King Billy

She promised to get all the caravans moved out of my garden and stop throwing bags of shit in through my kitchen window if I backed her up. Three more have moved in this afternoon and there was a bare knuckle fight going on earlier, which she won convincingly. I’m not sure if I should really trust her.

Only if you photoshop out the tree growing through the sunroof.

He left my parlour with syphilis a few years ago and gave that to Roops too. I don’t think she ever noticed though.

Aww...Ickle baby polar bear. I’d give it my last Fox’s Glacier Mint.

Mouth full of pussy?

He’s all yours. Put him out of his misery.

He might not be as difficult to kill as I thought.

Are you OK? You seem a bit tense and irritable.

Nothing compares to you Harold.

Would it be rude to enquire who exactly you’re talking to?

I told MC to fuck off the other night. I think he may have taken me seriously. Judgetwi could be the one to bring peace and harmony back to the corner.

So you followed a woman with a dog into the pet shop and lurked in the corner watching her buy a pets toy, then you’ve presumably followed her for a while in which time darkness has descended, observed the toy glowing and then hidden in the bushes in the park wanking furiously, watching her and her dog innocently doing what dogs and their owners have been doing for centuries? The mind boggles Harold.

I bet that’s the first time ever that the words Judgetwi and overjoyed have appeared in the same sentence.

You look great in that Wonderbra.

He is without a doubt a cunt of epic proportions, but his resilience is very impressive too, considering the non stop battering he’s taken (fully deserved) from day one here. Whoever slays him will have earned their epaulettes and iron cross with oak leaves.

Maybe he’s got the name mong.

I have it on good authority that Harolds previous incarnation was a cockroach in Hiroshima, circa 1945. He was last spotted in Tokyo airport boarding a flight to Cunts Corner with not a hair out of place, but dribbling from both sides of his mouth. He will be very hard to kill.

Stop fucking rambling.

“Does anyone have a recently departed loved one called Harold?” ”Yes Mr. Accora, over here.” ”Harold says he loves you very much and he’s smiling down on you every day.” ”Can you tell him I’ll be over to see him tomorrow and piss on his grave again, the cunt.”

Here’s that missing K you fucking knob.

You can be a funny cunt, more cunt than funny but you do amuse me occasionally.

Do you think this years virtual gay pride will be a pain in the arse?

I wouldn’t have been stuck with 250 rolls of fucking tinfoil for sure.

The answers 6. No point checking. Just take my word for it.

And 15 years past his best,(which was shit)