White Cunt Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Where do I start? Probably in a crowded, dingy, smelly supermarket, fighting my way with a three-legged, fully disabled cunt trolley on December 24th. The following day half of the stuff has to be dismembered, gassed and burned on time. Makes the stress of moving house a minor inconvenience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Why have you waited until now to do your shopping? Cooking is enough of a cunt without adding the stress of fetching the shit. I would be within my cunting rights to say you should be beaten senseless for not planning better. However, I'll leave that to somebody else, in the spirit of good faith and all. As far as the cooking goes, what would Commander Rudolf Hoss do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I have a glass or two of mulled wine, bung me bird in the oven then wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Gravy done, bread sauce done, stuffing done...... Veg to be done this pm, bird in oven tomorrow at 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I boiled the ham in coca cola and spices last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I'm off to fight the rooks for some roadkill! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I do my shopping for Christmas dinner on boxing day, always works out so much cheaper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I can't understand why people always wait until the last minute to go shopping and sort everything out. Here's a tip for those people,you've got exactly 12 months until next Christmas. Start now and you might be done in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Private catering - gf can't cook. I'm in charge of decanting and mixing drinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Why have you waited until now to do your shopping? Cooking is enough of a cunt without adding the stress of fetching the shit. I would be within my cunting rights to say you should be beaten senseless for not planning better. However, I'll leave that to somebody else, in the spirit of good faith and all. As far as the cooking goes, what would Commander Rudolf Hoss do? Sometimes getting home for Christmas means exactly that. Can't get a turkey on a plane, even with a full fare ticket. Unless it's Ryanair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Why have you waited until now to do your shopping? Cooking is enough of a cunt without adding the stress of fetching the shit. I would be within my cunting rights to say you should be beaten senseless for not planning better. However, I'll leave that to somebody else, in the spirit of good faith and all. As far as the cooking goes, what would Commander Rudolf Hoss do? Rudolf Hess spent his time in a British jail, nobbling porridge. He was a useless cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I get rotten drunk as soon as possible - usually wankered by 10am on Sherry and Bucks Fizz. Have some bacon rolls courtesy of SheJacko. Then get fuckin' on it proper like. A few glasses of Champers round the in laws , then Strong ciders and Jagerbombs are my lunchtime weapons of choice for tomorrow. Get dinner out of the fucking way (Loue Turkey tomorrow - nice ! but who gives a fuck ?), then we work on the home made Sloe Gin, and after that its a free for all. I hope I remember fuck all and tell them all to stick their presents up their collective arse as usual. Its tradition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I get rotten drunk as soon as possible - usually wankered by 10am on Sherry and Bucks Fizz. Have some bacon rolls courtesy of SheJacko. Then get fuckin' on it proper like. A few glasses of Champers round the in laws , then Strong ciders and Jagerbombs are my lunchtime weapons of choice for tomorrow. Get dinner out of the fucking way (Loue Turkey tomorrow - nice ! but who gives a fuck ?), then we work on the home made Sloe Gin, and after that its a free for all. I hope I remember fuck all and tell them all to stick their presents up their collective arse as usual. Its tradition. We have a castrated chicken (capon) from Bresse. It's special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Got the family round now - I do love them, but they get on my nerves. My cashews have all been eaten and I'm panicking about running out of snacks, despite the fact I've done £300 in tesco's this week. Kill me now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 We have a castrated chicken (capon) from Bresse. It's special. Tres splendide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Christmas dinner in Chez Doc usually consists of whatever I've shot in the previous month, so goose, duck, pheasant, that kind of thing. It doesn't always work out though. This year we're eating the pikey cunts that kept trying to break into my garden shed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Got the family round now - I do love them, but they get on my nerves. My cashews have all been eaten and I'm panicking about running out of snacks, despite the fact I've done £300 in tesco's this week. Kill me now. You can't love them that much, if they are all at yours for xmas and you are on here worrying about fucking nibbles. Just get pissed and tell them where the fucking toaster is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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