White Cunt Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 "...The population spends so long sat on their arse...." I’m not so sure myself. I’m more of the opinion that most folks don’t spend long enough in the shithouse, and are in far too much of a hurry to reach the wiping process. The shithouse is not just a dumping-ground. It is place of quiet solitude where one can sit and reflect about the more important things in life, such as craft-making for example. If your arse favours Izal, then why not use a sheet or two to practice your origami skills? If you lean more towards colour-shades of Andrex, then don’t stick to just the one colour! Keep a running stock of say Pink, Yellow & Crimson and knock-up a few dahlia blooms using scrunched layers of two-ply for the Mrs. A length of coat-hanger wire makes an ideal stem which can be cut to size and then arranged neatly in your toothbrush holder… It’s time that more people 'though't on their arse. Where else do you think I get the inspiration from for my drawings... ? Apparently a lot of genius ideas come out of shit houses and showers. Unless you get very constipated and have to focus your energy on your butt or find out that the hot water is all fucking gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 Indeed, as to why one should always install a "crap-trap valve & filter" in the 'P' bend pipe, and search though your sewage regularly... Why, even Green Giant Sweetcorn can be rinsed, time & time again, for more than just the one serving. Brony's five-a-day taken care of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 Brony's five-a-day taken care of.I'm sure he wouldn't bother rinsing it, just chow down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) I was told to take loads of wet wipes with me when I went to the Nuffield Hospital .. I did not use them but the bed sheets were getting really messy and smelly before I was allowed to go home .. I hope that this helps. Edited April 22, 2015 by Lady Penelope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted April 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 I've used 'Tesco Loves Baby' for years, available from our favourite grocers in 64's. They're pile friendly, but you have to dry your botty after a wipe to keep the hangers at bay. Tesco pile gel finishes everything off nicely I find...Top tip of the day there, Crappers.... for all our rhoidal needs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 Paraffin on sandpaper as a wet wipe is the only guarantee of full cleggnut and winnit removal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 Paraffin on sandpaper as a wet wipe is the only guarantee of full cleggnut and winnit removal. Very coarse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 The wet wipes do of course leave your arse and whatever else feeling a little "damp". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 It's the Turtle Head that worries the shit out of me. I am sure that I have seen "Turtle Head" on the map somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 At Properkhunt hovel the diet can be somewhat constipating. Generally speaking, when there is a touching cloth incident, dragging ones arse along the deep pile carpet is the preferred method of hygiene.My dog used to do that when his anal gland needed squeezing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 My dog used to do that when his anal gland needed squeezing. I love it when gobbler talks dirty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 Very coarse.If the piles are too painfull then the sandpaper could be replaced with a brillo pad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 If the piles are too painfull then the sandpaper could be replaced with a brillo pad.Memories can be very painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 I don't know what's happened to society... It doesn't seem that long ago when you could have the ends of your piles singed at the Barber's whilst purchasing that 'little extra something' for the weekend.Very out of date, I am afraid. These days it's crack and stolen goods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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