Cunty BigBollox

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

There's so much ammo here Drew I feel like a kid at Christmas. Nevertheless, shouldn't income from your rental properties, seeing as you claimed to be mortgage-free, keep you going beyond 23 January?

I'm a fair landlord so I like to charge affordable rent (that's 80% of market value, if you didn't know) and therefore the profit won't keep me in the lifestyle I deserve i.e I want to carry on drinking Rekorderlig cider, not Woodpecker. That said, I have raised the rent recently so I've given myself the option of doing nothing.

32 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

 

 

Blimey. Have you changed to 12.5% Manchurian crabapple craft cider following your recent redundancy payout?

Funny you should ask, but no. The stupid fucking employers agreed to 'pay in lieu of notice' so they're paying me to do fuck all until 23rd January. I should have a job offer by then as I'm considered a bit of an expert in my field of expertise and believe it or not, I'm a chartered professional.

53 minutes ago, Neil said:

I do like a flooded cunt

With a 28-day egg?

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Could it be lead in the red paint he uses on the propellers of his toy choppers? Perhaps @Cunty BigBollox might have some idea as he knows about plumbing and might have seen the effects of lead pipes

The only time I want to see lead pipe and @Ape™️ in the same sentence is when somebody has carried out a real-life enactment of Cluedo and caved his fucking skull in.

The reason Blockbusters went bust was because more people owned cats that needed rescuing from trees by fireman, so they didn't get as much time sitting around on their arses watching movies.

Absolutely untrustworthy pile of shit government with this cunt at the helm. Who do you think was Director of Public Prosecutions when all the sub-postmasters were being taken to court and prosecuted without evidence. Sir Queer Starmer was a significant enabler in this massive miscarriage of justice and Sir James was allowed to carry on fiddling with flids. 

48 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

Silver lady was a good one .Most people know this bit of trivia but I'll repeat it anyway because I'm a cunt .The opening sequence when David soul jumps from a height onto a roof of a car actually  seriously damaged his back and gave him pain for years .When you look at it you can't help but whince, you can see it's a really heavy fall right on the old coxix or what ever that bits called . 

I would imagine that if you performed the same stunt you would have stuck to the roof like an extra strong plunger soaked in gorilla glue thanks to your capacious over-stretched arsehole.

26 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Funny that, I had an Afghani refugee mini cab driver taking me to the hospital the other day. Quite chatty, turned out he was a qualified doctor. 

Did he offer to examine your prostate in the next secluded lay-by?

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Wife beating cunt. Fuck him. 

You've got to be cruel to be kind. The stupid fucking bint couldn't make sandwiches so he showed her a knuckle one.

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Happy New Year, Big Bollock. It's the 5th of January, have you only now sobered up from New Year's Eve? 

David had a drink problem like you, but seemingly managed to sort himself out before he ended up dead. Do you think you can sort yourself out? 

Not before I sort you out. Do you want to try spilling my pint and see where it gets you?

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I haven't spent £450 on a television to have fucking wires trailing all over the living room like it's some sort of Bangladeshi mechanic's garage. You may enjoy stumbling around pissed off your nut and tripping over things, but I certainly don't.

How much??? You do realise that however much you spend on the TV it isn't going to improve the enjoyment of you watching the men on Naked Attraction while you spaff your ectoplasm over the remote.

On 01/01/2024 at 16:20, Decimus said:

Why don't they ever put these fucking things somewhere easy to access? I've lost count of the amount of times this Christmas I've been scrabbling around the back of the telly like some sort of queer cunt slipping on a heavily lubricated disco floor.

With all the progress we've made with electronic technology over the last twenty years, you'd think some little Jap cunt would have had the genius idea to put these within easy reach instead of making them as difficult to find as a @Frank post that has made anyone laugh since 2016.

Fuck off.

You stupid fucking retard. Just buy a couple of 500mm long extenders and you can put them where you like.

A good suggestion other than the fact that within all these highly qualified engineers and doctors there are also numerous expert vets that would make James Herriot look like a trainee, apparently. Goat gynaecology a speciality.

Does anyone else think it's weird that a woman with batman in her name was once accused of 'Robin' from a charity?

Fuck right off, cunts.

Oh fuck it, Happy New Year!, I have it on good authority David's middle initial began with an 'R'.

21 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

You’ve been warned about posting after 7:30pm - this post being a prime example of the nonsense you come out with once you’re pissed.

It's after 19:30, you antiquated AM/PM cunt. What have you got to say about that then? Have you been sniffing polystyrene cement again while building kids Airfix models?

Fr-Huw The Keyhole

5 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Afternoon, Big Bollock. Have you got an alcoholics red nose?

No, I've got a brown one after muff diving a girl who just received an Alabama Hot Pocket. Enjoy your fucking tea. Lol

23 hours ago, Eddie said:

Lenny Henry is a cunt, made his name and fortune taking the piss out of Blacks, siding up to whitey and married a cracker. Now he’s a ‘proud’ black man, hypocritical wanker. The only blacks that have ever made me laugh, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle.

Don't forget riding on the back of actual talented comedians with the Red Nose Day shit.

55 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

She is a fucking abomination, whose "act" is only slightly better than watching a Down's syndrome kid playing with its own shite.

Talking of act, did you catch the Jack Caroll CP cunt in Coronation Street last night - you know the 'comedian' that didn't win BGT - I guess he can't be that bad then.

Anyhow, he can't fucking act for Diazepam, or toffee.

20 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

The only sad cunt here relating to Rosie Jones is the fucking idiot who created a pile of shit nomination about her. 

I sense an affiliation to Rosie's condition here, I've long suspected you're a dribbling fucking spastic too, can it be fact??

Well, it seems like Liverpool might get knocked off the top spot for the most 'Woe is me' location this year thanks to a tornado hitting Manchester.

https://news.sky.com/story/uk-weather-live-updates-travel-disruption-expected-with-wet-and-windy-warnings-in-place-as-uk-braces-for-storm-gerrit-13038118

Where the fuck is Bob and Midge to organise a benefit gig to raise some funds to repair these hovels, we need to raise at least £120 to polish this pile of shit, in my estimations.

@King Billy thoughts?? and a pricelist from your dentist for a set of gnashers, Royal Doulton ones, obviously.

On 22/12/2023 at 21:50, Ape™️ said:

How’s it hanging?

Fuck off Bloo Funda 🚁

6 hours ago, King Billy said:

1944. He was performing on stage at his local Gestapo officers Christmas party 

Probably demonstrating how to get the legs of a goose out of the front of your jack boots without ripping your helmet off.