Wolfie

I have a suspicion much of it ends up on the floor of your rented bedsit, scrunched up and sitting beside plastic cider bottles and half-eaten Pot Noodles, compressed with dehydrated 'wanker's scourge' and the sort of cheap ketchup you get at roadside burger kiosks.

The subject isn't an issue. Pen could hose everyone down north of Watford with her swinging Shetland pony's cock.

This almost received my like, ultimately eschewing because of your sickening ass-kissing. It wasn't too long ago you were waging war upon 'The Flid King of Norfolk'. Pussy.

I'm amazed anyone is actually still doing Jimmy Savile impressions. You ridiculous blow-off.

Based on your survival, anything is possible.

While on the topic of big retailers, I've heard Poundland is to close a further 40 stores nationwide - bringing the redundancy of around 500 staff. Does this mean we're going to suffer even more of your insightful comments in the coming weeks?

During your months-long absence a while ago, this is what many of us had been hoping.

How very modest. When do you envisage tackling the mental side?

You fall squarely into this category.

It's just as well none of us is getting to you.

Of course, Ireland's sufferance is totally unique, especially in the eyes of a UK politics-obsessed Anglophobe with a little too much time and alcohol on his hands. Here's wishing Ireland well in their 3/4th place World Cup playoff this afternoon, in light of them having such a great tournament.

I'm so glad you responded – I was beginning to think you didn't care!

Do your children find you funny, 'eavens?

I see you're being all laid-back and easygoing again, Pansy baby.

'Anus horriblus'. Is this what your Latin boyfriend says each time you get on all-fours in front of him, Judge?

Ah, so you'll be driving when you come to visit. This means you'll have to stay the night after we've devoured my two bottles of chilled 2008 Sancerre.

I think you meant to comment on the 'Shit men in older clothes' thread, Pansy.

Have you ever thought why so many people offer you their seat?

Just type 'Thick Mick' into Google Translate, Mrs R.

Well, if it isn't Mr Shit! What an interesting, studysome individual you're proving. You really are the weirdo in the park who prompts mums to grab the hands of their kids. You probably detest dogs because they sniff you out from the bushes. 'Hey mum – look at that funny man over there!' Not only have you demonstrated a human and dog faeces theme throughout, you also seem to have a slightly milder obsession with spunk and urine. And the words of your latest avatar: 'Taste My Arsehole Motherfucker.' How peculiar. The notion of you suffering from coprophilia grows ever closer. I don't hate you, r-soles. I pity you.

Shut up Pen, you incredibly obvious, grammatically challenged and painfully unfunny androgynous oaf.

I see your point, really, but each time you walk into a bank or make an online transaction you're lining the pockets of a plethora of thieving, government-subsidised shitcunts. I have little doubt Mr Boon is any different – so what singles him out? If I purchased a first-class train ticket (perhaps to sit down with relative quiet to work on my laptop), I'd be mightily pissed off those who hadn't were sharing the same benefits and service.

I notice Roops has also picked up on your soft hands. Frankly, I'd be surprised if you know how to lay bricks or hang a door. The cracks in your statement began to appear as soon as you drew attention to yourself by uploading photos, young man.

Aside the blatant racist hypocrisy of your last sentence, the photo is most certainly the fat little cunt we all loathe. Is it his cock you don't recognise?

I don't see what the fuss is about. I quote the Govia Thameslink Railway spokesperson: "Passengers need a first class ticket to travel in first class and there were other people with first class tickets in this compartment... while the front coaches were busy, there were seats and space in the rear coaches, as Mr Boon explained." What's the problem?