Dyslexic cnut

3 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Hi Ape, I'm after a bit of advice, is it safe to use water out of the tap to wash my car with consideration that it's supplied by Anglian Water and probably has more traces of shit in it then my toilet bowl after 6 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo? I will also add that the car is a Renault so covering it in shitty water isn't generally going to distract the attention from the piss poor French engineering and etch-a-sketch design features. Thoughts?

Otherwise known to you as ‘breakfast?’

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Ah chaps, how nice of you to think of me. Nice you’re taking an interest in Indigenous cultures. I’ll no doubt run into a few for my impending long Anzac weekend when I’m driving down to Esperance to fish off Lucky Bay. I’ll be back next week for a bit of snooker maybe. There’s a nice place run by Thais up the road where you can get a massage while you watch a frame or two and mull the old easy pink/tight brown joke. 

You definitely shouldn’t come here. Awful, awful place. Besides, we’re full. Bloody immigrants causing a housing crisis. Or so my neighbours young niece was saying this morning when she was telling me about her OnlyFans account. Seems there’s money in it. Half the world seems into it. 

Have a great weekend, fellas. 

I’ll be in Rome, Florence, Milan, Lake Como then over to Venice before heading home after a couple of nights in Geneva. Admittedly, not as stimulating as getting covered in dust and shite whilst fighting off mosquitos and killer snakes and spiders…but, whoever in Europe can rival the limitless stimulation that you have down there on that floating cow-pat littered with neantherthals tamed by a criminal underclass?

Do fuck off…you pretentious failed Brit.

28 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

😂😂😂

Jesus bastard Christ. Did this Corner big-hitting veteran just say what I think he did?

On 22/04/2024 at 16:23, Last Cunt Standing said:

 

Frank, you have achieved a rare feat. You’ve made me agree with @Wolfie.

With the ongoing collapse of Fiat currency, the capture of the House of Windsor by a death Cult, and the coming war in the Holy Land, I’m taking this very rare agreement as the Fourth Horse of The Apocalypse and have started packing my belongings into the Ute to set off to the middle of nowhere tomorrow. 

I’d say it was nice knowing you, but by all accounts you’re a bit of a Cunt. So enjoy the snooker. If you really do live with 30 miles of SW1, it might well be your last.

Don’t Look Up. 

How many days has it been now, Doc?

On 12/04/2024 at 19:16, Ape™️ said:

The number of cunts I see with a single bucket of water and a brush, scrubbing away at the paint of their very new and expensive cars, makes me shudder. No pre-rinse, no snow foam, no two-bucket system, no starting on the roof and working down. No - just a scratchy old brush, some washing up liquid and a manky chamois leather to really ensure the car is scratched to fucking pieces. Fucking idiots.

Fuck off.

I use a bucket of soapy water and my JSP Maxuum 4500psi water-blaster for the bare-metal finish. If its good enough for 60’ luxury inland yacht, it’s good enough for my 1 year old Bentley.

2 hours ago, peglegtwo said:

British people moving to Australia are raising the collective IQ of the population down there

A cockroach or @entitled little cunt would raise the IQ of your average Abbo…which says it all really.

56 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Anyway, as I was saying: Cambridge college returns 18th Century Aboriginal spears

Sometimes the old ones are the best.

 

When Christ fucked off, 2000+ years ago, he told the Abbos to ‘do nothing until I get back.’ The cunts took it literally. I can’t for the life of me comprehend why a marginally intelligent, medically trained British graduate would regularly fuck one.

51 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Lighten up.

Fuque off you French cunt.

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He's the stepson 

Is he ginger? Because if he is you're allowed to beat the shit out of him. It's in The Magna Carta. 

I twatted him several years ago, Gypps. He was pulling all sorts of kung-fu moves on me so I dropped him with a solar plexus shot. Crying cunt was off school for two days.

2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you want to have your points taken seriously, don't ask a question and then backtrack and complain when somebody answers it.

As I've already made clear, both here and on many other threads over the years, I'd like to see all of the Allah/Yahweh worshipping fucktards in the Middle East bombed back into the stone age (which isn't too far for most of them to go.) If every Mosque and Synagogue in London was likewise obliterated, so much the better.

 

…and the Barbican.

37 minutes ago, Neil said:

I can't imagine having to put up with a sock, I don't even like my own

My real son is an even bigger cunt.

2 hours ago, Frank said:

Considering the amount of time you waste barking at anything that moves, it’s no surprise you’ve ended up with a spoiled and obnoxious little Bitcoin shithouse for a son.

Buying a 23 year-old an air fryer as ‘one’ of his Xmas presents tells us all we need to know about the parents. And he lives in a flat, not an ‘apartment’, you idiot.

 

This retort could have worked but don’t ever start a sentence with ‘and’. Ever…never again.

1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

I blame the parents.

I call him ‘my son’ but the truth is, he’s the step-son. HC, I never even had the pleasure of shagging the missus when she was ten years younger and worth one…I just picked up the bill for the said shag a decade later. What a fucking shit show of a life.

My son is 23 years of age. He has an Honours Degree from a reputable University in Business and Marketing and makes a pretty good living trading Bitcoin and other NFT type shit that I don’t understand.

Unfortunately, he gleans all of his political opinions from the inter webs and cunts like Andrew Tate. In short, he’ll espouse any conspiracy theory known to man. Be it JFK, Hitler was a decent man, Putin is the kind of President that the West needs, homosexuals should be killed and he’d never marry a ‘Western woman’ because they are all ‘cunts’ and Islam has it right.

