. I am quite sure alone she wouldn't have been assaulted or even raped by migrants during her visit to the Calais Jungle, which made the inclusion of security guards accompanying her camera crew purely coincidental. The timing of her visit to the camp – shortly before making appearances on TV to promote other aspects of her career – was obviously a sheer fluke, too. The apology on my behalf, and that of my country, the crocodile tears... the publicity – what luck!

With respect, 'eavensabove, it is rather a pointless nom. That said, I once shagged a bird from Llandudno and she had the hairiest minge I've ever seen. It was the size of fucking Wales!

Indeed, all you did was provide a link, and I apologise if my forthcoming manner was received differently than intended. I was berating the BBC – and not you. Whether I actually know or not, and choose to disclose such facts about the BBC's delay on publishing the story, is utterly pointless. The point is, it took five days to reach the public domain.

Yes, Mrs Roops, the Beeb has published its Innsbruck sex attacks story – as you clearly demonstrate. That said, it took them five fucking days to do so. It's hardly 'news' at such a point, is it? Frankly I'm amazed the organisation's nonpartisan journalists had the time to write such an unbiased piece, especially as the story's go-ahead must have come through several different channels of typical BBC bureaucracy and editing so as not to offend any UK-based ethnic minorities. Still, to its credit, at least the BBC has successfully harboured numerous sexual predators for decades and tried in vain to lie about some of its staff's salaries and K2 tax-avoidance scheme.

Avatars can be very misleading and unrepresentative of how someone really is, such as the one Punkape has.

Yes, I think so Ape. We're not exactly forced to comment here.

I may have stumbled upon it accidentally in the past, when I Googled 'BT hub fucked'. You can't do anything on the internet these days.

What is 'Pornhub'? I've never heard of it before, and I'm too afraid of Googling it.

I demand a mutiny. I nominate Punkape for CC's chief site moderator and press secretary. Offended visiting guest: 'Dear Sir, I am most disgruntled by some of the comments on this most ill-mannered and uncivil of websites. I have reported this vulgar site to authorities, including police and the national Press Complaints Commission.' Moderator: 'I hope you fucking DIE of AIDS and get painful hemorrhoids from sticking a golf club up your arse. Fuck off. LOL. LOL.'

I concur. Don't bite the hands that feed your tongue.

The truth is, if I owned a gun, I would already have killed several people, among them the milkman who wakes me up every fucking Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Point taken, but I can't agree. Statistically, where there are guns, there are more shootings and deaths. The USA's varying gun laws (degree of legality differing by state) are a fucking disaster. The fact is the vast majority of police use their weapons/entitlement responsibly, whereas those from the public – Yassar Yaqub being one example – generally don't.

Why? Is he a Jewish history teacher?

Fire has to be met with fire. Sadly there's no other way. If UK authorities wish to see less guns on our streets, and police use less guns, they ought to increase funding for tighter border control, to help the prohibition of weapons transportation. Period.