Eric Cuntman

You like a slutty black in stockings, how about Rosario Dawson in Sin City?

Even the pooves?

Happy Christmas you needy cunt. X

Yes dear, like a young Sidney Poitier, yes..

I think you're not coming in because your name's not on the list. Now, what do you think about that? Smartarse.

Pleased I am, to see you learn the value of subtlety. Good it is.

Listen, smartybaws. Would you describe a horse's feet as 'Hoofs'? No of course you fucking wouldn't. Geddit?

But mostly by cunts like Woody Guthrie and Boxcar Willie.

'The railroad'? Are you from the Klondike and named Zeke?

Your IP, and other information has been received, collated and analysed. Your name is Keith Higginbottom, you are slightly mentally retarded and in a creepy way. You live permanently in warden assisted accommodation in Ilford. You are currently in south east Asia, enjoying a package tour, booked via; @spanky.kinkytour.com you filthy fucking deviant. And as for medical qualifications, you worked for 3 months as a volunteer for St. John's ambulance. But they got rid of you because 3 elderly ladies complained that you tried to gynaecologically examine them after complaining of light-headedness. All of these facts are verified by Admin. You sir, are a fucking charlatan!

Wiz, I just gave you a like on another thread because you made me laugh. I wasn't thinking and it's put you in top spot above me on the leaderboard. I feel a right cunt now. At least pretend to feel guilty.

These charming little exchanges of brotherly love between you and SC, really give me hope for a peaceful future.

Roadkill can sort you out an artists impression, depicting the flame-haired Welsh temptress you so desire. He can work to order, so anything you fancy really, sublime and demure, full frontal, or full on action with a pound of utterly butterly and a trio of Shetland ponies.

I liked Gong Farmer though. And it was/is his site.

I've let my FAC lapse, due mainly to the hassle of law compliance and CID knocking on the door every time some fucking chav robs a burger van with an air rifle. I've started fucking about with crossbows. I've got a reverse draw one now. I called it Roops. Because it's dangerous and needs to be cocked regularly to maintain performance.

You've missed a few then. I'm always babbling on about firearms. I fuckin love em, and crossbows.

Dutch helm' disease.

You forgot to tell him that god created astrophysics.

Cyborgs

The AK47, idiot proof, but not quite squaddie proof. Were you in while they were still using Bren's? They only abandoned it because it was too accurate, they wanted something they could spray about, rather than drill 7.7 mm holes in things.

Don't often see those complete with the mallet for tapping the ramrod and creating a bit of breech pressure. If that's English,French or German, 7 grand upwards.

I think he only gave them to me to annoy Stubby.

Reported

He might be over there shagging your sister in law.

Did you get to keep the step ladder?