Cunty BigBollox

No, I'm just considered a competent professional when it comes to things beyond my area of expertise.

I'm a fair landlord so I like to charge affordable rent (that's 80% of market value, if you didn't know) and therefore the profit won't keep me in the lifestyle I deserve i.e I want to carry on drinking Rekorderlig cider, not Woodpecker. That said, I have raised the rent recently so I've given myself the option of doing nothing.

Funny you should ask, but no. The stupid fucking employers agreed to 'pay in lieu of notice' so they're paying me to do fuck all until 23rd January. I should have a job offer by then as I'm considered a bit of an expert in my field of expertise and believe it or not, I'm a chartered professional.

With a 28-day egg?

The only time I want to see lead pipe and @Ape™️ in the same sentence is when somebody has carried out a real-life enactment of Cluedo and caved his fucking skull in.

The reason Blockbusters went bust was because more people owned cats that needed rescuing from trees by fireman, so they didn't get as much time sitting around on their arses watching movies.

Absolutely untrustworthy pile of shit government with this cunt at the helm. Who do you think was Director of Public Prosecutions when all the sub-postmasters were being taken to court and prosecuted without evidence. Sir Queer Starmer was a significant enabler in this massive miscarriage of justice and Sir James was allowed to carry on fiddling with flids.

I would imagine that if you performed the same stunt you would have stuck to the roof like an extra strong plunger soaked in gorilla glue thanks to your capacious over-stretched arsehole.

Did he offer to examine your prostate in the next secluded lay-by?

You've got to be cruel to be kind. The stupid fucking bint couldn't make sandwiches so he showed her a knuckle one.

Not before I sort you out. Do you want to try spilling my pint and see where it gets you?

How much??? You do realise that however much you spend on the TV it isn't going to improve the enjoyment of you watching the men on Naked Attraction while you spaff your ectoplasm over the remote.

You stupid fucking retard. Just buy a couple of 500mm long extenders and you can put them where you like.

A good suggestion other than the fact that within all these highly qualified engineers and doctors there are also numerous expert vets that would make James Herriot look like a trainee, apparently. Goat gynaecology a speciality.

Does anyone else think it's weird that a woman with batman in her name was once accused of 'Robin' from a charity? Fuck right off, cunts.

Oh fuck it, Happy New Year!, I have it on good authority David's middle initial began with an 'R'.

It's after 19:30, you antiquated AM/PM cunt. What have you got to say about that then? Have you been sniffing polystyrene cement again while building kids Airfix models?

Fr-Huw The Keyhole

No, I've got a brown one after muff diving a girl who just received an Alabama Hot Pocket. Enjoy your fucking tea. Lol

Don't forget riding on the back of actual talented comedians with the Red Nose Day shit.

Talking of act, did you catch the Jack Caroll CP cunt in Coronation Street last night - you know the 'comedian' that didn't win BGT - I guess he can't be that bad then. Anyhow, he can't fucking act for Diazepam, or toffee.

I sense an affiliation to Rosie's condition here, I've long suspected you're a dribbling fucking spastic too, can it be fact??

Well, it seems like Liverpool might get knocked off the top spot for the most 'Woe is me' location this year thanks to a tornado hitting Manchester. https://news.sky.com/story/uk-weather-live-updates-travel-disruption-expected-with-wet-and-windy-warnings-in-place-as-uk-braces-for-storm-gerrit-13038118 Where the fuck is Bob and Midge to organise a benefit gig to raise some funds to repair these hovels, we need to raise at least £120 to polish this pile of shit, in my estimations.

@King Billy thoughts?? and a pricelist from your dentist for a set of gnashers, Royal Doulton ones, obviously.

Fuck off Bloo Funda 🚁