Last Cunt Standing

Monsieur Troppmann, I presume?

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone..

I think I put a Mirena in this lady back in the day. Definitely an open-the-window morning.

I know it’s a subject that has been done to death since 2016, but I could not let news of HMG’s latest construction project pass without asking The Corner what their collective view is, as if I don’t know. Reports are that The Govester is buying up vast tracts of Ashford to form a Lorry park so that all those hefty trucker types can complete their reams of paperwork between Yorkies, while the Hop fields of central Kent become home to fleeing Somalis and Prostitute corpses’ wrapped in carpet offcuts. In addition I gather that vile Witch Leadsom has rather let the mask slip by going on the morning news to say no deal does indeed mean no job for many and this was absolutely what the people voted for. From this distance I can just shrug and change the channel, but fuck me, it’s not exactly going to plan, is it?

You people need to drink more.

Actually Judge, for me you’re no longer the biggest Cunt on The Corner, and our Venn diagram probably has more overlap than either of us would imagine. Your strident defence of the poor and ignored and belief that the elite will ignore them chimes strongly with me, it’s merely we have reached different conclusions on the problem. And if indeed you are ex Plod, then we would likely get on, I’ve never met an ex-Bobby I didn’t find good company, mostly because we have a shared disdain for the general public. Breakfast today is a Bacon and Mushroom roll while I walk the dog. I know you think it’s bollocks, but it’s a cool six degree morning and there’s a soft mist over the Indian Ocean to my left with a milky sun. A few morning surfers and the fluttering flags on the Surf Lifesaving club. Winters are very different these days.

I suspect he’d cover all the Abrahamic faiths, Ape. My condolences in dealing with the prick.

I knew a joke once about a Scouse Vascular surgeon referred to by his colleagues as Our Terry but I’m afraid it won’t come together at this time of day. Pearls before swine.

Please take a moment from harvesting Checkatrade to discuss the inherent contradiction in these two statements. I’m sure Judy will help you out with any advanced logic, he’s good at that. He should be back from the fictional kebab house any time. I’m off for breakfast.

You two need to co-ordinate your bitching a little better, at the moment it feels like I’m under a pincer attack from Little and Large. Feeble.

Not at all Judy, it’s just nice you have a friend, it must be a new experience for you. I’m just curious how long it will be before you turn on each other. I’m afraid I don’t know the etiquette on how to respond to four emojis given I’m not a teenage girl so I’ll just wish you a happy Saturday in Virustown.

Well that’s just dandy. I’d say you have life cracked and you deserve every one of those three bedrooms. Master of your own destiny, and so obviously a happy soul. Winning! These qualifications you speak of, is it the full Not Very Qualified or the standard Shitty and Guilds you have displayed in your Poundland clipframe?

I’d recommend any of his HBO specials. Back In Town is the best for me.

It’s basically a way for cops to spot newbies. 2 years split into red and green Ps. No driving after midnight, max speed of 100kph, only one other person in the car, zero blood alcohol, etc

It’s compulsory here. And it’s quite a good laxative seeing green P’s on the Toyota Landcruiser come roaring into your rear view mirror.

George was from the very top drawer. Amazed the UK never took to hm. Him and Lenny Bruce wrote the book.

Indeed, he was touted as the next big thing and he is rapidly turning into a workhorse in the mould of Chris Lewis or Daffy DeFreitas. He’ll be over bowled again no doubt, mostly because I imagine those around him can’t believe how pedestrian he is becoming. No bite, no snarl. As the King of Yorkshire would put it, he’s bowling like my Aunt Annie when she’s been on the sherry.

Yes, but England looking at a big first innings deficit.

You really are embarrassing yourself now aren’t you? This cliche-ridden shite is so tedious I can barely tear myself away from the Cricket to engage. In fact on reflection, fuck it, you carry on with your Ladybird Book of Geopolitics I really can’t be arsed. When you’re queuing for bread next February like Moscow circa 1991 I’ll remind you what a glorious triumph you dewy-eyed patriots have conjured up for yourselves. I’m quite amused by your first paragraph. I spent the vast majority of my career self employed, like most in my profession. I’m surprised someone who spends much of his time “fleecing NHS scum” or whatever it is you were so recently proud of doesn’t understand the rudimentary basis of the independent contractor model. But then I spent most of my working life dealing with mouthy cunts who knew bugger all so the surprise is only fleeting. You and those two-bob morons like you are why the public sector employees you disparage deserve every day of leave they take. Believe me when I say they curse you before you get to the car park. And speaking of cars, you give us all yet more clues as to your own line of work in describing your day. Years of graft? Work from home? Local Authority Regulated? You are Fat Brenda from Streetcars, Weatherfield aren’t you? A pitiful private hire wanker. Your Dad would be so proud.

The Spanish feed them acorns. Makes damn fine ham. Even with your enlightened views on animal welfare, the aim is not the happiness of the pig, it is the quality of the pork. “Will you walk with me, Grasshopper?”

We used to call working from home “scrounging” in my day, but then times change. Please don’t let me keep you from another day slaving over a hot sofa, I’m worried enough about British productivity and the GBP/AUD rate without such a commercial powerhouse as yourself wasting time on a Cunting site. My NHS pension needs you to put your shoulder to the wheel, so crack on - your Grandad fought a war for this country you idle cunt. As for the once Viscount Stansgate, he is much missed. I’d love to have heard his take on your heroes Gove and Johnson eviscerating the country they claim to love so much. That so many of you reactionary wankers keep the populist faith is astounding. If you can’t see by now that those at the top are laughing at you while they rob you blind then I really don’t know what to say. What will you spend your £10 restaurant voucher on? If you like Greek then @judgetwi is your man. He’s good at restaurants too.

Tony Benn is more my cup of tea, dipshit, but thanks for dropping by. Haven’t you got to be at work soon?

“Nightclubs” can cover a multitude of sins for nefarious types. Here’s covert footage of a certain forum member engaging in a typical calm family discussion.

Broad made a non too subtle dig about the toss on radio earlier, so I can imagine Ben will want him “rotated” for Old Trafford too. I’m surprise he hung around to be water boy, his Dad would have told them to get fucked.