camberwell gypsy

I love Toyah Willcox. I read her autobiography 'Living out loud'. She wasn't dealt a great hand. She was born with scoliosis (twisted spine), claw feet, club foot and a speech impediment and was bullied for it. Ok so her music wasn't great but the sheer hard work she put in to her career puts these whiny cunts who go on X Factor, expecting everything to fall into their laps, to shame. Anyway where were we? Oh yes, I want to Pull down the abattoirs and all that's obscene.

I've heard about you after a few lagers, crawling through the alleyways being very loud

Very good

So if they left it unlocked, why the fuck did Gerry baby say that the abductors broke in? As a certain ginger singer with a lisp once sang; "It's a mystery oh it's a mystery, I'm still searching for a clue". I'll get me Deerstalker and magnifying glass

Aren't there further elections coming up in France?

I bought a cloning set off Amazon. There are now 58 replicas of me running a fairground in Canvey Island

Good. I need a rest

Didn't the parents say initially, that they locked all the doors behind them and then changed their minds and said they left the door unlocked when it was proved that there was no evidence of a break in? Or am I getting confused?

On the other side of the coin; coming back down the motorway today, some cunt in a black Porsche came hurtling down the inside lane, undertaking, swerving across each lane doing at least 95mph, and flashing cars in the fast lane because they were holding him up. So it was great to get to the services to see the greasy cunt being booked by the traffic cops. Going as fast as he was he'd probably get a lengthy ban.

Mon dieu

Japanese and Korean cars are the best. Even I can change a bulb in them. I owned a Renault Espace years ago from brand new. After just 1000 miles on the clock, the electrics started playing up. Fucking useless are french cars.

Google it

The Renault 5 was shit as well.

Cadmium is a bit nasty as well.

This high five crap does get on my wick. But what's just as bad is people who call everyone "guys", as in "Ok guys, let's go", even if it's females or children they are addressing. Also cunts who say "Oh cool" when they hear something they agree with. This is made more annoying when it comes from somebody older than 20. I'm sure I'll think of other things that freeze my piss.

Cut out all that crap and just stab them for god sake. You're not in a fucking Benny Hill show.

Lol

Don't get me talking about Mary Poppins and the London Eye

Handy for running out of restaurants without paying eh?

I don't wear trainers. I drive everywhere

You need a different type of bamboo. The stuff I've got is excellent. Let me have a look at its name......er.......oh yes here we are. It's called Wopbapaloobopawop bamboo. Its Latin name is Richardus Littlus.

I've had that as well. When I ask them why they need my number I get "just in case we need to call you". When I ask why they would need to call me they say "Er... We may need to". Yeah fuck right off.

Can she get Canal+ on that?

Fair point well made

Fuck off Neil; I'm expecting his next payment tomorrow. Keep it shtumm, and there'll be a drink in it for you.