Eric Cuntman

Kind of a pervy Grace Jones vibe with unnatural vocal abilities.

Pscho. Remedial spaz teacher really needs to up his game. Do the other kids in your class get upset when you eat the sand that they are using to make castles with?

Urethra was the fat henpecking cunt out of the blues brothers.

I would smash the granny out of all the actresses who played cat woman, except Eartha Kitt coz she's weird.

The bat mobile didn't go like the bat mobile. They bolted so much fibreglass on it it only managed about 40 and they just speeded up the film

Yawn. Tedious. I eat horses and snails. Napoleon was great blah blah blah. Tete merde.

The fucking smell should have given it away when you unscrewed the cap! Failing that open the bonnet and see if it has a soppy little turbocharger resembling a kids yoyo, which means its a diesel.

Fabias are fucking great, I borrowed one for a couple of weeks and didn't want to give it back. Skoda is now owned by VW, still built in Czech Republic but with German engineering and supervision . Fabia is a VW polo chassis and drive train so reliable and good handling. I'm fuckin jealous now as I got rid of my 3.0 litre Laguna and now we have a diesel ford fiasco!!!

They weren't bad little trundleboxes those protons. Trouble was if you needed parts you had to provide full chassis number so they could trace back to the jungle clearing where it was built.

Check out Lenny McClean vs mad gypsy Bradshaw on you tube. Only lasts half a minute but shows why Lenny earned the nickname. He pulverised pretty boy in the 2 fights of which footage exists but shaw claims to have beaten him in a 3rd unfilmed fight. I have my doubts! Wonder if I could persuade Gurt to meet up with me for a little workout, I could hold my 6 year old nieces coat for her and then take her for an ice cream as a reward for filling in the little prick. (And bubba)

Black widow catapult fucking hurt from across the street though.

What happened to Frankie Boyle? Did he end up in the Bernard manning home for comedians not accepted by the p. c brigade?

Used to read it all the time. Superb comedy value.

Bulldog bash by any chance? Did any of your stuff end up in B.S.H?

The fletching wasn't just to hold trajectory,it was also handy for pulling them out of your arsecheek after your so called mate decided to shoot you.

Only meant it in fun. You're one of the good ones. Part of my working life involved trying to keep 2 fisted it knuckle dragging Irishmen out of licenced premises. The infamous mr Docherty was a decent bloke but the ward clan are utter cunts. Met Roy Shaw once and he was a truly scary prospect after a few pints, even though he was knocking 70 at the time.

That's the girl, ya fucking dingbat bare knuckle gippo twonk.

Really not funny.

I thought I told you to fuck off? Hurry along, remedial class is starting soon, probably leaf rubbing or sandpit. Anyway don't forget your lunch money. Got to go meet Roadkill now and get her pregnant behind the bike sheds.

Seriously?

Near McDonalds on the one way system, right next to QD.

I've grown up a lot since I used to bully you at school,I understand that my unkindness has led to this angry emotional state you now struggle with. I can only apologise for it all. I'm sorry I pulled the tails off your "my little ponies" but you can't have any of your dinner money back because I spent it. Only joking, now fuck off before I hit you properly and leave your jaw hanging out the back of your skull.

How the fuck did a bunch of kangaroo shaggers get hold of your baby pics? (Pictures of Gurt taken in his infancy)

No Argos

Dinky toy steam roller, in pink