Last Cunt Standing

Russian Intelligence are reportedly of the belief that 2000 French Troops will be in Ukraine before the Summer. A few weeks of instructing the Ukrainians in their fine traditions and Ivan should be in Warsaw by September. 

Macron’s played a blinder here.

2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Well Karen

Careful there Dear Leader, resorting to brutish sexism when challenged might be considered passé. 

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I fingered that Jenny Bond, mid-80’s. Spotless but a tad-musty, she left me with  a sort of yeasty yellow nail debris, if you get me, Doc? Post-coital, we chatted…pillow-talk if you will. Even she didnt bang on about the Royals like you do you fucking pound-shop Nicholas fucking Witchell cunt.

I’m warming to the notion you’re female after all DC, given your increasing fondness for the unsolicited whinge. Half the world’s banging on at length about the Royals right now, if you’re blissfully unaware of that on Plague Island, you might very well wonder why. 

To return to the topic at hand…83 days now since Katie’s last appearance. Not available until after Easter was the story…well, they’ve got 2 weeks till this unholy mess really boils over. 

The truth will out. 

5 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I’m female you stupid cunt.

And? Females can have penises. I’ve read it in The Telegraph. If you have come back as an XX genotype on 23andme though, I’d be tempted to ring them and ask for a recount.

Just sayin’. 

5 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Do some homework on what is and what was a ‘D’ notice, Doc. I like you, be grateful, but do get fucked and cancer.

“D notice” might have not been right without a national security angle. But the omertà in the UK media amounts to pretty much the same thing. It’s cracking though, it seems.

Get fucked yourself, and may you soon experience the terror of a rip-roaring penile cancer. 

On 29/07/2022 at 06:07, Last Cunt Standing said:

Well well well, the truth will out. Allegedly.

On the one hand it seems crazy anyone with access to Kate might stray, I imagine she’s as filthy as every other jolly hockey sticks type who has a vested interest in keeping her marriage going for the social currency. 

Yet on the other hand, it seems to me entirely appropriate that a future king might be a slave to the wonders of pegging. The rest of the country has been taking it up the arse for years. 

What a fucking shower they are. 

Yeah, yeah, not my business, Skippy, etc etc. 

Keep tugging those forelocks. 

On 29/07/2022 at 16:08, Last Cunt Standing said:

It’s all over the internet at this end of the world. I’m sure it’s all terrible gossip and a tissue of lies. 

Still, if only to test the limits of the D-notice probably in force in the UK, some of you might wish to check the following link;

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a27101934/prince-william-kate-middleton-affair-rumors-rose-hanbury-rural-rival/

A few appropriate Twitter searches might amuse some of you too. 

On 07/05/2023 at 21:35, Last Cunt Standing said:

What’s your view on Rose Hanbury, Neil? William’s rather fond by all accounts and she is supposedly skilled at the Dark Arts. Would she be on your list?

I clearly missed my calling. 

Well I never. 

https://www.tmz.com/watch/2024-03-13-031324-stephen-colbert-1792599-314/

4 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I put forward my candidacy to investigate this claim.

You’ll need a block and tackle, she’s had three kids. And Gavin Henson. 

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I just want you to know Doc that I was three quarters the way into one of my greatest power wanks ever reading this, and then you had to go and fucking spoil it, just when I was feeling the first tingles of what I was starting to believe would be a truly unforgettable tsunami level vinegar stroke. Taking such a cheap shot at me and all the hard graft I’ve put into calling out the insufferable cunt for as long as I can remember killed the moment instantly for me.
As you must know I’m not one to take things too personally (or perish the thought) bear grudges, but rest assured that I’ll never forgive or ever forget what you’ve done to me.

I don’t agree it was a cheap shot, Bill. Rather I was pointing out that I don’t have your undeniable stamina in dealing with the haughty tart. Your exchanges with her have gone on and on and on. I’m afraid I won’t be doing that, for as I’ve said, it’s like smashing your head against the floor. The floor doesn’t move and you just get a headache. 

I’m off to stay warm, it’s 28 here today. 

20 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

My main question is who gives a fuck about the entire thing, and why?

Some rich bint photoshopped a photo of her family. Why the fuck is this news?

Lizzie was around for fucking ages - a face the entire world knew on sight - love or hate her, you knew who she was and had some vague interest in why she was doing what because she was always fucking there.

The rest of these Royal cunts, I couldn't give less of a shit about. I don't care what they're doing or what diseases they have, they can live or die or jump off a cliff and I simply do not care.

Let you into a secret Killer, no one cares that much. Including me. If William is really getting pegged on the regular by some younger version of Princess Anne, then I’d say that’s pretty much what I’d expect for some Old Etonian wanker with more hang ups than directory enquires. My only interest here is the slight amusement I extract from watching the public slowly cotton on to the fact they are being taken for fools by people who are quite happily collecting the Civil list by the wheelbarrow load, while at the same time laughing from the back seat of the Bentley at the oiks linining up in the rain to watch them cut the ribbon on their dreadful new community centre. 

