King Billy

“It’s not a real mouse dear.”

Antarctica used to be very popular with Egyptian holidaymakers. The answer is always there if you look Major.

He’ll apologise in a minute.

You won’t be getting any rent from me Luv unless you start learning some manners. 🌲😂

If I said I was close friends with the Chief of Police at Cape Verde it wouldn’t be true so I won’t. I’ve never met him or her. Just wanted to clear that up.

They’re all cunts, regardless of rank. No exceptions.

Teachers are all cunts. That’s a scientifically proved fact. Even our own factchecker Mr. Roops wouldn’t dare argue with that.

I thought it said ‘Life in heaven’ by ChildeHarold. If I’d known it wasn’t a suicide note I wouldn’t have bothered looking at it. Very disappointing.

Wasn’t it June when all those girls went missing down there?

I’d like to give you a length. A length of lead pipe across the back of your skull.

If you had to, which one would you choose to suck your enormous cock, while the other one was bumming you? Just asking.

For 12 years.

Moped Repo man.

I had you down as more of an Ubercunt.

Shhhh!

You can kill yourself if you like.

I think it’s only fair if I start paying you a nominal rent Luv. I can’t live rent free in your head for ever can I? Since I’ve been living here I’ve been having a good look for this big Mensa brain you seem to think you have. No sign of it whatsoever, just a Brussels sprout and a wind tunnel howling through between the ears. Oh and the toilets blocked so I’ve been shitting in your pharynx. I do apologise.

Do you and Pen work for the same cab firm in Rochdale? Will I have to dress up as a 16 year old girl?

Are you threatening to rape my mouth? That sort of thing may have been acceptable in the Middle Ages (when you were born) but it’s definitely off the menu now. You’re worse than Neil.

Both older than Stonehenge.

You spelled face punched off wrong you fucking onion.

You should have mentioned that you’ve got a bigger cock than him. I guess you forgot.

Kills all known Germans dead. Make mine a double.

Apart from the inheritance tax legislation neither can I.

Why were you travelling through London on Jeremy Vines pushbike?