Hammer of Cunts

Attention-seeking prick.

"A Met spokesperson said a number of children from four different families known to Webb had been safeguarded." A bit fucking late now isn't it?

It seems like a sensible idea.

You absorb a lot of jizz then, do you?

Wear a kilt, when you fart you'll be like a hovercraft.

On Your Feet or on Your Knees?

I suppose that one of them must be good at something. If they have problems with adhesion, 4" nails may help.

He may be thinking of Frank Bough.

Pictures of animals could be difficult for you; start with nice drawings of Lego houses with a big yellow sun shining. Have you learnt to wipe your own arse yet?

You're sliding back again... This one's just repeat shit. Puctuation isn't the preserve of such a "genius of the written word"; those with normal intelligence can manage it by the age of 10. BTW: I assume that by "artist's", you mean artists. Plurals (more than one) dont have an apostrophe (the little wiggly bit at the top); that denotes possessives or missing letters.

Until '96, I lived in a cottage with no hot water, no bathroom and an Elsan bog up the garden. The rent was only four quid a week though. I stayed for over thirty years.

That was quite a good one, if a bit contrived. You still haven't got he hang of the puctuation though.

Haven't you got anything better to do?

Any rural area, if even mildly scenic is now infested with these urban shits; locals have to live in poxy "starter homes" built on filled-in waste sites, the pubs are all selling wierd gastro experiences. Every flat in the market towns either has a little plastic Air b&b key box or is a weekend cottage. These cunts seem to think that a pointlessly large 4x4 is de rigeur outside the M25; we just laugh at them. Road tyres and no tow-bar? Fuck off. The Welsh lads were right about it fifty years ago (and they got what they wanted).

Some down-sizing wankers started one of those places up the rod from here, in a nice shady little grove. The bloke next door responded by performing various entirely legitimate agricultural activities; mainly chainsawing, quite early in the morning and positionig of a new "fertiliser" storage facility just over the fence. These wankers come here to enjoy the "country", so they should get a good dose of it.

They've already done that. The brunette looks a bit top-heavy, I wonder how she broke her leg.

They're more civilised now. They just need to learn how to use the facilities.

To return to the point of the nom. Aasmah Mir of The Times has her moments, despite being both Indian and Scotch. Across the pond, Erin Burnett is the US's least plastic newsfront.

It's not really racism to put this on page 5. This sort of stuff is so common in London that it rates as less newsworthy than most day-to-day events.

I'm not a (particularly) stupid man but no-one has ever made me understand, beyond Tory doctrine, what was the use of privatising and selling off our infrastructure. It seems now that, after years of neglect and underinvestment, Thames Water is going tits up; the business shits who have been milking it will not cough up to maintain their investment and the government will have to step in to ensure that Londoners will be able to wash. I'm sure that other companies will follow. There was a similar debacle with energy companies recently; greedy chancers had been bleeding the system until the well dried up and the stinking mess was exposed. Obviously those in charge will escape with their fortunes intact.

I think he bought up George Melly's wardrobe. I wonder, what is the Korean for "zoot suit"?

At school, we used electricity to make frogs' legs jiggle about. Thinking about it now reminds me of Johnny Halliday. I wonder if it makes their ballsacks shrivel up, it would explain a lot.

You're Irixh aren't you? Don't you lot just use dock leaves?

Why do females (real ones) need to have seperate maths competitions, are they crap at that too?

No, it's a bit of a non-sequitur to be honest.