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Charity shop assistants


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In my experience they are either loaded and bored, or else they are there to siphon off anything of value to sell on, leaving behind the worst of all rubbish to be found anywhere. I have amused myself lately by leaving bags of things I know they don't want in their doorways so they have to do some manual labour shifting the stuff to get into the shops in the morning. Said bags lately contain audio and video cassettes (chewed up ones are best), books with pages missing, jigsaws are great, just need to remove a handful of pieces first or better, mix a few pieces with another jigsaw. I like to leave odd shoes, neatly folded trousers with one leg cut off and electrical goods that wouldn't pass a PAT test for nobody. An article of designer wear that I have no further use for can be placed on the top of the packed binliner just to whet the appetite of the goodies that are to follow. I haven't yet left leftover dinners or the contents of my shovel after a morning of clearing up the lawn after the dogs however tempting. Another amusing pastime is to engage them in conversations about carrier bags and see how many times you can get them to say the word bag as per the LOG characters Vinnie and Reenie. Great urban entertainment when being dragged around the charity shops by Lady Pistol.

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