Major Cunt

Ello, Fagan. Did you honestly think I spent those lost years wanking myself stupid, and regretting the predicament I found myself in? Nope, I read everything from roman history to WW2's most famous battles and everything in between. I also spent hour after hour in the gym. Along with making many contacts that played on much higher level than me, and if it hadn't been for the love of a beautiful woman my life could have taken a different direction. If I was you I'd think about a few disguises. Remember that you're from my Manor, and a quick call could have your kippah redecorated with grey matter. I like you though, Jewdy, so no need to fear! 😃

I noticed that you need to question yourself on whether you're a bad person or not. Now, I'm no psychologist, but you're are certainly a man who's deeply unsure of himself, and that all those years spent pissed up on a scooter and abusing all and sundry was worth it, as you crack open another Kestrel Super. Maybe a one way scooter trip to Beachy Head could solve this problem. Shalom, and fuck off..

I didn't know the council did bedsits anymore, Jewdy. Forgive my ignorance, but I honestly thought you would have landed an adapted bungalow with the obligatory ramp outside by now. I'm guessing that the influx of new arrivals from various parts of Africa and the Middle East have pushed you even further down the waiting list. It's a sad state of affairs as you tick all the boxes for your own council adobe, but times are changing. I never bought into you being paid for dishing out blowjobs at the gay bar as your high rate DLA must be more than enough to cover a kebab a a day. Maybe you just love that special sause on tap at your workplace. Contrary to your 1970's old bill stereotypes there's very little bum-banditry going on UK jails, and I hate to dispel your fantasy. Shalom, and fuck off!

I'd just invest in a course of steroids and a gym membership. In the long run it's going to give you more self esteem than constantly bidding on genuine Rodney Trotter slacks on Ebay.

You've probably just planted a seed in the Judge's Kestrel Super addled grey matter. He's either going to sell up and move to a property in occupied Jerusalem, or purchase a bungalow in your quaint slice of England. Drew's either going to relish the prospect of a morning scooter race to Bargain Booze, or be frantically phoning any other branch in the locality to place an order.

It's been known to happen on occasions, Frank. However, the Corner wouldn't be the same without your claims of driving a black cab, being a commercial landlord, and the occasional acidic comment, and obviously the odd obscure song...

My best advice would be not take yourself too seriously. This site is a massive piss take after all, and if you're not too sure about me that's fine. The Christmas party's always involve a few straightners so we can sort it out then. Ask @Eddie he's always hitting the heavy bag incase Fender shows up. It might be a good idea to stay off the amphetamines, DC, and drop a few Xanax instead.

Ming resembled the consistency of a Sush-Puppy the last time Frank fancied a bunk up. Obviously this weather was the final nail in the coffin, and he's finally taken a leaf out of Dennis Nielson's book and dropped her down a man hole. I've already told him he'd have his pick of the Cambodian lady boy's desperate for a British passport, but he's just waiting for the travel ban to be lifted according to our PM's.

I haven't watched the news for a while as I'm one of many switched on individuals who can see through the bullshit that's constantly trotted out daily. If there's even a chance that Churchill's statue is going to be toppled or removed then we're living in times more dangerous than I thought. Without that man's leadership we would probably all be speaking fucking German, and would probably have Himmler's grandson as our prime minister. These fucking idiots should pick up a history book pre 2000 and read about the sacrifices made by thousands of young men that have allowed free speech. Unbelievable!

It's a sad state of affairs, and I think this sums Frank's predicament up...

That happened a long ago, Frank, but you've been man enough to finally except it. Redemption could be only a video away though. Surprise me...

I didn't know about the Aquascutum outlet, and am gutted that I missed that place, but it's not my neck of the woods. Frank would probably say that he wouldn't lower himself to visiting an outlet store, but we both know that he's just scared of loosing his Gucci man-bag round those parts. He's incredibly familiar with the West End though...

Sad news indeed, Rasta. I'm glad that it never became the fake chequered patterned garment of choice for northern cunts like a similar brand. Burberry had a decent factory outlet warehouse off Mare St in Hackney that I used to visit in my teens, long before the brand was almost destroyed. If we're talking about jackets then it's CP Company for me.

Shalom, Meyer. I spotted a Stone Island kippah on Ebay that I thought may be of interest to you. You'll look the dogs bollocks at The Valley, and everyone will be able to spot it as you're stuck on a scooter. I never knew 'The Lost Tribe' was scattered around South East London, and you're no doubt keen to fulfil the prophecy. However, Palestine is now becoming a hot potato despite the Zionist owned media's suppression of the occupation. Did you hear the story about the Jewish terrorist? He had second thoughts about high-jacking a plane as he didn't want to use his air miles. 😁

Sounds like the kind of establishment the Judge would frequent, and no doubt used his free bus pass for the journey. Was 'The Blue Oyster' wheelchair accessible? I'd imagine quite a few of the locals received a nosh and possibly some back door action. It's certainly easier than chasing the local livestock round a field when pissed.

It did, Panz. However, the return of Jewdz-baby has been a welcome comical relief. He's not changed a bit, and is still championing the red sea pedestrians despite their indiscriminate bombing of Palestine. Stick around, you backwards saxophone blowing Mick, and drop the repeat Brexit bollocks.

I wonder if the Judge was in the mounted division of the met. If he was then I'd imagine a thoroughbred shire horse had to be only steed capable of carrying his gargantuan frame at public order offences.

Thanks for clearing that up, Stubbs. Your knowledge of Israel seems to be on par with Herr Rat. Not seen the old bastard lately so have no way of cross referencing your Alan Whicker-esque review.

I hope you don't mean "riding on your back" in the biblical sense, Jewdz? And is justice a euphemism for one up the kyber? If that's your bag then I suggest you contact @Earl of Punkape as I'm sure he'll oblige. Forgive my ignorance, but I can't keep up with the pink brigades current terminologies. Shalom

That it may be, Aitch, but the cost of drugs over there is almost double what you would pay on the mainland. Curtis 'Cockey' Warren hit upon the bright idea to import a ton or so of Morocco's finest in order to clandestinely get him back on the Sunday Times Rich List. It was doomed from the start however has he failed to recognise he'd probably be a high on the security services hit list after his parole from a Dutch jail. Maybe it was all a ruse to prove that he's actually lost his millions in ill gotten, or maybe he just likes breaking the law. Whatever the case he ended up with another decade or so boarding in her majesty's guest house...

You Irish lead the world in apathy, Panz. It's basic human evolution (I'll use this term loosely), but when you're just as likely to be killed by a stray horse and cart as you are a badly wired gift from Gaddafi, it's the only real choice. You could possibly cut your alcohol consumption, drop religion altogether, and start taxing the fuck out of Leo's Lichtenstein. I've just given you a plausible road map in under a minute.

The Judge must have purchased a factory second then with faulty guidance systems. I'm sure he'll be cracking open an extra Special Brew upon seeing that high rise come down. It's about time Hamas got their ordnance issues sorted out. Fireworks are hardly gonna bring the kikes to the negotiating table.

I dunno, Jewdy. Some of my material regarding you has been applauded harder than a Netanyahu speech at Congress. You overestimate your ability to bring the house down with that famous jewish sense of humour. Shalom brother...

That's just cracked me up, Stubbs. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Never confuse adulation with acknowledgement, Doc. I'm a cunt after all, and that's why I'm comfortable here amongst kindred spirits, (the spackers excluded). The second coming of everyone's favourite wheelchair bound roman informant has certainly inspired some quality material. I'm hoping he sticks to his words about Roops' not running him off the site this time, as he seemed to disappear under own steam quicker than an Italian soldier hearing a firework previously.