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Cooking with Grumps


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Morning cunts! Today on cooking with Grumps I'm going to give you give you the secret recipe for "Grumps' ball burning beef burrito"
First thing we do have a large flagon of cooking wine, open flagon and take a swig to check its useable.
In a pan cook off some good quality low fat mince with onion, chilli, hot paprika, garlic, cayenne pepper, oregano, and salt.
drink more wine.
when the shit is brown, lob in some flat leaf parsley to make it look all green and therefor appetising.
Yell at your missus for trying to give you pointers and drink more wine.
drain off any excess fat (not had that fucking problem in a while cunt it) and serve in a burrito wrap with tomato, lettuce, cheese, hot jalapenos and sour cream.
Serve with a fucking great goblet of wine.
Realise its far too hot for human consumption and laugh like fuck when you feed it to the dog and the greedy cunts burns fuck out of its face and cauterizes its tear ducts.
Lob the shit in the bin and fuck off down the boozer for a bowl of chips and a pint.
Bon appetite mother fuckers!

What we really need to know here Grumps, is what you were wearing. Kitten heels? A white waffle print dressing gown? Fishnets, maybe?

PS one of my signature dishes is vindaloo lasagne. That's what I call fusion fucking cuisine!
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What we really need to know here Grumps, is what you were wearing. Kitten heels? A white waffle print dressing gown? Fishnets, maybe?
PS one of my signature dishes is vindaloo lasagne. That's what I call fusion fucking cuisine!

No such luck baws old son. Dribble dick stained tighty whities and a blue wife beater singlet, moccasins and my chefs hat.
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Just one question Grumps, when the culinary delight is lobbed in the bin is it regarded as hazardous waste. Due to local authority guidelines can it be disposed of in my recycling bin or do I need to drive down a local lane and fly tip it?


I find its best to lob it in the outside bin as to discourage homeless cunts snooping through the bin for a feed. Cunts will think they have struck gold until it burns cunt out of their arse on way out and they are too poor to afford bog roll. I sit at the Window and tease them with a box of tissues.
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Guest KuntaCunty

let me know your results fends. Measure nothing, everything is to taste.

 

I'm going to try it as well, only I have some nice pork chops I'm going to slice up.  I do have to pick up some lettuce, and other veg and wrappers.  Maybe I'll allow my wife the privilege of doing the shopping.  I spoil her so, she already gets to clean and launder and wash the dirty table ware.

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Guest KuntaCunty

On the next episode of cooking with grumpy I will teach you how to make a Vietnamese chicken Po soup. Nice n spicy spotto. You a vegetarian old boy?

 

Do you have any authentic Guangzhou China cat recipes?  If that black and white stray cunt craps on my newspaper again, it'll be the wok for him.

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Try to encourage her to eat more Roadkill.
Fox l'orange or Dauphinoise Rook are both exceptionally tasty staples,
whilst also being 2 of your daily 5 and for reducing cholesterol & saturated fats.

Rook is actually very tasty, but you've got to shoot them young. They were traditionally shot on May 13th, hence being referred to as branchers since they'd just left the nest but were still unable to fly. Not sure I'd try roadkill badger though.

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Guest nobgobbler

Correct me if i am wrong, your name was up yours on the old site ?

yes that's right 7. I had bother signing in i think coz i hadnt posted for 6 months but my forum name worked so I just went with that. A lot of the old members seem to have gone.
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Guest nobgobbler

Try to encourage her to eat more Roadkill.Fox l'orange or Dauphinoise Rook are both exceptionally tasty staples,whilst also being 2 of your daily 5 and for reducing cholesterol & saturated fats.

I went for petrol one day and the bloke in the queue gave me a pheasant. So I went off with every intention of creating some culinary delight. I couldn't get the feathers out even with a pair of pliers so I buried it in the garden and opened a tin of beans instead. Tweetypie's a cunt.
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Guest judgetwi

On the next episode of cooking with grumpy I will teach you how to make a Vietnamese chicken Po soup. Nice n spicy spotto. You a vegetarian old boy?

 

On the next episode of cooking with grumpy I will teach you how to make a Vietnamese chicken Po soup. Nice n spicy spotto. You a vegetarian old boy?

Give it a rest mate. Enough of this moronic shite already.

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Give it a rest mate. Enough of this moronic shite already.

 

Fix your stutter you repetitive cunt. Lighten up cunt, its all for a laugh. Maybe you could learn something and not have to rely on take away so much you greasy fat fucker.
 

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I went for petrol one day and the bloke in the queue gave me a pheasant. So I went off with every intention of creating some culinary delight. I couldn't get the feathers out even with a pair of pliers so I buried it in the garden and opened a tin of beans instead. Tweetypie's a cunt.

You're meant to pluck the fucker while it's still warm. If not, steep the cunt in scalding water for a minute and skin the bastard.
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Try to encourage her to eat more Roadkill.
Fox l'orange or Dauphinoise Rook are both exceptionally tasty staples,
whilst also being 2 of your daily 5 and for reducing cholesterol & saturated fats.

 

That was a tongue in cheek reference to not getting a blowjob this millennia.

I will get cracking on collecting roadkill and see how I go.  
 

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Guest nobgobbler

You're meant to pluck the fucker while it's still warm. If not, steep the cunt in scalding water for a minute and skin the bastard.

I wish I had known about this method of cuntcookery when I was going through my divorce. 

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