King Billy

Haven’t you got a geriatrics tea dance or a ‘old men in sheds’ group to go to somewhere tonight, you boring, incontinent old freak?

If you need any help to do the right thing before assisted suicide becomes lawful, don’t hesitate to PM me your address and I’ll be there with a lump hammer before you can say “Wtf is that thing poking out of my underpants?” Fuck off.

Merci beaucoup. Fuck off s’il vous plait.

Charlotte Mosque. 🤣

I don’t know if you’re aware of it Ape but Drew is fucking smashing it on here at the moment. Are you just going to roll over and let him get away with it? He’s making you look a right cunt tbh.

Thick as fucking mince.

I think Stuart might be Alan Millyard. I’m wondering wether Henry Cole may have got pissed out of his nut and crashed one of Alans motorbikes?

There’s only one person on here who’s qualified to answer that Eric, and she’s probably far too busy with loads of much more important things that lots of people need to be told off for.

👍

Where are you going to get your puberty blockers now that the NHS have been ordered to stop giving them out like free Smarties? Fuck off.

Idiot.

No.

Two tablespoons of George Best’s ashes, stirred into a gallon of locally made ‘bath vodka’ three times a day, would probably be enough to kick start Drew’s liver back to some semblance of functionality.

It’s hard to say without knowing your natural bust measurements Drew.

Saturday/Sunday?…..What the fuck do I care Killer? The fact that Fwank got a stiffie over this and launched into a tirade of vitriolic nonsense at me just persuades me to pay even less attention to the whole F1 circus from now on. Tbh F1 is no more credible or interesting to me than loads of so called sports that I used to enjoy, but which I now regard as just virtual reality fishfests, broadcast purely for the millions of obedient seals, sat wide-eyed in front of their 55” TV sets, enthusiastically clapping and imagining a fresh mackerel will come flying out of the screen straight into their gaping wide open mouth.

You’ve obviously never been to Harlow. Trust me, he’ll never agree to being sent back there no matter how hard the parole board insist on releasing him.

Can’t comment RK. Frank said.

Can’t wait to see the film when it comes out. I’ve heard the scene where your character (played by Leonardo di Caprio obviously) goes on a 72 hr. Diamond White and Night Nurse bender with the local lollipop lady (who never wears any pants) ,followed by a terrifying 20MPH + police chase, before crashing his Dacia Duster estate through the front window of Bargain Booze and throwing up.

The more baseball bat on yours the better. Fuck off.

Sorry Frank. I won’t do it again.

Frank I’m in The Steeles on Haverstock Hill having a couple of pints and a game of darts. If you’re in the manor (and not dressed up in something that Sam Smith would find far too gay) come and join us for a catch up. I’ve got to tell you though that I’m somewhat disappointed in your two previous no shows this week, so consider this as your last chance to put things right between us, or I’ll have to come looking for you on The Heath and bash your greasy queer head in.

This season is already looking like it’s going to be even more boring than last year (and the previous couple) and I’ve more or less given up on wasting much more of my Sunday afternoons this year watching exactly the same shit as the Sunday before. I used to be a keen F1 fan in the Senna, Mansell, Prost, Schumacher era and tbh I was a big fan of Hamilton’s undoubted massive talent for a while, but the whole show has become a totally predictable and orderly procession of super rich spoilt cunts, coupled with the fact that although millions of people gamble on the outcome every week, it can’t imo even be honestly called a sport anymore, when the results can and are regularly manipulated by team orders, not just within single teams but the satellite teams and customer engine supplied teams of the major players.

I love it when someone takes the time to dumb down one of my jokes for the less intellectually endowed members of the corner to enjoy too.

My father in law asked me one day why his daughter had 2 black eyes? How we both laughed when I explained that she hadn’t listened to me the first two times I told her to suck my cock in the car when she picked me up from the pub at closing time the previous evening.

I bet he really looked up to you when you went on a lads night out together.