Oh I've had that:
"Coffee please"
"Yes madam, what type"?
"Er....ordinary coffee please".
"Latte, cappacino, espresso, Americano, cortado"?
"I just want an ordinary coffee"
"I can do you an americano with a splash of milk".
"Is that ordinary coffee"?
"I guess"!
"Great, I'll have one of those".
"Certainly madam. Primo, medio, Massimo"?
"Fuck off. Just fuck off".