Guest Manky Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 Picture a briefing if Corbyn gets his way over more parliamentary oversight for the Special Air Service. "OK lads. We have a hostage situation and have to move fast. The MP's are debating things a week on Tuesday and we will get our detailed orders when the Sun is printed the day after. We have the permission to put 3 men on site for a risk assessment, it is believed we may be faced with slippery tiled floors and possibly uneven pavements in the area. We have time to update our diversity training. Remember, the hostage takers have rights and we must try and see their point of view. Due to the risk of people getting hurt, we are issuing the new rubber bayonets but bullets are banned. If you shout 'Bang', make sure it isn't too loud, we don't want the hostage takers putting claims in against us. Once access to the building is gained, Cpl Smith will use his Foo Yung skills to rearrange their furniture to create positive vibes and make everyone a nice curry and cup of tea so we can discuss our differences with them. Now have I forgot anything? Oh yes, if you see any hostages, phone the Citizens Advice Bureau and get them some counselling, that is if they are still alive" What a load of bollocks. Our single biggest anti terrorist asset carrying out secret missions with only 600 plus politicians knowing about it. What can possibly go wrong. I wouldn't trust the cunts to hold a fucking jumble sale. Useless cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 Haha...the Citizen's Advice Bureau..those useless cuntbreeds couldn't make toast let alone counselling some poor cunt.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 12 minutes ago, ThunderCunt said: Haha...the Citizen's Advice Bureau..those useless cuntbreeds couldn't make toast let alone counselling some poor cunt.. I suppose they would be good at counselling dead people. I fancy some shifts at the Samaritans. The opportunity for mischief would be endless, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 8 minutes ago, Manky said: I suppose they would be good at counselling dead people. I fancy some shifts at the Samaritans. The opportunity for mischief would be endless, No doubt the Samaritans will be shitting brick clusters at the overload that might be coming their way...still chin up old chap, i will put the kettle on.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Your_Mum Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 It's not the fault of the poor old hostage taker that just slit a Nuns throat. Poor cunt was told he wasn't very good at football when he was 10. He is angry. Poor little cunt. Apparently the reason he cut the Nuns throat was because it reminded him of the time he asked for an orange and was given an apple instead. Come on, have sympathy my cunty friends. I spoke to Corbyn this morning and he agreed that we give this poor little sausage a semi detached house with a grant of 17k to kit it out with new stuff. As for the Nun who has her funeral next Tuesday... Well to be fair, he was very very sorry indeed. OR We put a single bullet in the cunts frontal cortex area of the cunts brain and feed the cunty cunts body to the pigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 2 minutes ago, Your_Mum said: It's not the fault of the poor old hostage taker that just slit a Nuns throat. Poor cunt was told he wasn't very good at football when he was 10. He is angry. Poor little cunt. Apparently the reason he cut the Nuns throat was because it reminded him of the time he asked for an orange and was given an apple instead. Come on, have sympathy my cunty friends. I spoke to Corbyn this morning and he agreed that we give this poor little sausage a semi detached house with a grant of 17k to kit it out with new stuff. As for the Nun who has her funeral next Tuesday... Well to be fair, he was very very sorry indeed. OR We put a single bullet in the cunts frontal cortex area of the cunts brain and feed the cunty cunts body to the pigs. I prefer the second part of your statement..but may i tinker a little bit and suggest that we feed him to the pigs a bit more beaten..a few holes drilled in shall we say the kneecaps and elbows..some claw hammer blows to his hands and feet..there ..i am happy now.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 32 minutes ago, ThunderCunt said: claw hammer blows ... i am happy now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Your_Mum Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 Good point. I'm liking the claw hammer to the cunts hand. I'm thinking, the movie "Casino". If you've seen it, you will know where I'm coming from. Note to self, don't forget the torture part in the next post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 46 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: i am happy now. That makes two of us.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 46 minutes ago, Your_Mum said: Good point. I'm liking the claw hammer to the cunts hand. I'm thinking, the movie "Casino". If you've seen it, you will know where I'm coming from. Note to self, don't forget the torture part in the next post. I have seen that scene many times..sometimes i have it playing on a loop.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 I suspect Bill will be sporting a little spot of pre-come on his navy polyester slacks in anticipation of branding you lot a pack of racist, bigoted Nazis. Ho hum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 51 minutes ago, Hokey Gingers said: I suspect Bill will be sporting a little spot of pre-come on his navy polyester slacks in anticipation of branding you lot a pack of racist, bigoted Nazis. Ho hum. The hostage takers I had in mind for the scenario above were all English, white, heterosexual, non-disabled males. There are no grounds for accusations of stereotyping ethnic groups, homo's, the disabled or Johnny Foreigner. My imaginary SAS team are assorted hues of Muslim homosexuals, each with a bit missing or some other difficulties. Sorry if I wasn't clear about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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