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Cuntybaws

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Everything posted by Cuntybaws

  1. By all accounts he also liked to shower with the boys. Blimey, you'd never think it to look at him!
  2. In all fairness, this is much better than "Ellon cunting John". Oi, Welsh Cunt, are you watching?
  3. Cuntybaws

    Tim Farron

    Let he who is without sin etc...
  4. Dear Mr Cock, I must apologise that our system was down when you called earlier, but hopefully our Best of Barry Manilow hold music put a smile on your face while you waited? Having now consulted our customer database I can advise you that we are unable to do anything to improve your credit rating, as I'm afraid that those sorts of criminal convictions are permanent. Furthermore, while we all had a good laugh at the picture you sent us of your genitals, I further regret to inform you that you are not eligible for PPI compensation simply because of their unfortunate shape. Sadly, you need to actually have an account with us, rather than a genetic defect, and despite your assertions otherwise PPI does not actually stand for anything to do with penis inadequacy. Yours etc....
  5. Unless and until he locks up that sour-faced hypercunt Clinton, I refuse to believe a single word that comes out of his mouth.
  6. Cuntybaws

    50th birthdays

    Day 3 in the Cunts Corner House, and the arrival of a new Welsh chimp has led to some serious chest thumping and hooting from the rest of the troop. The use of simple tools - for example, a claw hammer - may soon follow.
  7. Having first safely eaten and digested breakfast (this order is very important, as you will shortly observe) I then Googled "mutton dressed as lamb". You may be familiar with the old Scottish expression, "the dry boak"?
  8. For some reason this reminds me of the chapter in The Choirboys that describes "The Night the Padre Tried to Eat Pressed Ham Through the Wrapper".
  9. Attributed to the late great George Carlin, although I don't think he ever said exactly that.
  10. Cuntybaws

    Tim Peake

    Christa McAuliffe's genitals are still up there somewhere.
  11. Cuntybaws

    Tim Peake

    It suddenly dawns on me that Tim Peake is getting off a bit lightly here. Do bark strippers work in zero gravity? That's my nomination for an experiment on the ISS. C. Baws, aged 10 3/4.
  12. Cuntybaws

    Tim Peake

    I'm not sure I like the tone of his voice, Quince, let alone the cut of his jib. Somewhere, I fear, a Tiger Bay sex worker is missing their handicapped child.
  13. Just wait until you get a load of Ding.
  14. Cuntybaws

    Poor cunt

    Perhaps the only silver lining for a Yorkshireman struck down with MND is the consolation of knowing that at least no-one will hate him for his strangled, digragh-lacking,mumblings any more. To then deliberately choose to reintroduce this handicap is like looking a gift horse from God right in its malformed mouth.
  15. Your ability to home in on these cum references is quite uncanny. And just a little worrying.
  16. Cuntybaws

    50th birthdays

    Except for the "having kids" part (I'll give you that one) anyone at 50 NOT doing all of the above has wasted their first fifty years and doesn't deserve any more time on this planet.
  17. I was last in Stoke Newington more than 20 years ago, and even then you wouldn't have known you were in Britain if wasn't for the grey skies and the drizzle. I dread to think what it's like now.
  18. In this case, for once, you should feel free to break the golden rule of woodchippery and feed the cunt in head first.
  19. More like mordancy, but let's not quibble over trifles. "Gotta get down to it, Soldiers are cutting us down. Should have been done long ago. What if you knew her, And found her dead on the ground? How can you run when you know?"
  20. Why Decs, it sounds like it's only a matter of time before you start bawling that men can be raped too, and then this whole sorry episode might make more sense. Was it someone you knew and trusted? Did he even use lube?
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