Cuntybaws

They're not real Jocks. Half of the cunts will be waving Irish flags, the other half will be waving Union Jacks. I'd dance and joyfully ululate in the streets if the actual Taliban blew the whole fucking lot of them to bits.

Every time I get my hopes up, thinking that maybe THIS is the one that will finally surpass your "council cake" classic, but it never is. Ten years is a long time to run on fumes.

Plain vanilla fudge, or the milk chocolate coated variety? I'm on the brink of orgasm just thinking about the latter.

Blatant leaderboard manipulation. I thought you were better than this.

Deep fried gay bar.

Thought for a moment that said "Felch" and was slightly disappointed to realise otherwise.

The freaks shall inherit the earth. Not so long ago it was a crime to love a homosexual, now it's a crime to hate one. It's really bad news for victims of ordinary crime. Just last month Police Scotland said it was no longer able to investigate every "low level" crime, including some cases of theft and criminal damage, and yet It has (of course) pledged to investigate every hate crime complaint it receives.

The debating society instinct is to adopt a contrarian position and then convince yourself you actually believe it. If you can fake sincerity the world is your oyster.

What IS in those little boxes?

Yes, the countryside should be the sole preserve of sullen inbred Jethros who don't remove their wellingtons even when grunting their way through their annual 2-minute anal fumblings with their pig ugly cross-eyed wives, assuming they can even get it up for worrying about the price of cattle feed and how Tesco are cynically driving them all to the point of suicide. Is there honey still for tea?

Yes, I also dreamt that your mum pulled me off. You set them up, I'll knock them down.

You had more than one at your school? How frightfully multicultural. Nice to see Judge Masipa showing the early lack of racial bias which would later stand her in such good stead.

You'd think they'd be the ones who needed jumpers most, what with being used to the sweltering temperatures of the jungle and/or the cotton fields. The bone through the nose was an additional giveaway.

Bradford Guess Who

Apologies have been duly issued after parents were offered a choice of school photos, either of the whole class, or one taken before the special needs pupils were wheeled in. This is very unfair, because surely it is a basic human right to be able to choose not to have some dribbling mongs and ugly ironwork getting in the way of your own little poppet. I suppose that's what you get, though, when you're too poor to send your kids to a better school. The real cunt here, if you struggle through the tear-laden BBC report below, is that serial cock-sucker and jail-dodging slag Katie Price has chipped in to say how terrible this was. It's almost as though she's just a rent-a-gob publicity whore. Photograph firm sorry for class photo without complex needs pupils

When summoned, much like a genie, I am compelled to provide an oracular answer to any Corner-related question. (Sometimes I just make up those answers.)

I'd like to say I'm interested in finding out where this heading, but that would be a lie.

There are more pre-existing variations on this theme than there are isomers of decane. Several of the oldest still in the archive date back to circa 2010; one even bears the exact same title, although in fairness its postulate was different. However, much like this most recent example, it appears to have been written by a less capable version of Harvey Price.

If only Rod Hull had listened to you.

Up the arse, probably. You may be tempted to take the short ferry ride across to Raasay. Let me save you the disappointment, it's an almost-literal pile of shit.

The arrest of a suspect is currently a rolling headline on the Sky News channel. No way of telling whether they've got the right one, though, as they all look very much the same.

"Like" duly awarded for this bit alone.

You haven't seen Ms. Marvel, then? Lucky cunt!

Ah, they say, it may all be bollocks but it gives people comfort and a sense of belonging and purpose. Stupid fucking cunts. I suppose its one advantage is that when hard-of-thinking bigots armed with semi-automatic weapons decide to go on a killing spree, they can easily find the cunts all gathered together in their synagogue/mosque/church. (Delete as appropriate.) Easy targets. I wish this was a documentary:

Falafel's where it's at these days.