Decimus

Nothing farcical about it. You both spout boring, incomprehensible shite so it makes sense that you would rate him.

You seem to be obsessed with cocks and dogs. I don't hate you, but i am disgusted by your depravity. As for originality, the old ones are the best where you are concerned. Why waste time pandering to your homosexual, sadomasochist tendencies by describing inventive ways in which you can harm yourself? I'd rather you just killed yourself quick smart and got it out the way.

My favourite Christmas song is jingle bells, as I like to imagine that the bells jingling are the ones on your Christmas tree as you hang yourself.

Still alive, Wotakunt? Guess I couldn't get everything I wanted for Christmas.

Delboy my son, don't tell me that prior to this shite nom you were labouring under the misapprehension that Frank was able to count.You give him too much credit.

No amount of divine intervention will change Frank's penchant for homosexual deviancy. Sorry to disappoint, Spot.

Lock yourself in your priest hole and set yourself alight. Pope loving prick.

You papist, northern cunt. You'd frown upon any unmarried woman in service. Choke on the Eucharistic and then burn yourself as a heretic.

I don't know where you eat, cunt. But they don't serve shit where I eat. I hope you get cholera.

So, you're a minimum wage waitress, who's also probably raking it in through tax credits because you have numerous different coloured children. You couldn't be arsed to study at school as you were too busy dishing out handjobs at the back of class and drinking barley wine behind the bike shed. Your life has been a spectacular fucking failure and you are generally a drain on society and a massive cunt. In my opinion you should be forced to undergo sterilisation, and your children deported to Honduras. Your job is to bring me food cooked by someone else, that I've paid through the nose for, and if you happen to be good looking, to flash me a bit of cleavage. In short, you carry stuff. So why in God's name, would I feel fucking obliged to tip you? You're being paid anyway, I've already paid for it, and I could train a fucking chimpanzee to do your no skill fucking job. So wipe the sour look off your fucking face when you look at your empty saucer and go on the fucking game if you want a few extra quid here and there. And the fucking cunt delivery driver from my local Chinese can go fuck himself too.

As was Winnie Mandela.

I dunno, Tom Jones stopped us from killing each other.

Fuck off

You've had more id's than you've had semi hard cock.

I was hoping they'd just hang him, full stop.

Wait until the buses start running again, then throw yourself under one.

More like Bert and Ernie. I hope that whilst playing hide the sausage you fucking choke to death on it.

I'll read it back if you promise to start at number three simultaneously and immediately.

She used to clean the toilets in Frank's communal bedsit. Frank managed a full blown erection for the first and last time ever, thirty odd years ago and fathered that retard Jade.

They can indeed fuck off stubbers. This new England has no place for haggis, leeks or Buckfast. England should go it alone, we are what holds the union together and if it wasn't for us the UK would struggle to match the likes of Albania and Slovakia.

Your top three should be: 1: Run a hot bath. I realise that your bedsit must have limited supplies, but I promise you won't need much. 2: Say your goodbyes to the maximum of two people you know in the real world. The local parole officer who specialises in sex offender cases and your good friend Jonathan King. 3: Slit your wrists and slowly bleed to death.

Fuck it, I'm a republican. It used to be a dirty word but I'm out and proud. It is fucking embarrassing that our head of state is unelected, hereditary and German. The upper house of our govt is similarly unelected and packed full of descendants of the Norman conquest. We are one of the most racist and xenophobic countries in Europe, blaming every social Ill on a small foreign minority. Fuck it, let's look at the real oppression. Norman-French and German descendants lording it over us. Well fuck them and anyone who condones their system. This is fucking England, Be proud of it, and yourselves because we are what makes it great.

Franco, you pissed soaked, old cunt. I suggest goose fat for your potatoes today. Pop them in on a high heat and get the crispy finish you deserve. Take a bite and savour. I will pray that the hard, crispy crusts cut an artery on the way down and you die of internal bleeding. Have a lovely day

I agree, Cats are fickle creatures.

I'd like to marry a paranoid Schizophrenic. Then I would buy her a 4x4 with bull bars for Christmas. Finally I'd tell her Frank had been watching her and wanted to steal her knickers. Finally I'd disclose his location, and lie back and watch as she ran over his greasy, kebab munching head.... Buying a car for your spouse ain't so bad.