The RNLI - water taxis

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Seriously Ed, I've had to shut my geese in the barn to keep them safe.

They’re not fucking safe from your wrinkly cheese maggot are they.

[King Billy]

21 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Seriously Ed, I've had to shut my geese in the barn to keep them safe.

Shutting yourself in would keep everyone and the geese a lot safer. 

[King Billy]

At last Rishi Rich as he promised to do last year when he was unsuccessfully campaigning to be chosen as Conservative leader and by default the unelected  Prime Minister of the U.K. has true to his word cut the number of illegal immigrants/asylum seekers/freeloading jihadi cunts waiting for a decision on their almost 100% bogus asylum applications, and by quite a substantial number tbf (down by around 6000+). And our indisputably patriotic ‘British to the core’ billionaire ‘man of the people’ (when he’s not in Davos  gorging on Klaus Schwab’s massive trouser schnitzel or giving Northern Ireland away to the EU)  has achieved this promise by what can only be described as a stroke of absolute genius. Our genius PM has fired up his Carol Vorderman sized brain, done the maths and worked out that having an 80 odd seat commons majority just isn’t enough to legislate for the removal of all these doctors, scientists, pilots, heavily bearded 40 yr old schoolchildren, friendly taxi drivers/child rapists and its been rumoured one woman (genital mutilation status unknown) back to the various Stone Age shitholes they originate from.
And the answer to the problem has been staring us in the face all along. Simply removing thousands of them from the list of applications pending and hey presto/Ali Baba etc. the numbers have been dropping faster than a 14 year old schoolgirls knickers in a roomfull of middle aged muslim men above a kebab shop in any town of your choice across our green and pleasant land.

Thousands of these poor unfortunate wretches have simply disappeared into the wider public, and thousands more who’ve obediently hung around in 5 star hotels having their rotting teeth and any other medical issues TB, the full range of STDs etc. put right at our expense have been given the option of voluntarily removing themselves (not from our country silly, but from the asylum application list of course) and then being allowed to stay. 
I’ve been doing the maths myself and I reckon that 18 months from now there won’t be a single foreigner left in the country if the bone idle cunts at the Home Office start coming into work at least one day a week and knuckle down to save the country. This genius idea  could probably be used to make the unemployed, the disabled, NHS waiting lists, the prison population and a host of other problematic things for the government disappear for ever. 
Fucking useless square head, flour grader arseholes in Whitehall will probably find a way to fuck it up though as usual.