They’re laughing at you. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

So, what have you got to back up your claims thus far? Precisely nothing. The Kate photogate issue has become a big fat red herring. From starting off as a competent wordsmith to rival Decs you've become irrelevant. Nice try with the bogus analogy BTW...

Pipe down love, for Christ’s sake. I’m sure we’re all a bit tired of the Violet Elizabeth Bott routine by now. Scweam and scweam all you want, fact is you tried to minimise the story of the dubious picture right before it blew up and became lead news all over the world. Wiser, humbler heads might have taken heed and slipped back into the shadows, but oh no, not our intrepid Matriarch, who when she isn’t issuing corporate spankings in Boardrooms the world over is thumbing through her Rolodex and calling up the OECD to correct the footnotes in their latest press release. It’s a mark of true idiocy to be incapable of acknowledging error, your Worship. You know this, I suspect. 

As for backing up my claims, I don’t think I’ve made any, other than stating Kate has been on protracted leave from public life with the thinnest of cover stories and that there’s an increasing whiff of bullshit about the situation, coupled with a PR output that would embarrass a Home Counties Parish circular. William is oddly absent too, just as a certain Marchioness appears to be getting a run of puff-pieces in the press. Join the fucking dots yourself. Or take the red herring, fingers-in-the-ears, everything is fine view on it all. I don’t much give a fuck either way. I’m not @King Billy, I won’t entertain an endless dialogue of the deaf with a woman so utterly convinced of her monopoly on facts.

Naturally I’m crushed by your uninvited assessment of my competence with the language, and I’ll try not to spend the next few hours lying awake wondering how I can improve my standing with a woman so formidable in intellect that she’d happily share her Boudoir happy snaps with all and sundry. If ever an image needed a Kill notice, it was that velvet-clad monstrosity. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

AP have since done a reverse ferret and stated that "...there was no suggestion the photo was fake..."

AP's T&C's ban corrections including the removal of "red eye" from editorial captures though anything commercial and abstract is OK. This is the same with all Image stock libraries.

So there you have it. AP's (and others) accepted the image until conspiracy pixel-peeping nut-jobs had the image removed due to the amateurish use of Adobe's AI generative fill module on a family snapshot.

On a more positive note I guess we should be grateful you haven't blamed Brexit for the non-story.

Jesus Christ woman. Literally no point arguing with you. 

Can I ask what you do when you inadvertently drive into a cul de sac? Acknowledge your error and reverse, or loudly proclaim it’s the road that’s wrong and floor it through the nearest garden fence? 

34 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

As the site's self-appointed Royal Correspondent (and I'm in no way implying you're ginger), is Nicholas Witchell in danger of being replaced by you, which carries with it a clandestine return to the UK?

I think I’ll pass. 

31 minutes ago, Frank said:

What on earth is going on, LCS..

“Abdominal surgery”, Frank. A very credible story.

Surely you’ve heard differently on Old Compton Street?

8 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Its sad when one of The Corner's more lucid commentators goes into full-blown bacofoil mode based on nothing in particular.

As I recall the Place PR machine made it quite clear that there would be no running commentary on the PoW's health and that no public engagements was expected 'til Easter.

As for Mother's Day image this was obviously not taken by a court or professional photographer as the focusing and white balance is off par.

I suspect the PoW's did the visual arranging (by all accounts she is an accomplished snapper) as the composition follows the "rule of thirds" and her husband took the capture with the camera's autofocus switched on.

As for not wearing a wedding ring - so fucking what? Plenty of wives divest jewellery, especially rings when at home - me included.

 

I’m honoured you’ve come out of apparent semi-retirement to interject here, even if the interjection is to stereotypically cling to whatever you’ve read in The Telegraph editorial that morning. I don’t know if PR features in your list of many skills, and by PR I mean Public Relations, not any dubiously-acquired erotic skills you might have with latex gloves (removing a wedding ring is preferable here).

The media machine at Kensington Palace has clearly made an utter balls of this whole narrative, and even a retarded toddler would appreciate releasing a ring-less picture against a background of weeks of fevered speculation might be unwise, even if she’d just popped the sparkler on the windowsill to do the washing up, as all domestic goddesses might.  

However, true to form, the debate has now moved on, with the news that renowned Bacofoil-wearers the Associated Press have spiked the image on the basis it has been manipulated at source. I wonder how your formidable brain will deal with this inconvenient truth? I mean, it couldn’t possibly be the case that you’re being lied to, could it?

Lucid enough for you, sweetheart?

I’m sure it will not have escaped collective attention that in the latest Kensington Palace PR triumph, the Mother’s Day picture, Kate is surrounded by her kids but isn’t wearing her wedding ring.

