Eddie

Promises promises.

Your aids ravished brain is playing tricks again Frank. You are currently bed bound on a piss soaked mattress in a council run hospice in Grimsby. Hopefully not for long.

I have to ask, did you ever meet Steve Coogan years ago?, he must of got his inspiration from somewhere.

The villa is used more as a getaway, to be a proper holiday in needs to be long haul. I can picture you know sucking an unlit pipe with a revolting cravat in your elasticated corduroy trousers and slip on shoes with a rubber sole, waffling on and on to your guests about an interesting viaduct they simply must visit.

Such a shame, I was looking to replace my foreign holidays with a weekend away in a grubby run down shit hole that stinks like Billingsgate fish market on a exceptionally hot summers day. Do your corduroy trousers have an elasticated waist?

I can imagine you now ape, boring everyone to death with your in depth knowledge of real ale and corduroy trousers zzzzzzzzz.

I've just been asked what ringtone I have. I said "I've never really looked, but probably light brown".

Only my arse hole and left leg.

Good man, I knew there was something about you I liked.

Agreed all Scottish are cunts, apart from baws who is a fucking cunt.

Ape would even fuck that up. Plus as he is very poor he couldn't afford the petrol and matches. I would be happy to donate a few quid.

Spot on rick, apart from the trump rhetoric. He is appealing to the silent majority. I wish we had him here.

Jesus, don't you have private health cover?

Are you ethnic?

I would however as mentioned it's not on the menu anymore. Also peter langhan and Michael Caine sold the place some time ago. Still a good place for a piss up.

Yes, past its heyday i agree, however they are not very important customers so langhans will do just fine. Ps they no longer serve foie gras due to wanker protesters.

I think I would have islam over catholicism.

We are overcrowded beyond what is acceptable. I couldn't even get a table at langhans for 2.30 tomorrow. I have to eat a 3pm and upstairs. Humiliation.

Obama lives in a house built by slaves, well according to his missus. Trump is a breath of fresh air who unlike others is bankrolling his own campaign. Unlike the others who are funded by very rich individuals or companies.

Indeed it is, fatty's on line death date is a mere 3 years away. Obviously I am working on reducing that number. Feel free to pile on the peer pressure for tomorrow's outing, 10 pints may finish him off.

The sky TV academy is a clasics example of street talk. ' I've discovered possibilities I never knew existed ' from a 9 stone soaking wet white kid who sounds like biggie smalls.

Trump is a very successful business man who knows how to get things done. America will be great again.

If I could upload pic's of our adventures I would, however the site won't allow me. We have a beautiful schedule. Start at London Bridge and end up at Covent garden. Fatty is a bender who claims to be too busy to enjoy himself. Gay lord.

Meeting at London Bridge at 11am. Be there or be square. Don't tell frank, rolled up white jeans won't cut it in the city.

Do you want to attend my 10 stop pub crawl tomorrow? Drinks are on me.