Good to hear from you Frank. I honestly don't know how you've managed to retain your residency here so long, what with my post being "particularly" upsetting. Nonetheless, I have since calmed the fuck down thanks.
As for my good lady, well no one will believe this, but after a drive to Nottingham (of all places), where she partook of an excess of alcohol, she got out of the car, fell over on her arm and broke it. After 6hrs in A&E she was discharged in a sling, confined to the bedroom and I've been her butler ever since. So that's some more ammo for you to hit me with. Lol.