Private parking "enforcement officers" who can't even note down a registration number correctly, the utter cunts.

[Frank]

I received a rather ludicrous fine of £100 some time ago for parking in a deserted car park. However, I gleefully realised that the registration had been written down wrong on the ticket. I thought nothing more of it, assuming they would realise their glaring error, and not bother trying to intimidate me for money. If you're going to be money grabbing cunts, at least do it with some attention to detail for fucks sake.

Instead, I  received a rather strongly worded letter from them in the post. Needless to say, I have sent them one back:

Dear Conkai Security Limited,

 

On the 8^th of June, 2015, I received a letter in the post from your organisation, demanding payment of £100.

 

I attach to this email a scan of a document I found erroneously attached to my car windshield, on the 3^rd of March, 2015.  

 

The specified vehicle registration on the ticket is Yxxx xxx. There is clearly some confusion on your part, as my car registration is Kxxx xxx. I suggest you contact the owner of the aforementioned vehicle, in order to retrieve the money you assert is owed.

 

As I am sure you are aware, the Protection of Freedoms Act (2012), Schedule 4, Section 56, ‘Recovery of Unpaid Parking Charges’, Paragraph 7 (2, a) states that for a private parking charge to be legally enforceable, “the notice must specify the vehicle.”

 

Any further communication from Conkai Security Limited to myself on this matter will be regarded as unsolicited harassment. This letter is therefore also to inform Conkai Security Limited that any additional telephone calls, emails or letters relating to this issue will be charged at a flat fee of £100 per communication.

 

If however, payment is received from Conkai Security Limited within 28 days, a reduced charge of £60 will be accepted as full and final settlement. Failure to make payment within 28 days of initiating any communication will result in the full charge of £100 being applied, plus any additional costs incurred through debt recovery and/or court action.

 

Sunniest regards,

As if I'm going to disclose my name on this forum.

 

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Thanks for sharing your superb response Bill. Quite clearly a self-absorbed narcissistic time wasting bore. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

 Thanks for sharing your superb response Bill. Quite clearly a self-absorbed narcissistic time wasting bore. 

I'm surprised to see you posting on the site on a Saturday morning. Isn't it the busiest time for dishing out tickets to motorists shopping in Grimsby? You won't earn very much commission unless you crack on.​

[cuntspotter]

​Well your certainly not a junior banker are you?

I know a few merchant bankers!