camberwell gypsy

Did you use lime like I told you to?* *As seen in Esmie's Gypsy Lifestyle, chapter 3; Dead body disposal.

Yeah I told Stella off about that.

If ever I'm round your gaff and feel the need to do an evacuation, I'll shit in your cistern (top decking I believe it's called). You won't even know I've been. Until you flush of course.

Oh fuck off

Thank you. I've just spat a mouthful of cabernet over my Laura Ashley summer frock.

And..why not?

Anally. And it was 3mg every 100 minutes.

Are you here all week?

I remember sitting in some shit pub during my 'dark days'. There was about 4 people, all blokes 70+ in age, flat caps, smoking woodbines and drinking pints of light and keg or mild. There was a Fellini film on the TV and in silence everyone watched it. When it finished one of the old boys asked "Who made that film"? I told him it was Frederico Fellini to which he replied "Well, he's a cunt". He picked up his tin of baccy, drank the dregs and fucked off. I sometimes think that I was in the presence of the world's greatest film critic.

Is this the "Racist dyslexic" thread?

Scarp merchants?

I tried to get serial convict and headcase Charles Bronson to introduce this one but he told me to "fuck off you cunt". You don't get gentleman like that anymore.

And the red. You may need to add some spice to mask the bitterness

Look for squirrel recipes in my book "Esmie's Gypsy lifestyle"*. It has recipes for Jugged squirrel, squirrel tail soup and squirrel pasty. Along with hints and tips on spraying stolen bicycles, staying safe when stripping lead from church roofs, how to lift gypsy curses and conning the public out of money with fortune telling bollocks, and so much more. With a foreword from the legendary David Essex. *Available from all good book stores (and quite a few shit ones as well).

I think the poor girl needs the toilet.

I once saw Gladys Pip and her Knights at the village hall, Belper. Fucking useless they were.

That bad eh?

Good job I'm not a nurse then, innit?

Is all this the same as your golf course: make believe?

I'm sure the nurse will bear that in mind when she has to clean the shit off of your arse and put a fresh nappy on you, when you lose control of your bowels.

Were you talking about people living in the flats that aren't the same people on the rent book? Because if you are, you are correct.It's the oldest trick in the book. Apparently someone's moving out, sometimes back to Africa or India, and they sell the rent Book for a few hundred quid. That's what I heard was happening years ago. Whether it still happens I dunno

This is the last vision Frank had before Roops put a cap in his ass!

She wants to come back to Chatham???? Fucking hell, she really is screwed up.

These type of parents don't let their kids have ice cream because they believe the sugar content makes me them hyperactive. So what excuse they have for them flying around like they're on LSD is anybody's guess

It's when the little fuckers run around and under the tables causing mayhem, ruining everyone's meal, and the twat parents not stopping them because they believe it's natural, that bends my piss.