The last one is a bit odd in that he seems perfectly fucking happy asking his mother to do his washing when he has a mummy-funded, brand new and serviceable washing machine and dryer in his apartment.

We bought him an air fryer as one of his Xmas presents. When we dropped his fucking washing off last week, the missus noted that his air-fryer had not been used. When she asked him why he said…’Teflon makes men gay!’ Apparently, non-stick technology is resulting in rampant homosexuality and cancer. Conversely, snorting beak, smoking weed and guzzling MDMA every weekend is a healthy option. What a fucking cunt generation of ill-informed wankers…going forward…we’re fucked with this lot.

5 hours ago, Frank said:

@Eddie

Bombers... https://streamable.com/dfxupn

Frank. Tell me you haven’t left an exhausted Angolan runner anally pummelled with bloodstains on his Ron Hill shorts, administered as he re-hydrated? You opportunistic, squalid old-screamer.

2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Gideon Falter is not just any Jewish cunt, he's been Chief Exec of the Campaign Against Antisemitism since 2014. (In his world, "antisemitism" applies to Jews only, obviously.) It is evident from the video that he has set out to foment trouble, walking against a pro-Palestinian march and bumping into people deliberately. The officers were quite right to stop him doing it again, even if they didn't express themselves perfectly.

Funnily enough, Falter very seldom seems to sport a kippah in public, but was wearing one as he attempted to wade into the marchers. Must have been a belt & braces measure in case his big hook nose and superior attitude weren't enough of a giveaway already.

For balance let me add that I think that any pro-Palestinian marches should be napalmed as a matter of course. 

The bloke’s a shit-stirrer but now, the Times (front page) and others in the meedja are calling for the Head of the Met to be sacked. There are 46k police officers in the Met. They’re paid shit wages and they’ve always been the worst Force in the UK. Therefore, it will always have a percentage of idiots. One such ‘ mis-spoke’ to this conniving little cunt and now the Commissioner should be summarily dismissed. By that rationale, should a Hindu Keralan cleaner in a south of Dublin factory, move a Muslim prayer mat so that it faces west…would it be fair for the nation to then call for the sacking and public humiliation of the CEO of that huge international business and all round global industrial leader? @Mrs Roops?

28 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be more utterly shit, you pull this gem out of the hat. What the fuck possessed you to compose this travesty?

I can only see this shitcunt’s ‘work’ when I look at more worthwhile punters’ input. The question has to be, where are the fucking mods and why aren’t they stopping this site diminishing little idiot?

…and the blitzing of the site with crap goes on. Give it a rest, Frank, there’s plenty of exhausted young males, incapable of fighting you off around the finish line. Fill your filthy boots and fuck off.

37 minutes ago, Neil said:

He should have no problem finding an arms dealer in Lahore. Is one of the prizes a new watch? Does he chalk his chin? How the fuck does he use the rest?. The most important question though is Frank, how the fuck have you remembered how to create a thread after an absence of 5 years?

He’s been desperate to top the LB, Neil. He somehow sees that as an indicator of personal success, the sad, dopey half-faggot. Using the age-old and obvious tactic of flooding the place with shit posts, which failed spectacularly, he’s now spotted a drop in activity and launched his main broadside knowing that his piss-poor, crap utterings  will be dutiful admired and ‘liked’ by the pond-life of the site led by his unable deputy @Penny Farthing. The man, and his spastic cohorts are a fucking disgrace and I genuinely hope that they die soon and slowly because fuck knows, @Mrs Roops is not going to do anything about it any time soon.

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

See, that's better! My work here is done - for now.

I think you’d best take a peep at this grammatical quadriplegic’s latest offering.

2 hours ago, Frank said:

It’s a well-established technique in armless snooker throughout Lahore. Commonly known as the suck-back or ‘ واپس چوسنا’ in urdu, it provides very little advantage over able-bodied players. Look how he uses his tongue (03.12) to follow through with left side on that blue. 

You demented fuck.

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Come on OCR, he has a point. Its fucking dull and annoying.  The woman he's talking about isn't half has grating as  Terry Yorath's beaky daughter, who seems to be on every fucking sports programme.  

Gypps, he never ‘has a point.’ He should be hounded from the site…he’s an utter buffoon who, hopefully gets arse cancer, the kind that dangles out of his shorts when he’s out so that children can hit it with sharp sticks.

7 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I reckon I'm owed at least £10m in compensation because one of my very distant ancestors might have been forced to toil the land as a subsistence farmer under the runrig system, delivering 90% of their turnip crop to the evil landowner in tax. I'm not quite sure who exactly owes me that money, but I suspect it's Oprah Winfrey, she's fucking loaded.

What the fuck are you going to do with 10m quids worth of cotton and fried chicken, Bawso?

7 hours ago, Frank said:

Something's really off with the man, Pen. While I've had more than my fair share of highs and lows, poor DC's been down in the doldrums for months! Worse still, every other sentence he posts is cloaked in some kind of helmet metaphor.

I haven't seen a fellow member so on edge since the early days of Jazz. I might put him to bed over the weekend.  

I’ve cleared the decks for 3 days. Let’s go, cunthead. I can’t wait.

7 hours ago, Frank said:

Idiot.

You degenerate, utter site-trawling fucking spastic. What the fuck is wrong with you, you weird little cunt?