Frank

Spit it out, bubble. Whistle it if you must.

You and I need to talk, punk. I never did get to the bottom of your father's suicide.

Proper, are you calling one of your finest gofers, a faggot?

I didn't think we'd hear from you after the awful events in Berlin. How close were you?

You're absolutely fine RK. I could hardly breathe after you shit your little poofy pants when my old anal-beaded pal bawsey discovered where you live.

John Lobb's. I might have come from a three-bed semi in Hendon, Jackie, but I've never eaten a pot noodle. We're going to Mauritius on Saturday for ten days.. Mrs K's booked a hideous golf resort package in Bel Ombre, and I can't stand the sight of her jowly fucking head.

Snatch it goes without saying that you are very stupid. Why is it that even though you've never once come close to winning an argument, even with the ape, do I still have feelings for you?

Shut up you fucking old cunt.

I'll ask Eddie about Adam.

I'm gently weaning my way back in.. one step at a time. Would you mind doing a nom for me? Adam Saleh.

I honestly haven't had a moment to myself in the past three months, bubs. When I see her lying there, stinking.. knowing that this will be our very last Christmas together, it's only in hindsight do I wish that I had the spirit to knock out 1092 posts in less than six weeks.

You may recall that it was I who pipped you at the top on the weekly board moments before it was taken down. I don't think I've ever read an Alfie post. What's happened?

Thank god there's you, bubble. Not only have you managed to drag your executive arse through all of this gruelling newbie shit over the final quarter, you did it with gusto in the true spirit of the corner. Who could have foreseen decimus pandering to roadkill and chums.. being banged daily in the arse by ding, and becoming an overnight fucking idiot?

I've lost everything this year, ed. I sat in Gloucester services farm shop for almost the entire afternoon.

Do you remember the days when I considered myself one of the best, Jackie? My confidence is completely shot.

https://youtu.be/TzMSfaNXYZg

We asked a hundred cunts...

Keeeeeeeep cunting!

Okay cunts, do your dealing.

I don't like him.

Ding, we have an artificial Christmas tree in the house. What do you think about that?

It's an awfully dry spell, ape. When I'm forced to stretch and only find humour in bawsey's posts, I almost feel like befriending gyppo. https://vimeo.com/196120495

Hello wiz. It appears that I'm not as popular as I once was. It's hard at the top, but I've never felt this low. I don't know who to turn to.

Idiot.

Dance with me gyps..