King Billy

And another thing. Last year while my missus was at her mums funeral. I decided to phone up and book a couple of prossies to relieve my feelings of abandonment and betrayal by my so called “soul mate” Imagine my surprise and, to be honest anger, when my name started flashing up on the telly thanking me for my donation towards the local womens refuge. I went down there fucking raging but to no avail. All the birds in there looked a bit fucking battered. One can only assume their pimps were responsible and none of them really did it for me.And to top it all I had to fake a street mugging when she questioned me about the missing money from her credit card.

My dad had a serious alcohol addiction. George Best turned down his liver, but that’s another story. He had the reddest nose imaginable. He never received a fucking farthing from these cunts. The whole thing is a fucking massive ponzy scam. So without wishing to appear uncharitable they can all fuck off and do whatever cunts do after theyve fucked off.

Mussolini?

Da da da da Da da da da The Adams Family. Fucking pervert nonce cunts the lot of them IRA (I’ll rape anyone) as long as they’re kids. IRA - terrorists or freedom fiddlers?

Applied anally by a trained professional

Hi I’m Barry Scott. Fuck Cillit Bang In tests 9 out of ten women preferred “itchy scrot-away. Funny they never mention the other one. I bet she’s fucking gorgeous.

Fuckin telly blew up next day though. Fucking cunt

My missus confessed to me once after I got her drunk and slipped a few Rohypnol in her Lambrusco that all her and her mates do all day is laze around watching Loose Women and Ellen (whatever the fuck that is) and play with their fannies all afternoon. So I don’t actually feel any guilt for phoning the tv licensing about her. I’ve thrown her out now and still got 10 months left on it. Whose the clever cunt now?

The 1942 Heinrich Himmler special edition Passat is now very collectable. It has a very fetching color scheme based on the first edition Belsen range by Hugo Boss. Unfortunately very few survived the war somewhat coincidentally.

Did someone say German queer?

I want to break free

Are you Khasim Kurahm?

The Home Secretary has just announced that he will reinstate her citizenship if she says sorry and stays with Anna Soubry on her return to Britain. Apparently she has immediately rejected this offer and her lawyer, (How the fuck do you have a lawyer when you live in a fucking tent, with a tarpaulin on your head in the middle of a desert with a baby chimp hanging off your saggy tit and dung beetles all over your chewed up arsehole and a wasps nest in your manky vagina) has appealed to the stupid sorry great British public for sympathy and compassion until her husband gets out of jail and murders them all. Seems reasonable enough to me.

Just behead the fucking thing and post the bonce to MI6 for further questioning. The offspring can be raised by scorpions on the local camel dung heap and when it’s old enough to understand right from wrong then fucking behead it as well .Its not fucking rocket science

Last summer about 6 carsvan loads of these lovely people arrived overnight about 200 Yard’s from me. It was a Sunday morning and I said to my bird “ Have a look out the window” Where? she asked to which I responded “ the rectangular hole in the wall. The gyppos have fuckin moved into the park. She stuck her head out of the window and replied “ Aww that’s nice, Maybe we can have a barbecue with them later” At which point, having lost the will to live I pathetically mumbled, Yeah that’d be nice babe and went for a shit.

He licked those stickers off

The conning pensioners out of their life savings game must be very slow at the moment then.

Trident?

I was going to buy a Labrador, but have you seen how many of their owners go blind?

They probably gave him that name in the hope he would be beaten every day by strangers, to save them the bother of doing it themselves. Hopefully it’s an idea that will catch on.

I believe SU also do a manual choke conversion kit

The French are not OK. They definitely a nation of cunts

Is it safe?

Again

I’m not a roofer but something doesn’t look right here