Stubby Pecker

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Afternoon, P, you smeg-breathed, sausage-chugging, arse bandit.

I've decided to revisit some of your back catalogue due to your most recent efforts containing more dog shit than R-Soles urethra.

I'm not surprised Hugh is an Eton man, rumour has it that he likes creeping into sleeping women's bedrooms and spunking his free range yoghurt into their hair. He's also allegedly got a penchant for sexually harassing his staff, to the point that one committed suicide after he forced her to have an abortion.

That's right, an abortion. Do you still want to suck his dick after that revelation? I'd wager you do, you'd never let the wrath of God get in the way of a big fat cock in your gob.

Lolololol.

🎵 If you feel a dose of spunk running out your bloody arse, you know punkapes been round you way, ay, ay 🎵

lol

On 19/04/2023 at 08:50, PANZER MURPHY said:

Why would we need subs sputters baby..ya doin a bang up job sinking yourselves..was looking at the GDP forecasts in the new statesman..it projects 4.9% growth for me n ballys country  and a -0.2% shrinkage for y'all...lol

UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY 

You don’t need subs, or indeed any kind of military beyond the weekend warriors you’ve currently got, because your government has an agreement with ours on such matters, you stupid fucking cunt. The Isle of Man militia could invade an conquer spud land in a long weekend and I’ll guaranty your EU mates wouldn’t lift a finger.

lol lol

fuck off

On 18/04/2023 at 20:06, Eric Cuntman said:

Get a Frankwig.

I’ve got Franks wig

After years of his taunting I finally offered him up for a straightener. Needless to say, I put him on his bony arse with one blow and took his ridiculous man wig as a prize. Beating up an 8 stone, AIDS riddled poof. Not my finest moment 

2 hours ago, and said:

Sounds like you have more experience of that sort of scenario than you're willing to admit, you deviously perverted, dog fondling cunt.

Whilst Neil has to wait till they’re dunk before he can bundle them into the rascal for a Norfucking good rape followed by a one way trip under the slabs, all you need is a tin of pedigree chum

lol lol lol

fuck off 

12 minutes ago, King Billy said:

That agreement became null and void the moment  Stubbers ditched his ponytail and went full man bun.

If only it were true. I’ve got more hair on my ballbags than my bonce!

4 hours ago, ratcum said:

funny enough, there have been a few excavations around the Rat Lager! 

Its Laager you daft cunt

On 16/04/2023 at 16:34, Dyslexic cnut said:

At least you’re not going down…well, at least until the Rascal’s loaded.

Can you imagine the scenario when the cops finally pull over the “luv mobile/rape wagon” for a minor offense?

”good evening sir, can you explain why your rascal has blacked out windows, a massive padlock and is rocking gently to the sound of muffled screams?”

33 minutes ago, Snowy said:

Not very civil of you ,I thought we had a bond ,like Rapunzel I'd climb your ponytail to save you in your make shift swampy wannabe treehouse in the woods.

I’d only allow you into my eco treehouse when the bins needed emptying 

Dont dis the newts

15 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Fuck off before I break all your submarines.

Withers and his mates will already be trying to offload their underwater bathtubs to some poor unsuspecting cunts. Brit hating ones I’ll bet. Trouble is, the Irish are skint and down to their last spud and even the frogs can’t be cuntish enough to flog them to the Rushkies. However, this moral dilemma didn’t stop them (and the Spanish, Wops and Portuguese) trying to sell every last Exocet missile to those Argie cunts in 82….

Fuck the frogs and fuck off @Witheredscrote

3 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Ooo..Sheriff sputters gonna clean up deadwood gulch..whats my crime..ya wont take me alive you kant..lol

UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY  

Panzy, you and I were making real progress. Have a word with yourself 

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

‘Saucepants: Portrait Of A Serial Spacker’

Has the pig shit thick cunt got himself banned again yet?

On 15/04/2023 at 15:19, Guest Tommy Tankful said:

This treacherous, fucking poofy looking millennial doesn't know the meaning of the word loyalty. Fucking leaking sensitive information on a fucking gaming website? What sort of cunts are employed these days in critical positions? And another thing, how the fuck did this anime wanking virgin tosspot get hold of such info?

Our institutions are fucked, proper fucked, if this sinister little cunt is in part responsible for national security. OK so it's the fucking americunts, but still. Who knows what type of virgin gaming benders MI5 and MI6 employ?

Link for posterity- https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-65270966

48 hours on, how would you assess how this nomination is going?

17 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

True Shit.

The Man Who Arse Raped Liberty Valence

Bum Fight at the All Gay Corral 

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I fucking hate these useless cunts. The entire system revolves around putting a piece of paper in a post box in reception with everything you need, so the first word out of the smug receptionist's mouth when you ring up with any problem is "we don't deal with the prescriptions" - only for the bone idle cunts to grudgingly log into the prescription system and figure out the problem if you sit and argue with them enough. So they do fucking "deal with prescriptions" - they just prefer to sit on their fat fucking arses browsing tictok and facebook on the reception computers all day.

