camberwell gypsy

Masai Graham? I've heard of Wog Richards (before anybody accuses me of racism, he did exist) the intrepid explorer in Tanganyika

They liked rounding up women and fucking lynching them for being so called collaborators when the Germans were kicked out. Not much cop fighting men but real hard bastards against women.

Noticed? There was a fucking stampede. Nearly knocked the Singapore sling from my hand.

Couple of her pork pies would have done the trick

Couple of her pork pies would have done the trick

The French can fucking talk. No way did their boxer beat ours in the final.

Your coat sir?

You can take a speeding lorry out with one of her Yorkshires. I use one as paperweight

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I've woke up on a golf course.

Was it you who shit in the kiddies paddling pool here in Madeira?

There's a nightclub here in Funchal called 'Scat night club'. Just saying.

Round here it's 3 blokes in hi viz vests watching 1 bloke dig a hole.

He reckons it wasn't. Oliver Reed bumped into Marvin in LA. They had a drinking contest at the hotel bar and Reed liked the velvet cloak Lee Marvin was wearing and it was agreed that Reed could have it if he won. Marvin slid under the table after Christ knows how many bourbons was consumed and Reed swished his way out of the hotel resplendent in a swank velvet cloak.

You forgot Gripping shafts

Golf's for irons

Is that Aloe Vera?

I read that when filming The Wild Geese, himself Burton and Harris would drink like maniacs. Next morning the Richards looked like death warmed up, but Roger Moore looked like he'd gone to bed early with a mug of Horlicks.

A load of bollocks

It's like that absurd saying "choked in a pool of his own vomit". Why the fuck would you have a pool full of vomit?

Is that Ron McKintosh the boxing commentator?

I propose Tom Hardy.

.....you sure it wasn't you? Oh that's fucking nice Ding. If I wasn't a lady I'd call you a cunt. But I'll let someone else call you it.

Depends if God wanted 2 pints of semi skimmed.

I can't pronounce his fucking name let alone what he is. Is he portuguese as I'm in Madeira at the moment. I got dirty looks for laughing when the cable car carrying us up some fucking hill went over the chard remains of some village.