Decimus

True story... When I was a student with his own front door living the Stickers dream, I pissed in the shared washing up liquid after a night on the sauce. Those dirty fucks didn't even notice and it was used until it ran dry. Of course I never ate anything that wasn't on a paper plate or out of newspaper, so I was alright. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you live like a fucking pig you can't complain when some cunt pisses in your sink.

As much as I appreciate the invite to dine with you, Aitch, I'm afraid that I'm Crayola intolerant so will have to give it a miss.

Aitch, you come across like the sort of cunt who only ever washes his cock in the sink, and bi-annually at that.

Another race grifter looking to capitalise on the old "Black can do no wrong" card. I don't live in London, but I can't imagine anyone driving from Maida Vale into The City, not if they wanted to arrive there anytime time this century. So if the tube is a quicker and more efficient route, why is she claiming she can't use it? Surely it's not in case she gets recognised as a 'sleb? I wouldn't be able to differentiate between Denzel Washington and the vast majority of apes who stink the underground up, so she's clutching at straws if she thinks anyone would be able to pick an absolute fucking nonentity such as herself out of a crowd of enraged silverbacks.

The House of Jollof. JOLLOF.

Here's hoping you enjoy your Christmas feast of a thoroughly buggered miniature goose with coal dust stuffing, you bankrupt, Bob Cratchett cunt.

The dog fucking is his main personality trait, but he's also a Jew who supports the far right, so he's a total fucking idiot to boot. Good luck with the molly binge, just make sure Gareth keeps tabs on you so you don't end up doing a Corrie McKeague. I've got my Christmas work party this week and have some acid and bugle lined up. If you're lucky I may log in and pen the next instalment of 'A Haunting in Norfolk' in-between lines. Perhaps you can do me a theme tune? A Dallas title music, Jungle remix would be appropriate.

Laffin.

"Sir" Queer of the Onkyblock people has all the political nous of my fucking cock. When he's about to fight an election where he aims to win back traditional Labour heartlands in the north, the last thing he should be doing is summoning the ghost of Maggie. I understand his point, he wasn't necessarily implying that he agreed with what she did, more that she actually had a vision and transformed that into political action, which is more than can be said for most PMs over the years. Still, it's akin to saying at that at least Mussolini got the trains running on time or that Hitler could build a motorway. What a colossal fucking idiot.

It's called the weather, Aitch. By its very nature it's different week upon week, month following month and year after year. As for it being a bit nippy, most years in the UK recently in November and December have hit the high single figures, so you're totally fucking wrong there. I don't know where you are getting these supposedly regular below zero figures, I can only assume that you live in a remote glen in the Scottish Highlands, which would also explain your inability to converse in the English language.

In years gone by I'd have suggested that you immediately booked yourself into an insane asylum for even thinking this. But it's got to the point now where not only would I rather be French, I'd also rather be Belgian. And if that isn't an indictment of what an absolute shit show this country has become I don't know what is.

"The child, who is black and the mother who is also black". That sentence right there sums up your point exactly, Mike, an attempt by the media to stoke up racial tensions. What does it matter what colour she was? Are they implying that if a ten year old white girl was tasered it would be any less of an outrage? Would the tasering of a little blonde girl be more acceptable because she has less melanin? Imagine if this was the other way around, it'd be quite rightly called out for the racist fucking diatribe that is. It's no different to how the rape of a white woman in the antebellum south was seen as more horrific than the rape of a black woman. The issue should be about her age and whether it was an appropriate level of force based upon that, not about how easily she burns in the fucking sun. Absolutely disgraceful. If the laws around spreading racial hatred were applied equally and impartially, the writer of that article would get banged up. I hope that one day 'Sam' finds himself at the end of a knife being wielded by some fucking animal who just so happens to be black and that the responding copper is the one from the article. "Sorry Sam, I can't do anything to help as he's a mugger of colour, you're on your own, mate". Fucking wanker.

And an Ipswich player, so obviously unfit to represent his country.

I'm not sure how many of us are left now, but there was a group of members who received a Pete-esque PM from the wotsit-cocked deviant which graphically detailed one of his semi-legal fantasies. Noakes went fucking berserk if I recall.

The LGKGB.

Carlton Cole was one of those type of English players who have popped up with depressing frequency over the years. The sort who has one good season and is automatically lauded as the great white (or black) hope of a nation, only to then do absolutely fuck all for the rest of their careers. See Francis Jeffers, Michael Bridges and Michael Ricketts for further info.

What's your point, you fucking idiot?

I first came across Carlton Palmer (ooohhh matron) during his stint as player-manager for Stockport County. Whilst I'd previously heard tell of his legendary inability to play football, seeing is believing and it wasn't until he disgraced the hallowed turf of Carrow Road that I realised how truly fucking shit he was. I know Graham Turner had a turnip for a head, but how the fuck did Big Carlt' ever get capped for England? Was it coz he woz black?

You can fuck off with that shit, P. There isn't a Brit alive who your lot haven't claimed at some point as being 'Irish'. From Liam Gallagher to Steve Coogan and half of The Beatles and all of the 90s Ireland football team. MacGowan is one of yours so don't back track now, you fucking weasel, you're welcome to him.

My old man rang me just now, no introductions or niceties, just a hoarse whisper down the phone "Did you hear who's dead?". Fully expecting it to be about MacGowan, he then followed up with "Jimmy Corkhill". Which leads me ask a similar question, why is it never Ron Dixon?

🎶You scumbag you maggot, you dead lousy faggot, no more Christmases you arse, last year's was your last.🎶 Good fucking riddance, he'll soon be deep throating McGuinness in Hell.

Indeed, and a perfect way to convey that sentiment is to share a screen shot of ones first and only appearance on the LB three years ago with a whopping 12 likes. Lololololol You really are the gift that keeps on giving.

Hardly a surprise, anyone who plays rugby in my opinion is a massive queer.

I genuinely don't get these people's mindsets. They bang on about equality and representing all minorities regardless of character or role. Then they come out with this shit. Fuck the world.

Back on topic I recently watched the children in need Doctor Who mini episode as despite it being absolute dog shit since 2017, I bizarrely thought things might be different with a white, straight male back in the lead role. Within seconds I was disabused of that notion when the jock proclaimed that he was previously "A brilliant woman". Still, I didn't realise just how bad it was at the time. Spacker extraordinaire and all round wrong'un Davros was being played by a normal man. I assumed it was some shite that was explained away by it being set in the past before he transformed. Cue today when I found out that it was actually just a retcon because the BBFuckingC confirmed that the change was made because they considered it toxic in this day and age to portray someone in a wheelchair as being evil. Despite that being wholly patronising and incredibly insulting to anyone disabled as it implies they are inherently no threat and just good sheeple who will toe the line, it didn't escape my attention that aunty hasn't got any problems with displaying a white man as an evil, megalomaniacal psychopath, however. PUT A CHICK IN IT AND MAKE IT LAME AND GAY.