Nothing to see here. 

Here’s a conundrum. Sam Kerr, muff-diving Chelsea footballer and darling of the Australian sports media, is currently in rather hot water for allegedly getting pissed on a London night out and using the phrase “stupid white bastard” to a London Bobby. 

Inevitably, there’s been much talk of “ladette” culture and why it’s difficult for a woman in man’s world yadda yadda. There’s also been howls of outrage about her using the W word, now countered by hilariously contorted arguments about how brown people calling white people white can’t be considered racist. This “power defence” will supposedly form Ms Kerr’s defence in Court, not “I didn’t say it”, because even this soft-headed Cunt will have heard of bodycam, but “yeah I said it, but it’s not racist anyway”. I’ve never heard such shite. 

The Cunt here is not that some tanked-up lesbian got into a fracas on a night out, but that such pseudo-scientific linguistic effort is being made to excuse the silly moo rather than apply the law of ganders and sauces. 

One for Debate club, I thought. 

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/is-calling-someone-white-a-racist-slur-this-is-what-the-experts-say/d2d974bi8

76 days now since WanK were seen together in public. In fact all we’ve had is this week’s grainy pap shot of someone resembling Kate in the passenger seat of an Audi.

Must be some fucking surgery she’s had. 

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Scraping clean your thrombosed fucking prostate with my bare hands as some leather faced, gravel voiced slag chain smokes in the corner is, surprisingly, not my ideal weekend, Harold.

Bollocks. I’ve seen Geordie Shore. You lot’ll do far worse to each other if MTV keep the Broon flowing. 

I see youth crime is also out of control in Northern England, for a change.

Would anyone care to speculate on the community origins of an 11 year old nicking caravans? Can we safely assume he does a nice line in sloppy drive tarmac or gutter maintenance? As for describing him as a schoolboy, I would lay money on him having an attendance record not dissimilar to Lord Lebedev at Westminster. 

Shoot the little scrote. You’ll save yourself a fortune.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/mar/08/police-stop-boy-11-driving-bmw-towing-caravan-along-m1?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Which means the Decs ID will be banned too. 

Has anyone heard from him?
 

@Decimus will I imagine be crying himself to sleep in the snow, having spent all day setting up his VPN routed via Kiev so he can get the Norwich game on his laptop, only to have a moose gnaw through the power cable to his log cabin and forcing him to miss the 5-0 victory he’d been promised all year.

9 hours ago, King Billy said:

It’s a hard one to answer for sure Doc. Sometimes when one is faced with seemingly unsolvable dilemmas like this, I’ve found that the only way to resolve the situation is to ask oneself…..”What would Barrymore have done?”

It’s worth noting that the unfortunate Stuart Lubbock was, as far as we know, not cable-tied during his visit to the Barrymore pool. In fact I’m not sure we can learn much from the case of a young father found floating in the small hours with drugs in his bloodstream and his arsehole busted wide open like the Japanese flag. Or, come to think of it, a Hot-Spot. 

Awight?

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

At the risk of being called a conspiracy theorist (perish the thought) I’ve been wondering whether The Vulcan’s very scarce appearances on here recently might be in some way connected to Kates sudden disappearance? As The Corners only (as far as we know) international problem solver, with a CV ranging from sorting out BMW’s electronic suspension software, sourcing face masks and hand wash for her employer during the recent ‘scamdemic’ (essential equipment for her duties at work I expect), and even flying in by private jet to a South American banana republic, with a few hand picked and armed to the teeth (Rambo style) Special  forces types, to rescue her ‘old man’ who’d apparently been kidnapped and relieved of his wallet containing a substantial amount in Travellers cheques and probably his Tesco Club Card (probably while he was window shopping outside a souvenir shop during one of the stop offs on his ‘Club 80-130’ Saga Cruise).

You forgot her dental degree, you misogynist prick. And the Mensa membership. Too good for the likes of you. 

9 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I imagine @Eddie's kids look very similar, which makes the situation appear all the more heart-rending. I hope you offered them your swimming pool, LCS – as well as some witchetty grubs and wombat from your acclaimed bbq.

Seriously though, one has to wonder whether he'd have tied up three white Aussie kids from his neighbourhood if he caught them swimming in his parents' pool. Quite the bully actually, and I think the whole scenario probably comes down to a question of their heritage and his attitude towards them. A stern warning and a few words with their parents would have sufficed.

My conclusion is wanker. What would your reaction have been?

Wanker is about right. Even detaining them temporarily until the parents came for them could be passed off as a safety measure, but keeping them there bawling away while you have a shouting match with their parents on video is a recipe for endless harassment which will I predict result in him leaving town. Unlike the non-indigenous youths of my 2021 story, these are proper little kids, and in humiliating them like this he’s given himself a massive headache. Cultural sensitivity training incoming….