ChildeHarold

Born in the storage area of an obscure three generation Asian owned 24 Hour Convenience Store/Cheap Booze Shop, somewhere between the Walkers Roast Chicken Crisps and Vesta Curry with 'Surprise Peas', Rishi soon graduated to the till, idly dreaming "If John Major could do it, one day so can I!" That day has come. But what he didn't realise, as Sajid Javid, an older and more experienced representative of the corner shop knew only too well, was that it would involve having Dominic Cumming's hand right up his arse, scratching away at toytown policies fit only for a revival of the economy of Legoland. Still the surprise peas were nice.

Who are you, Conan the Cunt?

Fuck off,,,,,, NOW. Stick your comma up your arse.

They usually pay me. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

That FBI fake director (after Hoover no US President allowed the Bureau any slack) has certainly earned every cent of his soon to be enjoyed multi-million retirement by stepping up to the microphone and repeating this ridiculous nom. China's inexorable rise to world domination is a WIN WIN opportunity for future mankind. So stop fucking whining and go with a civilisation that hasn't subjected itself to two world wars and a cold war in the past century and is (that's yours truly the Golden West) about as advanced as a slug crawling round a sewage pipe.

... while force feeding her a paella he had prepared earlier. "Plenty of saffron!" he screamed in her ear.

2 of the large ones, each cheek, or 4 school lunch box sized ones, not that I'm into that.

The best fuck of his life just went down the drain.

Aha! The Inquisition!

You are on fire tonight.

I always think of the fire buckets in the corridor and the crowd of kids having a light hearted go.

Couldn't wait to have a dig, ignoramus, could you?

That was already done in the 1967 War, confirmed recently by Trump, ignoramus.

What about Derek Guyler. He was a bit random wasn't he?

They always do to a very generous tax free consultancy in some despotic water cannon infested flea pit in the Middle East. Just one office desk away from a Kashoggi.

Please Sir can you fuck off?

OK make that £10 notes.... because I like you. (no apologies to Dick Emery's Mandy)

Good advice from a Cunt who's done more Re Habs than the Betty Ford Clinic.

I am just trying to draw the splinter out with a needle. You sound OK to me..... for a cunt.

Is the "better half" your butt cheeks you use to pick up £5 notes off the gay dance floor?

The people who award themselves chestful of medals for figureheading and laying the occasional wreath.

I would like you to repeat that while gobbling a plate of Prezzo's finest thanks to that gibbering monkey in the background's August voucher scheme. I bet the table cloth would be unusable.

The post refers to you. Cunt LOL. (and who uses the term "video it" nowdays?)

65K deaths and worst in Europe would be something to start criminal proceedings. But colonialists put a very low value on human life except their own.

By "I'd like get mind" translates from pissed chav into "If only I could invite the old boy over for a Devon cream tea and Full HD 1080p presentation of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia" with a prolonged intermission just after Benny mutters, "Nobody loses all the time", during which I will slit my own throat. Nite nite Stubby.