 

What the fuck do these wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber even do in the modern GP surgery apart from act snide behind their little glass windows? The appointment service is entirely automated, you walk in and book yourself as present on a touch screen thingy next to the main entrance prescriptions can either be ordered the way I do them, or through some nebulous, third party app that I've never been able to get to work but they unfalteringly assure me is far, far more convenient.

 

As far as I can tell they just sit chatting behind their desk all day and detest any incursion into their deep and philosophical debates about how "My next door neighbour Jenny is getting a divorce" and how it's "probably for the best".

 

To add insult to injury, these fucking chattering flesh golems now reserve the right to know every intricate detail about you're making any kind of appointment. Fuck knows how many times my bleeding piles or disconcerting knob rash have been the subject of debate amongst the tribe, but I'd guess far more than just once.

 

How the fuck is this carry on more convenient than the old way when you got a little green piece of paper - completely undeniable in its assurity and existence - to hand over to the spotty teenager at the chemist, safe in the knowledge that you could have his head on a plate if anything with a street value on there went missing?

 

I blame the receptionist. I imagine the act of reaching into the little prescription boxes and checking that they'd been signed had been declared too much physical exertion by the swivel chair absorbing behemoths for decades.

 

I'm just going to start barging in like a druggy chav - the smack heads always seem to be seen instantly and are above the laws of any queue. 

Mrs Pecker has has some classic run ins with the malevolent she devil that loafs at our GPs. 

I think the pre requisite for this job is a total lack of human empathy, a snide attitude to the general public and borderline fascism.

"bone idle cunts", "wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber", "fucking chattering flesh golems" you nailed it killa

On 15/04/2023 at 18:11, PANZER MURPHY said:

Tell me your number 2 without telling me your number 2 ..lol

UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY 

 

Reported for being a thick and annoying cunt. Stick to your usual one trick pony routine of playing the Brit hating, hard done by, but still smiling, paddy simpleton. 

Fucking sort yourself out Panzy

On 14/04/2023 at 23:35, Snowy said:

Bay of newts.

Fuck off

22 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Quincy used to say ‘tounge’.

@Stubby Pecker, another hopeful?

Highly unlikely. The fat yellow tie wearing cunt must be dead from all the booze and class A it shovelled/hoovered into its gob/nose

Besides, he's too fucking thick to come back using the new ID and would surely revel in a glorious return.

Move on brother, I have. 

Just now, King Billy said:

Wiltshire Constabulary have still got that on file as a ‘totally justified racist attack’. 

Indeed 

2 them held him down for me 

5 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Picture the scene... a dark and stormy night and Frank turns up outside @Ape™️s house. Frank stops in the front garden, staring menacingly up at the window, torrential rain soaking his wig, his drumsticks in hand, and then, as he's about to make his move, a 20mph gust of wind blows @Frank's weedy frame over and hes blown down the road like a tumbleweed in a western. Lol

Ape is a physically fit man in his mid 40s. Frank is a spindly limbed poof pushing 60 with cancer, AIDS and other rear end issues due to years of rampant homosexuality. It’ll be almost as one sided as when I taught Eddie a lesson in unarmed combat in that desolate Swindon car park.

19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I was always a bit blasé when it came to The Rev. He was pretty funny the first dozen or so times that you heard one of his various takes on sexual violence, but in the end it all amounted to a Curtis/Elton, Blackadderesque rehashing of the same old shit.

I’d go a few dozen cut a paste Rev rants at the moment rather than listen to the thrill a minute ramblings of Ted cunt blast and his ilk 

3 hours ago, Frank said:

I fancy Lisowski this year Eric, you dope. Williams runner up. Look out for me and my dead dad down the front at the QFs. 

Haven’t you got a Ming to drag out of the freezer so she’s good and defrosted for Fridays ‘date night’?

Rammstein- Dalai Lama 

Fucking rocking tune. And a cheerful one too about the worlds deadliest air crash

Translating Rammstein lyrics is ill advised, unless you want to be very disturbed 

2 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Silver-tongued lothario.

Not a patch on the @Rev

God I miss that foul mouthed horrible Scot’s cunt

Roland TB303, the force of acid

On 12/03/2023 at 21:12, Eric Cuntman said:

He’s got potential. Did you see the way he last-minuted Helen Skelton? Probably because it’s sort of shaggable but still too stupid a cunt to be excused from the list. I reckon that 5678 might be a deep thinker. Or not.

I’d still fuck the arse off it, leaving its dung passage battered with a gallon of man gravy, possibly snapping the skinny bint in two during a frenzied double fisting session