Cunty BigBollox

39 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Blah blah blah - what a clever and highly amusing post. You seem to think you’re in a position to judge others, and clearly believe you’re one of the big boys of CC. I have very little time and even less inclination to spend hours posting on here these days. But when I see yet another moronic load of shit that you’ve drunkenly written, I will always make time to take the piss out of you. Lol LOL. Prick.
 

Those plastic toy helicopters aren't going to assemble themselves while you're posting on here.

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... Ciderman!

How about an apple-themed Spiderman-type superhero costume Drew? The missus is pretty good at sewing and earns a little extra as a seamstress. Ping me the address of your grotty little flat and I'm sure we can get something sorted. Lololol.

I bet she is, does she help you make the skin suits like a Fred and Rose meets Wild Bill psychopath team?

Oh, and when you say missus I'm assuming you mean @Ape™️ the manner in which you like each others posts, I thought assembling Airfix toys using his own jizz was his only hobby.

19 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

What value do you bring to the site, you silly, drunken little twat?

That fucking pot must be constructed from dark matter - black isn't black enough for you, of all people, to throw critique like that about. You thick, useless, irrelevant wanker.

23 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Look out, Drew's had a babycham!

Instead of pretending to be some sort of hard cunt, I'd like to know your thoughts on Boringland. It's your neck of the woods as far as I'm aware and my sister has recently moved there. From what I can tell it's only got two pubs, which obviously won't go in its favour in your estimation. But it does seem to be full of brain dead, old zombie cunts tearing up the streets on mobility scooters and I can imagine you hanging around the off-license all night and comparing basket volumes and handlebar stability statistics.

I avoid the fucking shit-hole. It was alright about 20+ years ago before the large Co-Op and surrounding housing development arrived. A good mate used to live in Forge Close opposite the church - his neighbour was that mouthy, ugly cunt that kicked a ball around for Norridge Shitty, Robert Fleck.

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Yet another original, well-researched, non-BBC mainstream media news link topic which the rest of us might struggle to find.

You pointless, lazy, useless fucking tranny cunt.

Wind your fucking hirsute neck in and contribute to the subject matter rather than attempting to be Ape MkII and attack other posters without offering any contribution or value to the site. Have a fucking day off.

On 03/01/2024 at 17:11, and said:

Absolutely, what we all need is a little peace, love, and understanding🕊️

Fuck off you Gay cunt, and a happy new year.

18 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Funniest thing I’ve read on here for years. Are you considered an expert in things that aren’t in your field of expertise too? You absolute fucking bellend.

No, I'm just considered a competent professional when it comes to things  beyond my area of expertise.

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

There's so much ammo here Drew I feel like a kid at Christmas. Nevertheless, shouldn't income from your rental properties, seeing as you claimed to be mortgage-free, keep you going beyond 23 January?

I'm a fair landlord so I like to charge affordable rent (that's 80% of market value, if you didn't know) and therefore the profit won't keep me in the lifestyle I deserve i.e I want to carry on drinking Rekorderlig cider, not Woodpecker. That said, I have raised the rent recently so I've given myself the option of doing nothing.

32 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

 

 

Blimey. Have you changed to 12.5% Manchurian crabapple craft cider following your recent redundancy payout?

Funny you should ask, but no. The stupid fucking employers agreed to 'pay in lieu of notice' so they're paying me to do fuck all until 23rd January. I should have a job offer by then as I'm considered a bit of an expert in my field of expertise and believe it or not, I'm a chartered professional.

53 minutes ago, Neil said:

I do like a flooded cunt

With a 28-day egg?

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Could it be lead in the red paint he uses on the propellers of his toy choppers? Perhaps @Cunty BigBollox might have some idea as he knows about plumbing and might have seen the effects of lead pipes

The only time I want to see lead pipe and @Ape™️ in the same sentence is when somebody has carried out a real-life enactment of Cluedo and caved his fucking skull in.

The reason Blockbusters went bust was because more people owned cats that needed rescuing from trees by fireman, so they didn't get as much time sitting around on their arses watching movies.

Absolutely untrustworthy pile of shit government with this cunt at the helm. Who do you think was Director of Public Prosecutions when all the sub-postmasters were being taken to court and prosecuted without evidence. Sir Queer Starmer was a significant enabler in this massive miscarriage of justice and Sir James was allowed to carry on fiddling with flids. 

48 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

Silver lady was a good one .Most people know this bit of trivia but I'll repeat it anyway because I'm a cunt .The opening sequence when David soul jumps from a height onto a roof of a car actually  seriously damaged his back and gave him pain for years .When you look at it you can't help but whince, you can see it's a really heavy fall right on the old coxix or what ever that bits called . 

I would imagine that if you performed the same stunt you would have stuck to the roof like an extra strong plunger soaked in gorilla glue thanks to your capacious over-stretched arsehole.

26 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Funny that, I had an Afghani refugee mini cab driver taking me to the hospital the other day. Quite chatty, turned out he was a qualified doctor. 

Did he offer to examine your prostate in the next secluded lay-by?

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Wife beating cunt. Fuck him. 

You've got to be cruel to be kind. The stupid fucking bint couldn't make sandwiches so he showed her a knuckle one.

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Happy New Year, Big Bollock. It's the 5th of January, have you only now sobered up from New Year's Eve? 

David had a drink problem like you, but seemingly managed to sort himself out before he ended up dead. Do you think you can sort yourself out? 

Not before I sort you out. Do you want to try spilling my pint and see where it gets you?

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I haven't spent £450 on a television to have fucking wires trailing all over the living room like it's some sort of Bangladeshi mechanic's garage. You may enjoy stumbling around pissed off your nut and tripping over things, but I certainly don't.

How much??? You do realise that however much you spend on the TV it isn't going to improve the enjoyment of you watching the men on Naked Attraction while you spaff your ectoplasm over the remote.

On 01/01/2024 at 16:20, Decimus said:

Why don't they ever put these fucking things somewhere easy to access? I've lost count of the amount of times this Christmas I've been scrabbling around the back of the telly like some sort of queer cunt slipping on a heavily lubricated disco floor.

With all the progress we've made with electronic technology over the last twenty years, you'd think some little Jap cunt would have had the genius idea to put these within easy reach instead of making them as difficult to find as a @Frank post that has made anyone laugh since 2016.

Fuck off.

You stupid fucking retard. Just buy a couple of 500mm long extenders and you can put them where you like.

A good suggestion other than the fact that within all these highly qualified engineers and doctors there are also numerous expert vets that would make James Herriot look like a trainee, apparently. Goat gynaecology a speciality.

Does anyone else think it's weird that a woman with batman in her name was once accused of 'Robin' from a charity?

Fuck right off, cunts.

Oh fuck it, Happy New Year!, I have it on good authority David's middle initial began with an 'R'.

21 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

You’ve been warned about posting after 7:30pm - this post being a prime example of the nonsense you come out with once you’re pissed.

It's after 19:30, you antiquated AM/PM cunt. What have you got to say about that then? Have you been sniffing polystyrene cement again while building kids Airfix models?

Fr-Huw The Keyhole

5 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Afternoon, Big Bollock. Have you got an alcoholics red nose?

No, I've got a brown one after muff diving a girl who just received an Alabama Hot Pocket. Enjoy your fucking tea. Lol